Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

1. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #321

   they do, i think they give you a cord that supports up to 50 pounds more than the person. Not sure though, and people do lye in large numbers!

2. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #322

   "You really weigh 160 pounds, sir?"
   "Uh...Yeah...160."
   "Sir? You have some...You've got some fat rolls hanging out...."

3. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #323

   im suing for calling me fat!

4. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #324

   See sir you signed a contract you cannot sue for me asking your weight

5. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #325

   but I havnt signed the contract yet!

6. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #326

   See this visitors book? You sighned. If you look at the bottom it says you can't sue...

7. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #327

   *tears up visitors book* now im mad, *pulls out 12 gaige and relieves himself of annoying service woman!*

8. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #328

   A man walkes up to the customer "Excuse me sir, you cannot kill our receptionist for doing her job."

9. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

   #329

   *another bullet rids disgruntled customer of other annoying worker*

10. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #330

    "I give up!!! Sir go break your neck if you feel it is nessasary!!!"

11. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #331

    YAY I win, death with honor will never be mine!

12. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #332

    James Dean said "Live fast, die young" Or it is a common saying for him anyway...

13. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #333

    but i dont want my life to go by fast, and I want to live to a ripe old age so i can be one of those old men sitting on porches and yelling how "In my day kids respected their eldrers and prices were reasonable, and it was uphill both ways!"

14. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #334

    I want to be the "Cat Lady" who everyone is scared of... no not really but I want to listed to rock really loud and curse till my heart's content, and freestyle rap in the "Home" and have awesome tattos

15. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #335

    You young whippersnappers!
    In my day, we couldn't take a fancy-schmancy bus to school, we had to walk! And it was uphill, both ways, without shoes, in a snow/hail storm, with only heated potatoes to warm us!

16. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #336

    well, you should try the bus... It's not all it is cut out to be gramps.

17. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #337

    exactly, if your lucky enough to find a seat its usually cause its covered in puke.

18. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #338

    not to mention the fact that every time I had to ride it (I live in town now so...) there was this guy who sat next to me. He lived at 'the hill' (our local rehab center) and he would sit next to me no mater how hard I tried to block the seat and he smelled like diretoes ( the cooler ranch kind) and I had to climb over him to get out. I didn't like him and was glad when he got out of there so I didn't have to see him.
    
    Last year, I rode with my friend and I swear the cursing was so bad I had to rinse my ears out in the sink when I got home.
    I hate the bus.

19. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #339

    ya, im immune to the cursing now because it is non-stop everywhere at my school.

20. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #340

    So am I but still. Heck we have kids doing pot in the bathroom so most of us wait till we get home to go...

21. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #341

    ya, drugs are huge at my school too, I think they are popular everywhere.

22. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #342

    teenagers=drugs

23. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #343

    Hey! That's a misconception! Everyone instantly connects teens and drugs, but not all teens take drugs!

24. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #344

    I don't but I act crazy enough that people think I do...

25. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #345

    Well, you can never generalize if you want ALL of the group to do what you are saying (with the exception of breathing, living, eating etc...) But I agree with Almatari, the majority of Teens do do drugs..

26. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #346

    I do hope that I am a little diferent...

27. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #347

    Ya, most people here probably arn't stupid enough to do drugs. (I say most because I unfortunatly cannot say with 100% certainty that all don't) In my stupid health class I had to take this year though, I think the stats were that 54% of teens currently do drugs.

28. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #348

    Reminds me of the day my mother swore I was on drugs. Little did she know I had just stumbled upon some life altering facts... the sky is NOT purple. Elvis is dead. And I'm from Pluto. It was a long night.... but I don't do drugs. Not ever! But I'm guess I'm crazy enough to make folks wonder.

29. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #349

    You don't need drugs when your life has shifted six inches to the left, like mine!
    
    IA CTHULHU!!!

30. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #350

    You're right. In that case, you need grog.

31. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #351

    Oh, darn mine only shifted five...

32. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #352

    wow, I think I got the extra inch, mine went 7!

33. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #353

    One day I was Sitting in my room just minding my own business- just thinking about everything, but, then again, nothing- when my mom came in and called out my name, but I didn't answer her. So, she screamed "Mike, Mike." I said, "what, Mom. What's the matter"
    "What's the matter? What's the matter with you?"
    "Awe nothing, Mom. I'm just sitting here thinking to myself. How about you get me a Pepsi?"
    "No. Your on drugs!"
    "No, Mom, I'm not. How about you just get me a Pepsi?"
    "No, your on drugs!"
    And she wouldn't get me a Pepsi. All I wanter was a Pepsi and she would'nt get it for me. And she just kept bugging me, and she just kept bugging me.
    
    lyrics by Suicidal Tendencies circa 1982

34. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #354

    I like Coke better than Pepsi. And I like Dr.Pepper better than Coke.

35. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #355

    you put the "." in captain! Shame!

36. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #356

    NO! (Scoops out his own eyes with spoons)

37. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #357

    "NO"
    *rushes captain to hospital before permanent damage is done*

38. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #358

    No! *puts the '.' back in the Dr.Pepper*

39. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #359

    No! *tries to take the 'in' out of insanity but fails miserably*

40. Almatarian Wisdom (Hah! That's a good one!)

    #360

    "NO!"
    *tries to take the 'tree' out of insect, then realizes there is no tree in insect, so settles for removing the pots and pans instead.*

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