Kullryke Yurik Kralden-Wurl Plainsholm Drannor
A Leader of all the Drannor has emerged with the heart and fury of her nation. Finally, the Orc-nation of the Drannor will rise up and crush their centuries-long oppressors.
Kullryke Yurik Kralden-Wurl Plainsholm Drannor
(Savior Cunning Dragon-Heart from the mother plains of the Drannor Tribe Nation)
Several hands taller than an average human, her mass looms above the villagers gathered to hear this so called leader of the tribe nation out. Her uncharacteristically dark olive skin sheens in the moons glow from light perspiration.
At a lull in the murmurs she announces, 'You Drakxs have lived on our peoples land for far too long.' Spittle flies from her lips as her derogatory address at the herd of plains-folk gathered. A small slurping noise punctuated her sentence as she breathed in, bubbling saliva in from her protruding lower teeth. As heads turned toward the rock she mounted, gasps of surprise were heard. It was if she was made of the night itself.
Thick dark scales of a slain dragon draped down her dark skinned torso. Fore-claws clasped at her neck, claws of a young dragon. Hind claws meeting at her waist like a belt buckle and the tail appearing as if her own. The wings furled like a cloak. Its head rests on hers as if to be-helm her. This gives her an overall image of carrying the young dragon as her own. A wicked and ornate Great-Axe hung from her belt with a bloat.
'We of the Tribal Nations of Kyle Drannor have grown from compassionate and caring of your exile, to displaced and angry as you stole our homeland, to abandoned and vengeful. During this past era, have you shown care or compassion? No! You Drakxs have shown only prejudice and selfishness to our plight, and pleasure at our suffering.' It appears as if four eyes stared at the crowd gathered in front of her. A low murmur is heard again as neighbors in the crowd consult about the validity of her claims. It is hard not to admire her beauty and courage. Lynching has occurred with worse odds.
'Your lack of restitution for these four hundred years has now come to an end. Tonight, I Kullryke Yurik Kralden-Wurl, high leader of the Tribe Nations of Drannor decree, you and your family, tribes, towns, and nation are faced with two choices.' She paused for time to have her words take affect. Many eyes widened with fear of what her words mean.
'You can leave our homeland,' She pulled her massive dark gauntleted hand to point to the northern horizon, 'or you can stay and die.' You have till the moons rise new. Shouts of anger burst from the herd.
With that, an inky blackness crept from the woods to cover the stone and the lone dark figure atop the rock. Nothing penetrated the velvety cloud. When it receded, she had vanished.
Yells of disbelief and outrage called into the night as she ran full tilt through the wood. A wicked smile grew upon her face.
Life is the struggle against death, by the hands of your enemy, or the attrition of time. At least your enemy can be seen and met face to face in the final dance.
Yurik Kralden-Wurl Plainsholm Drannor Comment on Life
A ghost of a sound and a soot-like blur, are all that announce Kullryke Yurik. White protruding fangs and a wicked glint from two pair of eyes are all that stand out from her dark olive skin and black scaled hide. The dragon-scaled hide and dragon-skull helmet mark her prowess and spirit. A pair of dark totem stack shafted spears are slung across her back peeking above each shoulder. Her grip tightens on the dire runkir-hide wrapped grip on a carved handle attached to a dangerously curved alloy metal axe which reveals a purple glean.
Like ink in water, hatred clouded the air making it difficult to breathe. Her courage so strong I swear I could taste it, like blood-of-the-slaughtered and vinegar. Her gaze and presence were like that of a dragons roar, rooting us to the ground. My fear blossomed and it weakened the legs on which I stood. She spoke words containing the force of an entire enraged nation, filling me with a pain at the injustice she spoke of. It was only until she left, that I notice my legs were soaked with urine.
Gunther Weldonson Smithy and Defense Captain
Stripped of the ancestral homeland, turned by a long-lived race, Yurik’s hatred runs deep. Her ascension to the tribe-nations leader has left her with a century-long memory of battles and injustice. There are even memories of the glory of the former plains-nation.
Two memories fuel her convictions.
The first occurred during Yurik’s youth. Her father visited a border tribe only to find the entire tribe slaughtered including children, some of which were tortured. Why? Because they were Orcs. One survivor, a child named Skarshak, was buried in a food-store box by his mother, where he hid for two days. From his location in the earth he heard the muffled sounds of death and smelled the blood of the dead piled just above him as it seeped into the ground around him. Her father adopted the boy into his tribe and Yurik loved him as a brother.
The second, from a past Kullryke spirit, is during that first displaced winter spent locked out near the entrance to the dwarven nation. Ill equipped for winter in the high mountains. Too dangerous to descend. The dwarves watched as 1/3 of her people froze to death. Some of them even laughed.
Plans and Goals
She must strengthen her people and their newly formed unity like the last great Kullryke Frowlik Drannor before her. Which means taking back the ancestral land. This means taking the capital of the human nation.
She plans to exact retribution upon the neighboring dwarven nation who showed their backs at a time of need. Her plan is three-fold.
1. Lead a strike force to destroy/remove the heart stone. The very symbol of dwarven resolve.
2. Seed distrust and discredit the dwarves with neighboring nations. Playing on insecurities with murders, kidnappings and assaults appearing as if from the dwarven clan.
3. Lead a two fold attack. destroy the water reservoir to flood 60% of the tunnels. Assaulting the entrances to use and allow dwarven enemies to enter, while protecting against all aid they may receive.
She will stop at nothing to liberate her ancestral land from the human invaders and push them back to whatever hole they came from.
Yurik likes to take on the visage of Groonta. She is a clumsy, mediocre prowess soldier who is out to make her mark. Claiming that her rigid society doesn’t give someone of her stature a chance. (Read: nerd who wants to be warrior.) With this persona she is able to better infiltrate her enemy and find their true thoughts regarding herself, her tribe and her nation.
Yurik as Groonta
will sandbag and bluff her way to have players believing she is not very powerful and will stifle any signs that she harbors a secret hatred and disdain for any Human or Dwarf in the party if needed. When her mission is complete she will return and destroy them.
Yurik as Kullryke
is a confident and powerful leader. The confidence is based in her strength of station and sense of destiny. Her bond to her nation gives her strength of conviction that she is furthering her peoples will. She IS the peoples instrument to free them from exile. She has bested many a foe both on and off the field of battle, by misleading them to play into her greatest strengths. Yurik has no worry of being bested by anyone unless they, gain her favor.
Yurik treats all PCs without respect, unless manipulating them. This attitude changes only by PCs displaying great cunning, courage, or strength. Nothing short of spectacular will impress her.
Dealing with Humans
- She realizes that their greed, ambition and selfishness are her best weapon against humans. She will often use one or two to exploit or turn a killing blow on the rest. (Turning trusted allies etc.) She will always give someone a native nick-name. Typically an insult and use it to their face. She often attempts to get them to see the injustice they have done to their nation and admit it before she kills them.
Dealing with Dwarves
- She never lifts a finger to assist any dwarf. Often she leads one into terrible situations and watches them falter, and die or suffer while they plead for her help. At which point she points out their ancestors transgression, and leaves them to their fate.
She is fashioning a helm from the visages of her pleading victims. She plans on using this on missions against the dwarven nation.
She is a lead-from-the-front style tactician. But that doesn’t mean she leads the charge. She will often lead a flanking unit to surprise the enemy, and revels in slicing and routing them as the slaughter drives the enemies mad with shock and fear. But as a decoy she dresses her best warrior in an outfit befitting the station of leader of a nation. This decoy typically leads the bulk of the force into battle. Frequently, the battle is preceded by small ambush attack to unnerve and reduce the morale of the enemy.
Personal Motto :
A tribe is only as strong as its weakest member, and led to greatness by powerful and cunning leaders.
Polukin-Father of Yurik
Know Thy Enemy :
Yurik learns the PCs are hired by her enemy to find an item to tip the balance, which the PCs will use (unknowingly) against the Drannor. Yurik joins up with the PCs to learn about the strike force her enemy has chosen and their motivations. From this she will take the item, and turn the PCs into her weapon instead.
The PCs on their quest trespass into sacred land and the ancient spirits alert Yurik. Yurik educates her tribe about dealing with desecraters.
Crippling Blow :
Yurik learns of the PCs critical role in her oppressors next ploy against her people, she plans to deliver a crippling blow before her next assault.
Yurik Kralden-Wurl Plainsholm Drannor was born under the lunar eclipse, with the portent of another battle wafting in on the mists before dawn. Fires of the enemy were burning with the light of hatred and vengeance. The bones of foretelling were cast for the battle. They told of immense glory, and of a legendary struggle passing to its elder years connected to hope and of a persistent prosperity. Above this was the powerful Dragon Spirit.
The deep jungles of the Drannor were the only safe-haven from the human advance. In the deep jungle the natural dangers were ever-present, but not genocidal. She lived in the Tribe of Grey Wall, named for the thousand foot cliff jutting out of the deep jungle. Life in this basin was difficult and deadly. The deadliest animal was a Black Dragon Drufel who made his home in the marshy regions surrounding the sacred falls. Drufel spent years attacking and torturing all who attempted to draw from the rich waters of fall base.
Thinking on her pending spirit walk, Yurik knew she must not only take great risks to show her resolve but provide a service to her clan if she were to lead her tribe and her people. So she chose to rid them of Drufel. With this she set off to destroy him. She thought that if she could puncture its stomach the potent acids would kill him from the inside. From this, she devised a trap.
She arrived at the sacred waterfall and tricked Drufel into eating dragon delicacies. What Drufel didn’t know was that in the treat was a spring-loaded steel blade that would release upon dissolving the connector. She followed him until the trap was sprung. She harvested his pelt and return to declare her totem spirit - The Mighty Dragon.
Yurik made her bid for tribe leader, she spoke to her people, telling them she promised to do three things, first rid her tribe of the new dragon menace. Second, become Kullryke, leader of all Drannor tribes, and bring great honor to her tribe. Lastly Yurik proclaimed her tribe will once again reside upon the rich plains to the north and be renamed Plainsholm tribe at the ancestral homeland.
This bid the elders could not ignore. If Yurik could fulfill her promise the Tribe nation would be stronger than ever. They also knew if she were to achieve the title of Kullryke, their test must be her worst. If she was to pass it, then she would surely be able to win the hearts of the other tribes too.
Her two trials would be to find Drufels Mother, Loketta, and stop the attacks on the tribe, and then she was to travel to the spot the last Kullryke fell, currently the throne room of the capital city, and contact his spirit and gain his blessing tear, a crystal that allows direct contact with his spirit. Yurik set off against these difficult tasks.
She tracked the location of Loketta, as more of her kins-orc need not die. So off into Death Swamp she trudged. Trying to figure out how she will befriend a dragon who’s son she personally killed and who pelt she wears.
Yurik Found Loketta two days later. She managed to quickly explain her sons death was unfortunate but necessary for her tribe. Loketta seemed to be unhappy but understood. Yurik then told Loketta of her vision for her tribe and offered an alliance.
'I offer myself as a daughter in your sons stead, I have the heart and spirit of the dragon, and I would be honored to be considered as part of your clutch. When I succeed in gaining Kullryke, You will have the entire Drannor Nation as your family. When we regain our homeland I can offer sovereignty over Grey Swamp. I ask as my personal ally, that we ride into battle together, and I humbly request your counsel.'
The alliance was accepted. Yurik rode upon Loketta to prove her first success towards Kullryke.
As Groonta, she posed as an outcast witch from the borderlands of the Drannor wishing to give King Goeff a portent of ill tidings. Due to circumstances, she was granted an audience with Geoff.
She tricked the King into performing her ritual in the guise of foretelling. Through this she gained the Spirit’s blessing tear and it give the King a warning portent.
The spirit addressed the King telling of an ancient enemy of her people would come forth and take his kingdom and destroy all he knew. Explaining further that he would die at the hands of an enemy he knew well.
With that the spirit vanished into the tear. Geoff left brooding. She was dismissed.
To think, I had her standing before me. Only a sword-length away. If I had only known, I could have saved a nations worth of agony. She is truly a conniving demon.
Marcus Geoff - King of the nation of Geoff
From there, her path to Kullryke was dangerous, challenging but successful.
By then end of the next season, she was Kullryke of the Drannor, and making plans to crush the humans and make the dwarfs pay.
Totem Spears of Erghoon
These spears are guided by various animal spirits and the Totem spirit of the greatest spears-orc of all the tribes, Erghoon the true. When need is great, Erghoon’s spirit calls upon the animal spirits to find their mark. The weapons can summon the elements and emit a natural energy discharge upon striking.
Axe of the Ancients
- This axe is carved with the totem Spirits of all past Kullryke whose personal animal totems are linked. When the spirits are invoked, the Animal totems and spirits imbue the wielder a short lived Boosted senses, such strength, speed, agility, awareness, reflexes, and it further protect the wielders mind from assault.
Black Dragon Hide Armor(Drufel)
- The Dragon hide she wears is the insolent son of the leaders one true consult Loketta. In addition to the hardness of the scales, the hide can grant the wearer brief periods of flight and ever-present gliding. It is through this hide, that Yurik can emit the inky blackness from which she emerges.
Black Dragon Helm (Drufel)
The head and neck of the dragon Drufel were used to fashion this helm. The wearer is bestowed with the senses of a dragon, such as sight scent and hearing. Worn with the armor, it emits a frightful aura.
As Kullryke, Yurik has an indirect link to every tribes-orc under her. She always understands the desires of her nation, and generally where they are. This is similar to not knowing the location of a bee in a swarm, but you know where the swarm is.
Force of a Nation
This ability manifests itself in two manners. When speaking to groups or individuals she is able to impart with force, the meaning and emotion behind a message so that it is fully comprehended. The link channels the will of her people and causes her to voice to carry the weigh of a nation of people, similar to the feeling of an entire arena of people singing or shouting as one voice. Yurik has also used this to weaken moderate fortifications prior to a siege.
The second form is a Battle Cry which buckles an enemy combatant’s resolve. This scream attack destroys the nerve of most enemies and has been known to route units on the battle field. Often her bodyguard retinue is equipped with a devices which amplify their battle-cry using their hatred of the enemy to weaken an enemies resolve.
This work admittedly fashion from Native American Culture. My attempt was to create an enemy that PCs can meet in various settings. And they should hate and be very frightened of her.
Her voice and retinue are ideas from Warhammer 40k Howling Banshees, but it seemed to fit so I’ll borrow it. I’m always welcome to suggestions regarding this.
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? Responses (17)
Please Edit And Comment Honestly
I will admit that the title is spooking me a bit. I will get to this soon though. :)
Does this mean some feedback? Very Welcome. Are you referring to the title being too long?
You lost your quotation marks and apostrophes in the transfer from Word to Strolens. Strolen gave some information about how to avoid that in this forum thread: http://www.strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,4059.0.html
She's a colorful character, and deserves the chance to shine. I recommend that you shorten the title a bit and rewrite the initial blurb (It's written in passive tense, something you'll want to elminate.)
Your writing is vivid, but you'll want to carefully review your text, returning lost apostrophes, correcting minor errors, and eliminating passive tense.
Apostrophe correction got it licked now. Hmm tense my seductive enemy. Title and Blurb will be reworked as I Add to the History, and include RP notes equipment, and any author notes. Updates to follow soon.
Let us know when its ready! Always good to see a work improved.
minor suggestion: Keep the title, take out the translation in paranthesis, since you have it immediately underneath the tagline already.
Updated: I have updated this. I have attempted to take comments into account. I wish to only expound upon the history.
Getting better and better!
Updated: Updated: Fleshed out the Background. I'm going to give it a day or two before a check Tenses. but please let me know your thoughts. I sounds like I should submit upon editing tomorrow.
With each revision, Kullryke becomes clearer: Your next challenge is to bring all the tenses into line and put quotation marks around each of her quotes in the text.
The opening summary begins with several metaphors: These images paint a vivid picture, but I'd abbreviate it since you repeat the text within the main body of the piece. Alternatively, you might mark the opening as Gunther Weldenson's quote and remove the quote from the main body of the text.
Kullryke's special equipment and ablities are well-described. I'd also appreciate additional detail about her motivations and the suggested plot hooks.
Her background is... too much. While it has a great amount of interesting detail and says a lot about her character, you're basically asking the reader to absorb several of her adventures. I'd strip that down to a quarter its present size, saving the information to write separate tales of her early adventures. You have the imagination to do it, you just need practice polishing your writing.
A few errors eluded your previous review. After you revise the tenses, you should have someone else read the text, marking anything they find confusing. It's always harder to see one's own errors than it is to see other people's.
This piece will be impressive when it's fully polished!
Thank you Wulfhere, as always this is why I posted under In progress. The suggestions, are very helpful and can't say I disagree.
The history was to give a sense as to how she approaches a problem. But once the idea spawns to life in anyone else's game, she will be played as their vision, for which a short summary works best.
An end of day post and Word have foiled me with the quotes again.
Updated: background abbreviated
Updated: Performed edit corrections. Fixed minor errors fixed quotes and apostrophes, adjusted tenses. Separated Armor into armor and helm. Fleshed out motivations and plot hooks. Active vs. Passive yet to be tackled. Waiting on independent review/edit for "final" update.
Will try and comment tonight. Lunchtime too short to finish this one...
Quite good! One typo stuck for me though - "a slew dragon". Slain is the correct tense to use there.
Lots of interesting bits and pieces.
Updated: Corrected Slew to Slain
An Orcish Boudicca.