Cavern of Inane Natter · Legacy archive
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#721Never will I stop
I am always typing erratically here
And I won't stop now -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#722one turkey baster, a roll of duct tape, and Paris Hilton's pop album, I can destroy you -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#723Actually, I don't think you would need the turkey baster or the duct tape. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#724Noooo not Paris Hilton's pop album! NOOOOOoooooo! -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#725Such inhumanity...
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#726Of course he would need the turkey baster and duct tape. The tape to make sure you don't run away (or would you be frozen in a maddening stupor?), and a turkey baster to baste the turkey. Scras like to cook while he tortures. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#727Nothing worse than a dry turkey, except listening to Paris Hilton pop music, duct taped to a chair watching me eat delicicous freaking turkey
BOOSH!!!!!! -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#728I challenge you all to a duell of banjos!
We'll banjo our way through Paris Hilton's pop album, with Scrasamax doing the vocals!
The Strolenite Banjo Orchestra: The Paris Sessions. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#729How much will this album cost? More importantly, how much will it cost to burn every copy? -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#730Drackler, you fiend! Why would you want to burn copies? We don't want MORE! I suggest we throw them into a bottomless pit. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#731Hmmm... Perhaps I was misunderstood. Allow me to rephrase: "...how much will it cost to purge them with fire?" -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#732I'm a simple man. I like dynamite, and gasoline, internet porn and fast food tacos. All these things, you see, are cheap -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#733Gasoline ain't cheap here in Europe. As a matter of fact it is bloody expensive! One hour backrubs are cheap... In Laos, where they cost 1 USD. That is what I call cheap. If someone asked me to rub their backs for an hour, I'd consider listening to Paris Hilton instead. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#734Bioware + Mythic = True
http://kotaku.com/5302069/ea-combines-mythic-and-bioware-into-a-giant-rpg-robot -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#735Ahhh... One more week, then it is three full weeks of relaxation (or rather being whipped around the house by the off duty supervisor) -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#736Ah, the joy of late-night adrenaline and random youtuberry. To write an opera is what I wish but I don't know music worth fhtagn, so I;ll have to settle with not writing one. Although, a rock opera about something as inane as chicken fried steak would be a very interesting enterprise. Well, now, I'm just rambling. So I'll give a few snippets that I've written for no good reason. You don't have to read them. I'm not forcing you. Here goes:
"And I spake of fantasy. I spake of dark places full of crawling things, shimmering caverns, deep beneath the sleeping earth. I spake of grand vistas, beyond imagining. I spake of great powers, dragons, mages, gods. Yet none believed my tales, and thus, I ceased speaking."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows
"Never have I seen such grand vistas and unimaginable horrors as that day that I opened the window and looked out at my own city."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows
"To think of death is to fear it, but if one was to completely forget what comes after this life and the dark figure that stands there, then all fear would fade away."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows
"There is no thought or feeling as mighty or as misleading as that of nostalgia. Many a man has wasted his life away in the arms of that which is no longer. Faded glories and long-lost loves are no more than shadows now, but many have come to listen when a lie is whispered in their ear of glories to be re-won. I, myself have oft heard those tempting tones, telling me to grasp at my last fading strands of happiness; and I gave in. I let myself slip away into the oblivion of things long gone. I only just barely shook from my eyes the shades of yearning in time to leap once again into the affairs of the Now."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows
"Men, by nature, are inquisitive beasts. We look to the stars and wonder if there are others like us. We look to the seas and wonder if there are gods in those frothy depths. We look to the shadows 'neath our beds and wonder at what sort of monsters lurk there, unseen. But not all who wonder have the idiocy to look more closely into the darkness. Yes, I call it idiocy. Others may call it courage to look into the face of your death and laugh, but there is no doubt in my mind that this is not in any way intelligent."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows
"There was a man, though I hesitate to call him that, who once said that there is no courage; only idiocy. This man said that facing fear and Hades with a laugh on your lips was 'unintelligent'. Dulrigar, for that was his name, Dulrigar of the Hallows, was most definitely wrong. I have oft felt the steely grip of fear, but rarely have I had the pure courage to face it down. The pure, raw courage of kings and warriors; the safety and security of the knowledge that death no longer holds you in its fearful grasp. To Dulrigar, I say this: You are no man, you are but a craven dog with no true sense of bravery."
- Hortolb, Scholar of Thurm
"Things are found, things are lost. But nothing is so nice as to be both lost in substance and found in mind."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows
"I once walked on my own down dusty halls to visit one far more grandly arrayed and much less greatly thought of than myself. When I reached the king, he asked me of my health, and I answered. He asked me of my kin and I answered. Then he asked me of his foemen, and I declined to give him insight into others' thoughts, and he answered. Now I sit in his jail cell; this is his answer."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows
"The transfer from contentment to peace is an easy one. The trouble comes with peace in lonliness."
- Dulrigar of the Hallows -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#737Above his bed
A shrunken head
Grins grimly in the darkness
While at his feet
A dead man sleeps
The body of Jack Harkness
Grey tattered curtains
As if to make certain
The body by the window
Hang straight and still
Above the quiet sill
To hide that light that we know
But a glimmer of light
Pierces the night
A moonbeam in the darkness
Falls on the hand
Of the sleeping man
The body of Jack Harkness
But the light shows more
A figure by the door
Swinging eerily in the darkness
About her neck a rope
Her face without hope
The dead wife of Jack Harkness -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#738Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....what?
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#739More!
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#740Last one, for now...
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#741
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
That's a horrible thing to name a child, it means neglect/negligence. Great, you've just told the child that you hate him and wish you'd never adopted him, congrats. 5 yrs from now he's gonna go and kill himself... :p -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#742Look, I found a picture of Strolen and manfred redesigning the citadel!
[img width=400 height=400]http://cdn1.kongregate.com/assets/artwork_files/0003/5910/doubleagentLARGE_medium.jpg?1247871336 -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#743 -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#744That was actually pretty good! -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#745Yes, it was! :D -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#746Bill Gates, citing China as an example, said:
"Although about 3 million computers get sold every year in China, but
people don't pay for the software," he said. "Someday they will, though.
As long as they are going to steal it, we want them to steal ours.
They'll get sort of addicted, and then we'll somehow figure out how to
collect sometime in the next decade." -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#747Bill Gates is a servant of Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos. The BSOD actually causes sanity loss. When the stars are right, every Windows enabled computer will BSOD at the same time. The resultant world wide surge of anger, rage, and despair will open the great gates of the heavens. R'lyeh will rise again, and the Great Old ones will return and the age of man will come screaming to an end -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#748No way on earth that I could have enough SAN to survive the BSOD's i've seen :P
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#749I want to create a worm that BSODs the Mac! :p -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#750I wholly support this proposition, but that's not what I'll tell irate mac owners later. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#751Irate Mac owners? I tell them to hurry the hell up and get my latte made, I have things to do besides twiddle my MP3s on my iPod andgoof off with iPhone apps. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#752:D
Damn, I should hire you as an author for one liners that will STFU Linuxers and Macers.
Not that I am a Windows fanatic, for Windows sucks in so many ways, it is just that a computer or OS is just that... A computer or OS. A tool, not a bible. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#753I'd like to see the backstory of the PC vs Mac commercials, where the PC goes to work and has money and the Mac goes skateboarding in the park, gets hurt, and the video is posted on youtube for millions of PC users to watch and laugh at. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#754*starts rolling dice*
*kick starts the imagination*
*discards office thoughts in an office drawer*
"Yeeeehaaaaaa" -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#755Quote I snatched from somewhere:
HI EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
try pressing the Caps Lock key
O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!
fuck me -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#756The llama cometh. Prepare thyself for the Ruminant Arrival as foretold by the Goats Of Blisbane.
Reckon the Reckoning has been Reckoned ya' reckon? -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#757Mainly of concern to muh fellow amaricuhns: with our current national debt you could cover every square in the entire united states, including water and alaska, with $100 bills, and still have enough left over to buy a small island in the carribean. Also it took me being wasted to sit down and do the math to figure this out... also, firefox's, or the forums, I'm not sure which right now, doesn't recognize the word math as part of teh english language... but it does recognize laissez.... good job spellcheck... congrats -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#758I know I mess things up
Turning gold to stone -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#759Zombies.
Say this and people start throwing around notions like zombies are 'fun' or that they are a fundamental expression of American xenophobia, the downfall of the consumer culture, or even a collective form of germaphobia.
I feel the Zombie and the genre have another core meaning: futility
Sure, you can outrun them and shoot them. but they dont have to rest, and you will run out of bullets before zombies. no matter how well protected and fortified your house, skyscraper, underground fortress, or rolling deathbunker is something will fail, they will get in, and everyone except one of two people are going to die horrible screaming deaths. While some might consider it hope, or optimism, its refusal of the inevitable. No matter how well armed, prepared, trained, etc, the zombies are going to get you. The only thing that might keep you alive is dumb luck, or living souls between you and the dead.
Thank you and have a nice day.
When the undead come, they will pull you down by the throat, kicking and screaming. When you stand up again it will be as one of them. Then, it will be your turn to take down the next victim. Tomorrow will rise up and destroy today. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#760You need to get out more! :P