Cavern of Inane Natter · Legacy archive
The Call of Captain-thulhu part 2
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The Call of Captain-thulhu part 2
#1It was a close encounter of the penguin kind...they came in their space ship, it looked like a giant red herring made out of christmas lights and tinfoil. It smelled like a herring too...
I got out of my truck, and stared in amazement, I knew they were coming to a place that looked like a giant stone penguin...or a giant bowling pin, perhaps penguins like to bowl and drink light beer, i dont know, i'm not a penguinologist...
Then I realized that penguins cant fly...or hover for that matter. Must be the drugs. I went home and went to bed and dreamed about the headless penguin...it means something...I was also really, really sunburned.
We're talking lobsters say i'm red. It really hurt, and I saw that my lamp, missing it's shade, and the bulb broken out looked like the headless penguin...i saw too in the mashed potatoes, kinda like some whacked out glitch in the Matrix...
They are coming for me...I know their secret, i know! Dammit I know they can FLY, I've seen them, i've seen their ship...
They are coming -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#2Adel pats Scras on the head and offers him some chess pie! "Eat the pie penguins can't fly... eat the pie penguins can't fly" her eyes twinkle as she chants in a hypnotic voice "eat the pie penguins can't fly" -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#3Before Scrasamax can even move a hand to take the pie, a black shape leaps up from the ground, snatching the chess pie in his mouth and downing it without even so much as chewing. Shadoweagle Sniggers malevolantly, wringing his hands together in an obviously evil gesture before dusting the crumbs off his volumous black robes and fleeing down the road, awaiting his next chance to pilfer more pie! -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#4Standing in the back of a fortified pickup truck, Captain Penguin considers the blasted wasteland, the product of nuclear war, the collapse of civilization as we know it, and the rise of order through biker gangs.
Then, with a flourish, he pulls out his flag proclaiming:
"IA CTHULHU!" -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#5Shadow you were already above my standards as a smart intellagant boy/man, and are very able to be talked to sanely if that is ever possible. i believe most boys/men here are more than what i call.... dumb i believe most boys/men here are rather intellagent, and must be to be able to write so well. :) i salute you all. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#6Scras is despondant. ShadowEagle has once again pilfered his pie, and it seems the penguins have hypnotized Adel, and ended the world as we know it in a thermonuclear war. I guess the whole ice age to follow a nuclear exchange was their final goal, to turn Florida and the Mediterranean into nice cold places for penguins to romp and play.
Either that, or Mercutio's drugs REALLY rock. Wow. The sunburn still hurts, impeding efforts to bludgeon the pie pilferer. Lacking anything else at had, Scras throws the mashed potato sculpture of the headless penguin cum bowling pin at ShadowEagle and curses him. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#7"AIEEEE!" A wail of despair echos up from the darkness of the road which Shadoweagle had fled down, followed soon by a tumbling sound, as though someone had tripped over the hem of their robes and gone rolling several metres. Perhaps a minute or two later, a very distraught mage plodded back into the light, his volumous black robes marred with the splatterings of potato, and his cheek bruised as though it had been scraped on rocks. Wordlessly, he halts before the perpetrator, Waving a finger warningly at Scrasamax's face. A death stare is given through grim, black eyes. "Do not incur the wrath of a magician, BOY!" He stands in that pose for a few more seconds, before his bottom lip begins to tremble, and two fat tears roll out of the mages eyes. He then turns and flees, whimpering and crying as he fades into the darkness once more, hands over his face. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#8aw that wasn't very nice, making a poor mage cry, poor thing, -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#9Let me explain why... Look over there!
*runs the other way while they aren't looking* -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#10*look's the way that cap'n is pointing* "but i don't see anything cap'n do you mean that little speck on the wall right........, :shock: where did he go??, cap'n i think i know why you told us to look that way!! i think it was to witness a spot on the wall, cap'n, CAP'N, I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO LOOK AT. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#11Shadoweagle is a Mage-Boy? i didn'y want to make him cry, besides, i am pretty sure it was the Cap'n who put the rocks in the mashed potatoes, it was part of his evil penguin scheme, he might have hypnotized me and made me do it subconsciously. I mean, look at how quick he ran.
It was really a nice scupture...DONT EAT MY PIE
:evil:
DONT EAT MY PIE!!!!
fear the penguins...they are planning on wiping out all non-marine avians, and small tasty fishes from our planet!!!!
they'll probably eat all of the pie too. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#12NOOOOO, not all the pie, oh no, I know you did'nt mean to make him cry but you did and know you have to find the mage-boy and say sorry, and tell him that it was the cap'n that put the rocks in the potatoe, it's the least you can do. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#13Goes away looking for ShadowEagle.
Shadow! where are you? Damn, this is like hunting for that ninja in FFIII.
Wherever you are, it was the cap'n, he put a rock in the potato penguin when I wasnt looking.
If your robes are dry-clean only, I'll help pay for the cost, because I know cleaning robes can be expensive.
Now, I also know some goblins who own a dry-cleaners they bought from some nice Korean people. They might give me a good deal on cleaing some robes, I mean, I did put in a good word for them with the loan officers, City sanitation, the leaser of the building, and everyone within a two block radius. They own me...I think they do eat penguin, might tell them about it...hmmm -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#14that was damn right decent of you, i'm sure him and you will be best friends now :lol: but im not saying that you don't have to be mad at him for stealing all of the chess pie man that was just horrible not giving anyone else any chance for chess pie damn you :D -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#15I missed the pie? But shadow, how could you? :cry: making a girl cry. Shame on you, dude! You should know better then to make lil old me cry! I'll getcha you know! You just wait! No more hugs or cookies for you! -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#16Shadoweagle appears once more, scowling but obviously much more composed. "Look what you have done, Scrasamax!" He indicated the clean robes which he is now donning. "These robes arent black!!! Just very very very very dark grey! I'm an insult to my order! I have my GOOD robes boiling in a vat of acid as we speak. But its going to take a good ten MINUTES to eviscerate that potato!" Shadoweagle sighed faintly, then turned to Danu, patting her head, " I sorry Danu." Whilst patting her head, he reaches his free hand into his robes and extracts the last piece of pie which he had bieng saving, and idly throws it in his mouth, munching on it. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#17Shadoweagle will feel a small sharp pain on the end of his tounge when he pokes it out he finds a small but painful mouse trap on the end of his tounge* that will teach you for stealing all our pie" :twisted: now maybe you will think twice before pilfering pie while im around hehehehehehehahahahahaha :!: -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#18I told that Goblin to take good care of the robes, I did. Besides, you really cant even tell its dark dark dark grey and not black. Besides, I though most of you evil mage types were colorblind. I mean why else where nothing but black.
If it is a fashion statement, it kind of makes you look like Luke Lavin after his batteries run down. If you know what I mean.
Hehe -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#19A small squeak of surprise registers from Shadoweagles lips, but a wave of a hand later, and said mouse-trap is transformed. In its place, sitting atop his tongue, is a simple, chocolate-chip cookie, which is promptly devoured. "You cannot prove a thing! How could you accuse me of such a thing!?" Shadoweagle pouts, crossing his arms in front of him, "It's the whole 'black robe mage' thing, isnt it!? DISCRIMINATION! The thought that black-robes are evil is just a stereotype! Some of us might have FEELINGS, you know!" Shadoweagle takes a seat on the floor, sulking. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#20Well, you know what they say. With a keen eye for detail, one truth prevails. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#21Who said that? -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#22I've got Hell hounds on my trail.
I better turn around and hit them with a spiked club or a Flail.
This quest I will not fail, even though it might put me in jail.
But nontheless, I will prevail.
I will raise my sail and loud and clear chant a great Hail.
But first of all I must expect your mail.
If I do not recive it I have to dring two barrels of brown Ale.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Hell hounds, ride own. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#23Has anyone read "Bored of the Rings"? -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#24Right... -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#25Well, at least I am not the one unleahing wind tunnels here... -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#26Well, standing in front of Magus is a sure way to be the recipient of a wind tunnel attack. Monk, mage, whatever.
Here, have a pie. :D -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#27Pie pie wheres pie, give me some pie :d please, and what the hell is a wind tunnel? never heared of it, you all talk a load of rubbish most of the time hehe, thats why i like this place *picks at the pie being held out in front of her, and then picks up one whole big slice and swallows it whole* mmmmmmmmm pie -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#28One day you will make Shadoweagle very proud, or very angry, I dont know what he thinks of competition.
Whatever you do, dont take his robes to the goblins to have them dry cleaned. He gets pissy because he has to boil them in acid or something like that to get them the right shade of malign black.
I think the wind tunnel is when Magus yells at people for picking on magic users who believe in the gratuitus use of fireballs, lightning bolts, and Swords of villianous Explosions. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#29right ok then so i don't think i want to have a wind tunnel thing thrown at me, might be scary, and shadoweagle can kiss my pie, he's stolen far to much of MY pie, everytime i try and have one :cry: he nicks it waaaaaaaaaaaaaa *run's of crying* -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#30"DYAAA!!!!!! She stole my pie!!!!" Shadoweagle shakes Scrasamax violently by the shoulders. "SHE STOLE MY PIE!! HOW COULD YOU LET HER GET AWAY WITH IT!?!?!?!?!" -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#31"I'm sorry Shadoweagle :oops: , she threw me for a loop when she told you to kiss her pie...I was like all WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY!? :!: :shock: :!:
I am resigned now, I am going to hell for having a mind that lives in the gutter... :cry: -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#32Hmmm... "Kiss her pie"...
Heh-heh-heh... -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#33/me activates the automatic street/gutter cleaner. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#34Shouts and screams as the gutter washer, a demonic device not entirely unlike a street sweeper, whirls the rogue scholar in a dizzying display of circles, and loops. How very reminescent of a Warner Brothers cartoon.
:Lands with a wet plop:
Thank you Shadoweagle, I needed that. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#35hmmm, intresting what does this button do *looks at a button on the side of the street cleaner thing, and starts to prod it with her finger*
hey, you do know that 'kiss my pie' means kiss the pie nothing else, men, filthy, you should all be very ashamed of yourselves tut tut tut -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#36NEW AVATAR! -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#37A tanned male. -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#38i beg to differ -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#39*wonders whether to take Magus' comment as an insult or not* -
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 1
#40I like the Avitar. LONG LIVE FFX!!