Citadel Tavern · Legacy archive
Favorite Game Quotes
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#81"The Saxons are approaching slowly across the moor, dressed in patchy armor and holding bloodstained weapons. They're sweeping their eyes through the area, and you can see the gold rings and their blonde hair glinting in the dawn light."
"Viking pigs. I'm going to rise to a kneeling position and nock an arrow."
"Are you sure? One lone Briton against a full party of armored Saxons..."
"Yes."
"One of the Saxons notices you. He points at you and shouts to his comrades. They're starting to rush in your direction."
"I send feathered death into the one who appears to be the leader!"
*dice rolls, associated movement rolls and checks*
"The Vikings stop and have waffles and coffee for breakfast after tearing you to bloody pieces." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#82GM: "A few crabs skitter along the shoreline, pinching at bits of food and refuse."
P1: "Hmm, I bet a barrel of crabs would sell for a lot, where are those kegs of ale you bought?"
P2: "What do you need the kegs for?"
P1: "The crabs!"
P2: "You're going to pour all the ale out? I bought that stuff!"
P1: "Pour? We're going to drink it all!"
P2: "I whole heartedly agree with this plan! Well, whatever this plan is, anyway."
(A keg of dwarven ale later)
P1: "Allright, let's get those crabs."
GM: "Hold up one second!" *dice rolling* "Okay, you guys are too drunk to remember what you were doing."
P2: "Well atleast we got some beer out of this. Can we head into town?"
GM: "Sure, make an intuit direction check."
P1: "Intuit direction? we already know the town is in the south east!"
GM: "Yes, but you're too drunk to remember that, too."
P1: "Oh... well you have the higher wisdom modifier, Hugo, so you make the check."
P2: *Rolls some dice* "Err... an eight..."
GM: "Well, taking into acount the massive penalties for being hammered, You decide Haven is to the Northwest."
P1: "Atleast we'll run into a town eventually."
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(After encountering and defeating a few wolves.)
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P1: "Allright, the last one is dead, right?"
GM: "Not quite, it's unconcious and slowly dying, it's just frozen into the attack position because of that last spell you cast."
P2: "We could probably sell it if we get it to civilization soon enough, so let's take it with us."
P1: "Wait a second, remember those fish I caught earlier?"
P2: "Yeah."
GM: "Do I want to know what you're going to do?"
P1: "I'm storing them in the wolf."
GM: "Oh god... next thing you know this thing is going to be the party mascot.."
P1: "Good idea!"
GM: "I'm not sure whether I should rip up your character sheets or go hang myself..." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#83This list sort of strikes the rules of the thread. These are quotes that have inspired campaigns. Most are from fiction, but some just are.
"This is Free Trader Beowulf, calling anyone. . .
Mayday, Mayday...we are under attack...
Main drive is gone...turret number one not responding...
Mayday...losing cabin pressure fast...calling anyone...please help...
This is Free Trader Beowulf...
Mayday..."
I love Traveller....
**In no particular order**
"Nope, sorry. I'm too smart to be a heroic hero."
"The world is in a constant state of flux. It changes for that is its nature. It is when Mankind attempts to make this flux stable, permanent, that troubles arise."
There is no conspiracy. Nobody is in charge. It's a headless blunder operating under the illusion of a master plan.
"Let's be bad guys."
Serenity
"Time for some thrillin' heroics"
Serenity
Do you seriously think I'd explain my master-stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago.
Adrian Veidt Watchmen
Adrian Veidt: I did the right thing, didn't I? It all worked out in the end.
Dr. Manhattan: 'In the end'? Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.
Watchmen
"When I was little, my father was famous. He was the greatest samurai in the empire and he was the Shogun's Decapitator. He cut off the heads of a 131 lords. It was a bad time for the empire. The Shogun just sat inside his castle and he never came out. People said his brain was infected by devils. My father would come home, he would forget about the killings, he wasn't scared of the Shogun, but the Shogun was afraid of him. Maybe that was the problem. Then, one night the Shogun sent his ninja spies to our house. they were supposed to kill my father, but they didn't.
(woman screams)
That was the night when everything changed. "
(Shogun Assassin / Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance)
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
Rutger Howard- Blade Runner
"That's no moon...it's a space station."
"So you think you've solved in fourteen days what they couldn't solve in two years?"
"Power is fleeting; love is eternal."
"That's right. Run home to momma. Me? I'm through runnin'. I say we stay and fight."
Ash Army of Darkness
"Gosh, that takes me back... or is it forward? That's the trouble with time travel. You never can tell."
Dr. Who
"I can be very dangerous when I don't know what I'm doing"
Dr. Who
"We need guns. Lots of guns."
Neo the Matrix
"I am a Ranger. We walk in the dark places no others will enter. We stand on the bridge, and none may pass. We live for The One - and we die for The One!"
Marcus Cole Babylon 5 (Wasn't this lifted from Lord of the Rings?)
"And I looked, and beheld a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him." -
Revelations, Ch. 6 V. 8 (quoted in Pale Rider ...always makes me want to play a Western rpg!)
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."
Henry L Mencken
"A hunger in his soul drove him on and on, an urge to right all wrongs, protect all weaker things, avenge all crimes against right and justice. Wayward and restless as the wind, he was consistent in only one respect-- he was true to his ideals of justice and right. Such was Solomon Kane."
Robert E. Howard
"Go down the right alley in Sin City, and you can find anything."
We are told to remember the idea, not the man. Because a man can fail. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot touch an idea, cannot hold it or kiss it. An idea does not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man who made me remember the fifth of November. A man I will never forget.
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
Dylan Thomas Makes you want to play Werewolf!
" This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian":
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."
Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words
Harry the king, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day. "
Shakespeares Henry V's
This speech is given before the Battle of Agincourt always makes me want to do something stupid and heroic, like participating in a medieval battle.
"Can a magician kill a man by magic?" Lord Wellington asked Strange. Strange frowned. He seemed to dislike the question. "I suppose a magician might," he admitted, "but a gentleman never would." Lord Wellington nodded as if this was just as he would have expected.
Susanna Clarke in Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
The life of a man is like a game with dice; if you don't get the throw you want, you must show your skill in making the best of the throw you do get.
Adelphoe by Terence
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#84From Moochava
"Always steal, only hacks try to be original. (Only geniuses succeed in being original, but come on, man, are you a genius? I'm not, I run Dungeons & Dragons.)"
It is now the sig line for several people.
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#85My absolute favourite during a D&D-session:
Hellmer the angry dwarf to the BIG red dragon:
"And what would you have your money for when you're dead?"
Never tilt a sleeping cow.
In a labyrinth, always hold right. (Turning walls don't exist, then?)
[I'll be back with more from my sessions, of course]
Fellonius the Wizard, 365 years old and counting -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#86"Do you realize that after this adventure, this whole party can meet the requirements to becoming blackgaurds? Even the paladins. All you'd have to do is change alignments."
If you are unfamiliar with D&D 3/3.5, blackgaurds (prestige class) are are essentially anti-paladins- utterly evil and vicious. The hardest requirement to meet is to make peaceful contact with an evil outsider. We not only made contact with an outsider that was *technically* evil, we did it a huge favor. -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#87Me (as GM): You guys see a wooden door with strange wooden hinges, bolted into the walls with wooden dowels.
Joe: I open the door.
Me: Your wearing plate armor right?
Joe: Yeah, masterwork plate.
Me: (rolls some dice) Ok. You see a creature about five feet long, laying down, its antennae groping towards you, feeling the air. It has yellowish to rust colored plates, sort of like an exo...
Joe: It's not a rust monster is it... I shut the door.
Me: (rolls dice coming up with a natural 20, for a str check on the door to break it, rolling almost max damage against the door) Joe slams the door, and a few seconds later, something hits it nearly breaking it from the hinges, another hit like that will break the door down.
Travis: Umm.. I get ready to fight to protect the mage.
Michelle: I.. what's a rust monster?
Kerry: I think it rusts stuff, that's why the door was wood.
Travis: A rust monster is Bob's way of taking away some of our gear because we have too much.
Michelle: That's not fair, I quit.
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#88Today at 08:23:46 PM Murometz - "Ms. Hawke shall be riding the roan charger today ladies and gentlemen. She will be going up against The Eagle of Shadows, a hedge knight with grandiose aspirations. Let us observe their demeanors, as they sharpen their lances and get some last minute advice from their squires...back to you Bob!" "Thanks Jim. Now joining me in the broadcast booth is Strolen, the knight who needs no introduction. Tell us, who do you think will be victorious in this clash of lances?"
X Today at 08:29:14 PM Murometz - "Ms. Hawke for those of you who dont know, also goes by the name Knighhawk. So in essence Bob, we have ourselves a Battle of the Birds! HeHeHeh" "Yes, Jim. You used that line at last month's tourney too"
X Today at 08:32:20 PM Murometz - "Tell the folks Strolen, how you see this joust playing itself out" "Wel I--" "We will have to come back to you Strolen, they are sounding the bugels! Dont you just love that sound!?" "Well I--" "Hold that thought Strolen! Here come the combatants! Can you hear them roar!"
X Today at 08:37:38 PM Murometz - "Ooooh! Did you see that Bob?! Thats going to sting!" "Uh, he missed Jim"
X Today at 08:59:32 PM Pariah - "I realize that Bob, I was refering to his wounded pride." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#89In June of 1981, a party of fearless, if vaguely motivated, heroes hacked their way through a nameless monster-infested temple, in a nameless wilderness (Yes, our games featured DEEP role playing). They stood before a door, an ominous portal that their foes MUST have passed through in their flight from the stalwart band.
Dungeon Master: The door is solid and reinforced with iron reinforcements.
Me: My paladin bashes it open!
Dungeon Master: You fall down the flight of stairs behind it and take 18 points of damage!
Me: Oh, man! I only had 3 Hit Points left after fighting the goblins. I'm DEAD!
(An awkward pause follows)
Me: Wait a minute; we were in a room earlier that's right below this one! There weren't any stairs!
(The DM stares confusedly at his map for a while)
DM: Sorry, my mistake. You're right, these stairs lead up. You take 18 points of damage from falling UP the stairs.
(I don't know why I always preferred to DM instead of play...)
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#90I only have one, but it's from last nights game.
So we have our female fighter (cursed: ignores all metal, wearing her old leather armor, armed with two enchanted swords, a long bow, and at least four magical arrows)
and a priest (follower of the God of War & Battles, complete with full plate mail armor, large heater sheild, closed face great helm, and ritual long sword) standing on the edge of an unknown village.
A guard hidden from sight warns them not to enter the village armed. A short whispered discussion insues and a reluctant resolution is found.
As the fighter sets aside her enchanted swords and long bow the priest straps on his shield, draws his not yet blessed weapon, closes his great helm and says.....
"Alright, you disarm and go in, if something bad happens....scream." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#91From a D&D GM named Muro of the Metz, there once was uttered a phrase in response to a Cleric of Trigu who hit every undead he saw with his Exorcism/Turning ability.
"For every season, turn, turn, turn..." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#92From my game last night. A devout follower of Tymora (goddess of fortune - Forgotten Realms AD&D) was warned (by an evil cleric) of the eminient evil he was about to bring down upon his ship. After smashing the presumed evil he consulted with his clerics and was told he may have made a serious mistake. This was the only thing said in retort.
"To ere on the side of caution is always a good way to screw up!"
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#93All I remember is we screwed up on an epic scale and on many levels in the game last night. I'll not add the embarassing details.
We were at the inn, drinking heavily. I was talking with my travel companion (Atherton, a halfling theif) about our options from this point. Things were looking a bit bleak.
Atherton, looking quite glum : Well, I guess we're back to square one...
Kamina (our GM) : Square one? You ARE optimistic, aren't you? -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#94This song was written long ago by a bard player character who suffered from an unhealthy obsession with another character.
"Donnie the great.
Donnie the grand.
When it comes to sex,
He never uses his hand.
He vanquishes evil, left and right.
When answering questions, he's really bright.
When fighting dragons, and other big lizards,
He kills them quickly, stabbing their gizzards.
Donnie,
Donnie
This is the Donnie song.
Donnie is always right, and never wrong.
With Orin The Vanquisher, his really good friend,
They will defeat evil until the end."
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#95"Um. Okay, I can deal with this. I need three hamsters, some nailpolish, and ten bucks."
"You know what? I don't even want to know." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#96I think my PCs are insane.
I offer these completely out of context, as the context makes even less sense:
"I am being very logical about this....at least I think I am"
"If he wakes up and he's dead...... let me know" -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#97And on the newbie front, said by a preist while casting a minor healing spell:
"Mumbo, jumbo, HOLY SYMBOL!" -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#98Thought about an old cyberpunk game today.
"Did you just shoot him?"
"No."
"Bullets cost more money than he is worth. I strangled him."
"Our employer will compliment you on your cost saving efforts."
>>>>>>>>>>>
Ow (comment on where shot) Did you shoot him?
No.
Who shot him then?
He did. It was a terrible accident.
*Looking disbelievingly*
People should hold on to their weapons more carefully.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Did you shoot him? pointing to the bullet riddled corpse.
No. He was a lousy human shield though.
>>>>>>>>>>
"Are you going to shoot me?"
"No."
pause.
"That is what he is around for. "
>>>>>>>>>>>
Please tell me a gun is holstered down there.
>>>>>>>>>>>
Can you get a cyber replacement for your brain?
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#99"Don't worry. We've dealt with him before. If there's one thing I remember, it's that this man is an idiot."
After a trip through a cursed hedge maze set up by someone who didn't quite research the party thouroghly:
"Yah, the hedge monsters were a good try, really. But I'm sorry, they weren't all that scary to us. I mean, we have a pet dragon. Fire breath trumps moving plant every time." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#100"Do you know, I can think of four or five better places to pick a fight in than a town full of strong and very bored miners."
"Oh look, you're melting."
"... Someday, Desh, you're going to go just too damn far and then that pious sumbitch is going to lay the smite on your ass."
*after being chased out of town due to a combination of an overzealous thief and an overamorous bard* "I hate all of you. I really do. Next town we get to, I'm tying you both up and sitting on you all night." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#101"Black-eye? That's a strange name. Do you get punched in the face a lot?"
"No, I've gotten really good at dodging. Now I do the face-punching."
- Briella the druid and Black-eye, Master of the Tiny Fist -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#102My favorite quote happened just recently. The back story here is that our protagonist, Hrothgar the Barbarian, had managed to get himself into the Abyss. Not only that, but after an inordinate amount of layer-jumping he wound up in the middle of a Blood war battlefield (Demons vs Devils on an epic scale). Seeing a huge Devil-run war machine working its way over, he chose to target that, as it was the most impressive.
After a bloody fight to the base of the engine, he started to climb. Unknown to him, the way this machine worked is that the entire thing is morphic metal controlled by the Devil on top. Just as Hrothgar nears the top, after avoiding all manner of horrible ends, the controller notices him and causes the metal to flow around his hands and feet.
Unable to move, our intelligence 6 hero thinks as best he can, and remembers that he has a pet. This pet happens to be a bear that he keeps in his backpack of holding.
Once called, the large cave bear erupts from the backpack, charges the remaining distance to the controller and, with me rolling, scored three critical hits in a row.
From the top of the uncontrolled device, the now free Hrothgar proclaims:
"Strike me down, and my BEAR will become more powerful than you can POSSIBLY IMAGINE!"
And then the uncontrolled machine, fuelled by fear and pain, went berserk and started leveling everything. -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#103After freeing the serpentine God-Wyrm imprisoned within the Godstone (last night's session):
"Well... We saw it coming... We knew what we did, yet it felt so right to do so. We're cold blooded assassins dammit!"
*a minute's pause*
"We shouldn't have beheaded that pretty elf maiden and spilled her blood on the Godstone, should we?"
At least I have ample plot options from now on (they fled from the wyrm) -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#104"Can the cat hold his liquor?"
-Aldous Chalbringer, said of a cat-guy character, in a bar. -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#105This came up while discussing the ubiquitous Crazy Old Man NPC.
"Maybe he's faking the crazy."
"Well, that's the point. Spends all day talking to a shoe and making duck noises, then goes and plots to take over the world. Perfect cover." -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#106The quote is not, in itself, very funny, but put in context...
The party was exploring a long forgotten (at least by the good guys) temple. They encountered a pit in the passageway and decided to jump over it. All went well until the dwarven warrior's turn. He ran and tried to leap across, but failed and fell down the pit. There he was, laying at the bottom of the pit, heavily injured and dying. The others decided something must be done, so they lowered the cleric down on a rope. After healing the dwarf (he was still unconsious, but no longer losing blood), he proceeded to search the bodies. He discovered, amongst other things, a small bottle closed with a cork and containing a red substance. That's when he uttered:
"I open the bottle".
The bottle contained alchemist's fire, an interestng alchemical (really? Wow...) liquidy substance that tends to explode when it touches air. It did so this time. The dwarf began dying once again because of his burns, and the cleric was also burned. -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#107"If we were to plot the distance between where you are right now and the nearest good idea, it would describe a line too big to fit inside the universe."
Math Geeks insult each other. -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#108Kyrian (Echo), speaking to a demon in AuR....
"That's right, it's me you want, you piece of hellish excrement! From what imp's bottom did you emerge, and what did he have to devour to create something as disgusting yet useless? Ha!"
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#109Guys, we REALLY SHOULD STOP AND REST. Several of us are injured, We're out of spells (except a few cantrips) and Tristan looks like 5 miles of bad road. Let's finish this cave at full hp and spells!
Please! I've been in two near TPKs in the last couple of years and both started out looking like this.
~Wulfhere
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#110"If we encounter Mind Worms, I'm leaving."
~Me to our DM a few sessions ago -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#111Murometz: This goes without saying, but once again, I have no idea what you are talking about. -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#112"Did you ever just wanna respawn?"
my young (video) gamer child upon reaching a really badly designed level about to be mobbed. -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#113Found on an RPG.Net sig line for Ravenswing
The Gaming One -
"Call me old-fashioned, but after you're dead, I don't think you should be entitled to a Dodge any more." - my wife
The Internet Ones
"Write what you know, and differentiate between what you know and what you think. Don't try to pass off personal speculation as the truth. Don't hand out the chips on your shoulder and call them facts." - John Mangrum
It isn't that I don't understand what you're saying. It's that I don't AGREE with what you're saying. The distinction can't be all THAT difficult to comprehend, surely?
ANSWER: You have an honest, open discussion of your grievances, like grownups do, stating what's wrong in a calm, civil fashion, and see if you can work out a mutually acceptable solution. QUESTION: What's the magic bullet answer that if everyone memorized would eliminate a full tenth of Open's threads?
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#114Scrasamax:
Tonight on TLC: Titans and Tiaras, Dragon Hoard Wars, My Big Fat Goblin Wedding, and Are You Smarter than a 5th Level City Guardsman? -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#115Some more SIG LINES I LIKE>
Evil isn't grand and powerful and liberating; evil is weak and afraid. ~ Old Geezer@RPG.NET
Related: "Satan appears only a few times in canon proper, falls into a pit, and lives on forever in the fanfic because some people think he's all badass and dangerous. He's Boba Fett." - Smoot@PRG.NET
You don't fix humanity like it's a broken leg. You fix it like you brush your teeth every night, cleaning out the icky stuff over and over again.
But it always, always grows back. ~ SteveD@RPG.NET
As in so many things, the trick is to know what the hell you are doing, and why. ~ Princess Stacey@RPG.NET
And my favorite... perhaps of all time......
This is a forum board. We talk about things here. We ask questions, we give answers, we ramble, we muse, we discuss. Anything and everything you post is subject to the same process as everyone else's posts. You felt it acceptable to post your views. Thereby, it is acceptable for us to post our views about your views (within the rules of the site). –Sunrunner@rpg.net
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Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#116"I strap the trash can to my head. If a green slime drops in it, I'm putting the lid on." - Hivar Grapopulos (aka Forganthus) -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#117This is the last time we use sheep as lock-picks. -Aerex Matare (aka Dozus) -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#118"Rune. Magic words. Maul. Weasel. Miss. Next!"
--My fourth turn (in a row) last session with unsuccessful to-hit rolls -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#119His quarry was fleeing. Kyrian would have none of that. Right after his strike, he surged past the ogres, towards Borgradoc. "Let me turn you red, Werepig of Feculent Hue!"- Echomirage -
Re: Favorite Game Quotes
#120Various Gaming T-Shirts
1)
Everything is better with G.O.D.*
Lower *Game Operations Designer
2)
Keep calm and roll your dice.
3)
Keep calm and take your turn
4)
Keep calm and roleplay.