Favorite Game Quotes

1. Favorite Game Quotes

   #1

   From in game, that is. My own, obviously, is in my .sig...
   
   ...The story behind it is convulted, by suffice that the players had managed to anger the God of Violent Death, War, Cruelty, and Pain. After managing to heroically drive the god off the mortal plane to his own realm once again, the players notice that he left his titanic two-handed bastard sword made of blacksteel and etched with blood-red runes embedded in the middle of the battlefield...
   
   ...So one player goes and announces that he's going to grab it. And gets fried by the god's raw anger, funnelled through the sword via a divine connection.
   
   Needless to say, the player in question is more cautious about seizing random battlefield items left behind by powerful enemies.

2. Favorite Game Quotes

   #2

   "Now I'm inside the dragon I'm going to start hacking at the stomach walls."
   
   The player succeeded in killing the dragon, but died shortly afterwards of oxygen deprivation.

3. Favorite Game Quotes

   #3

   "Oh... you're one of those..."
   One of the members in a party I'm currently with is insane, and quite obviously so. THis is because he is of a magical discipline that, while powerful, inevitably drives it's practitioners mad. This is, of course, common knowledge. So any NPC that meets this character eventually say this.

4. Favorite Game Quotes

   #4

   This comment needs some setting up. In my game, there is a rather random, very comical event that happens occasionally called the Dwarf Conspiracy. The dwarves of the Dwarf Conspiracy are trying to make five of every single being in the multiverse because they believe that the evil Other Ones are going to wipe it clean of all life. They have a magical cavern fortress that they think will protect them from the Other Ones.Unfortunately, the Dwarf Conspirators are ridiculously stupid and inept and always get it wrong. One of my player's characters got stump-drunk and was picked up by the Dwarf Conspirators and made to mate with a sandwich.
   
   "You wake up with a splitting head-ache, water dripping in your face. You are in a dark cave, the only light coming from a tunnel in the wall. There's a smashed sandwich in front of you. You don't remember anything from the night before after your eleventh drink."
   "I want to grab the sandwich and eat."
   "No you don't."
   "Yes I do."
   "Allright, you eat the sandwich, but there's some mighty strange mayonnaise on it."

5. Favorite Game Quotes

   #5

   Ew.
   
   That kind of puts a yucky twist on the next one I was going to post which is a maxim my players now have when encountering something new, exciting or unusual. Bear in mind, this is ENTIRELY INNOCENT!
   
   "Don't poke it!"

6. Favorite Game Quotes

   #6

   Yeah...I apologize for that comment. It was kind of juvenile. But it was so funny at the time! (By the way, the unfortunate sandwich eater was our friend, PriatePenguin)

7. Favorite Game Quotes

   #7

   "Aggh! I am the godsd@mned Queen of Thieves, and I can't even untie my ow f-ing hands!"
   This was a character that I had in high school. She was the greatest living thief in the kingdom. Locks meant nothing to her. Knots, on the other hand, were a different matter entirely.
   
   "I'm mad, not stupid."
   Same character, who was also more or less insane. In one of her more lucid moments, someone asked her to do something that would have been suicidal.
   
   "See, no. You don't get to play with time."
   This was a character that was, for lack of a better description, an uber-mage. Time and physics were his playthings. The above was said to a doppelganger clone that had tried to pass himself off as the mage. And later tried to go against him in a magic duel. Which leads to the next:
   
   "Awww... He's so stoopid."
   This was a catch-all quote. For some reason, enemies consistently underestimated us.
   
   "Oog."
   This is a personal favorite, and actually spans multiple characters. This is said after waking up after being clonked on the head, or having a few too many.
   
   "That which does not kill you makes you stronger. Having an outlaw for a friend will certainly do one or the other."
   The outlaw in question was a very much wanted assassin with demon wannabes on her tail.
   
   "Come, my trusted friend. Let us go turn the bad guy's hideout into a parking lot."
   I honestly don't remember the situation, except that it was a very annoyed Shadowrunner who said it.

8. Favorite Game Quotes

   #8

   This phrase i saw it in a movie from Athilla the Hun and i have remembered it ever since. A roman comes to ones of Atthilla's cities and said:
   "This city is very beautiful, but civilization is for for the civilized".

9. Favorite Game Quotes

   #9

   I need to explain a little about the situation.
   
   I'm currently a part of a dragonstar game. With the exception of the PCs, everyone on the flagship is either incompetnent of stupid(something of a reflection of the DM's personality). Our Captain will say this after the exceptionally stupid events.
   
   "Riiight. I'm going to punch you now."
   
   My favorite quote of all time belong to Monty Python:
   "NO ONE expects the SPANISH INQUISITION!!!" :mrgreen:

10. some quotes

    #10

    ok here are some of my favorites:
    
    " I can't hear them scream , but at least i don't have to listem to them beg " - Phage the untouchable
    
    "Those who live by the sword will die by the sword."
    
    "We have ways to make you talk , but you have nothing interesting to say"

11. Favorite Game Quotes

    #11

    This is a phrase that i heard not long ago:
    Light a man a fire and he will be warm for hours,
    Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

12. Favorite Game Quotes

    #12

    "I would very much like to blow before the cops show up. Again."
    This was said by a Shadowrunner I play. She's wanted in two states for murder (which she didn't commit), and the group she with just annhilated a death-robot. Of course it had a failsafe which reduced a city block to cinders. The previous encounter involved a shootout, more explosions, and the destruction of a tavern.
    
    A little later, with the same character:
    "Okay. Having established that everyone's alive, I suggest that we run like hell now. My desire to meet the cops is only slightly greater than my desire to swallow flaming rats. In other words, less than zero."
    
    A different character, same game:
    "Can I please shoot her now?"
    
    Ah, the smell of death and destruction in the wee hours of the morning...

13. Favorite Game Quotes

    #13

    "Congrats. You have demon-babies."
    -- Said by the party theif to a horror possesed Earthdawn character of mine. Little explanation required, I hope.
    
    Perhaps one of the more memorable campaigns I've been in, however, was a Shadowrun game in which my character was a Catholic Priest... with hermetic magic and, unknown to the party, a left cyber arm, complete with internal shotgun. In one particularly nasty situation, we had the party trog stand in the middle of a doorway, SMG in each hand, going full auto. It turned out that the best way for my character to add to the fight was to kneel down, and fire his cyber-gun between the troll's legs. While he was able to connect the muzzle flash and barrel report about six inches beneath his crotch with 'Father Max', he wasn't able to connect it with anything he knew about his priestly friend. Therefore, he looked down, and asked simply, "What spell that?"
    My reply was to grin upwards, and reply, "Leadbolt."
    "Trog like Leadbolt."
    
    Later in that same campaign, after an incident with an oriental fire-mage and a fryer, came the line, "I grab the deepfried werewolf and run."

14. Favorite Game Quotes

    #14

    "All Your base Are belong to Us"
    
    "SomeBody set us up the Bomb"

15. Favorite Game Quotes

    #15

    Now, this requires a little explanation. I once had the misfortune to run a game with a player who turned out to be a bloodthirsty and semi-homicidal loon. The party (at level 1, mind you) had just set out to see if they could find some bandits. As they left town, they ran into an old man. This is the following conversation.
    
    Me: You see an old man on the path. He looks tired and a little worse for wear.
    Player: Is he armed?
    Me: Um, not that you can see.
    Player: I attack him.
    Me: Uh... You don't want to do that.
    Player: Yes I do. I attack.
    Me: I'm telling you, you don't want to do that.
    Player: Well, I'm going to.
    Me: *sigh* You lunge at the old man. He moves out of the way much faster than it seems like he should be able to.
    (Now, that should have tipped off the player. But no.)
    Player: I attack again!
    Me: Again the old man dodges. He says, "I wouldn't do that again, if I were you. You'll make me lose my patience."
    Player: I insult his family and attack again.
    Me: This time, he doesn't dodge. But before you reach him, a swirling, sparkling mist seems to surround him. It only lasts a moment, then there's a flash of light. Your sword bounces off of dragonscale.
    Player: ... What?
    Me: You look up, and where the old man was is now a very large gold dragon.
    Player: Uh huh.
    
    To make a long story short, the dragon stepped on the offending party member. The group had to spend most of the advance cash they had gotten to heal the character. Now, the thing is, the old man/dragon was a character I had created weeks before the game started. He was an ancient gold dragon who routinely polymorphed himself into human form. However, I have never been able to convince the player of that. He thought I did it because he was trying to kill an NPC. He eventually stopped playing with me. I think that's a good thing.

16. Favorite Game Quotes

    #16

    "The Authors name is I.P. Winkleman, and he has written other such books as: "Running with Short Swords." & "The History of Ladders part 1" Obviously a nut-case... "
    :lol:

17. Favorite Game Quotes

    #17

    Bloodthristy players. I know that problem. One of my own players, also at level one, decided to kill and other one in the middle of a town square in broad daylight. Needless to say he was seen, as the villagers sent a different PC to hunt him down. When they did get him, his god got a message through to him first and hit him hard with blue lightning (literally) just before the Innkeeper praticed the theory of "an eye for an eye".
    
    Let this be a lesson to all. Beware what you do when you worship colors, PARTICULARLY when your DM is an avid video game player.

18. Favorite Game Quotes

    #18

    Uh....Please explain that and it's relevance, Fiokar. I have no idea what that could mean, nor what it could be in reference to.

19. Favorite Game Quotes

    #19

    See Ria Hawk's last post. I'll try to keep on topic from here on in.

20. Favorite Game Quotes

    #20

    Ok, but I still don't get the thing about color worship...

21. Favorite Game Quotes

    #21

    Just to be different, two of the players decided that their deity would be the color blue. They didn't think that I would actually go as far as to create a real deity that would be watching their movements. I decided to base the deity off of the charater Blue from Saga Frontier (a playstation game), and made him a lawful goodish person. Blue, by the way, is out to kill his twin brother Rouge, and thus hates the color red.
    
    When the charaters went chaotic evil, that was the equivelent(sp?) of them becoming red in the god's eyes and the rest is history.
    
    Does that help?

22. Favorite Game Quotes

    #22

    Yes. And I have played Saga Frontier. Interesting game, yes. Ever played Breath of Fire 3 or 4?

23. Favorite Game Quotes

    #23

    I was unaware of any after the 2nd...
    **Runs off to look into these games**

24. Favorite Game Quotes

    #24

    Duilwen, they've also released Breath of Fire 5: Dragon Quarter

25. Favorite Game Quotes

    #25

    'Fraid I haven't had the pleasure just yet. Why?

26. Favorite Game Quotes

    #26

    There are 5? I thought there were only 2

27. Favorite Game Quotes

    #27

    You should try the Breath of Fire series. It's one of the best videogame series ever. It concerns an ancient dragon clan and all that.

28. Favorite Game Quotes

    #28

    where can you find 3-5?

29. Favorite Game Quotes

    #29

    Go to your nearest vidya' game store. Anyway, on the subject of favorite quotes from my roleplaying
    
    "I'M RANDY FROM THE HUNT!"-A satyr
    
    "Don't stare at Dwarfmonk while he's changing! Dwarfmonk likes it not, he don't!"-Dwarfmonk
    
    "Don't touch me, you bizzare in-bred hedge wizard!"-Luc
    
    "Why hello, Evil Lord of Ultimate Darkness and Death Zobulax!"-Asherak

30. Favorite Game Quotes

    #30

    "It's a little known fact that all robots are built around a single grenade" - Drecker, ADVENTURERS!
    
    "Just gold!? I don't need gold!"
    "How terrible."
    "I know! Why couldn't it be an accessory or something."
    "God forbid that a tresure chest actually contain TREASURE."
    -Karn and Ardam, ADVENTURERS!

31. Favorite Game Quotes

    #31

    "Lieutenant Thoma, Corporal Asgard's hitting me!"
    "Dammit, if you Dogheads don't stop fighting, I'm coming back there and kicking you out of the dropship myself!"-Private Dunzen and Lieutenant Thoma, Deadspace

32. Favorite Game Quotes

    #32

    "Look, do you want the horrible eldritch beast of madness or not?"-Luc, the Esper
    
    "Uh-oh! Too bad for you! Dwarfmonk's taking off his pants! That means pissed off he be!"-Dwarfmonk, the Dwarven Monk
    
    "If you touch me again, I'll teleport you into low Khoril orbit."-Asherak, Sorceror Extroardinare
    
    "Forgive me, oh great Green God! I have turned Goblins into ash that was not green!"-Blaztik, Priest of the Green God

33. Favorite Game Quotes

    #33

    "prepare to lose your 2 best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago!" -Dark Helmet: Spaceballs

34. Favorite Game Quotes

    #34

    That one should be in "Favorite Movie Quotes".

35. Favorite Game Quotes

    #35

    ya, well I got a little confused.

36. Favorite Game Quotes

    #36

    Always remember: the optimal way to kill something is the way which presents least danger to you.
    
    "I was born close to the ground and I will stay close to the ground. Thank you very much." - Doublelock, gnomish rogue and kleptomaniac. Hated heights.
    
    "I like shiny things." - Doublelock
    
    "Keep your hands the hell off of my clothes." - Delia Siannodel, half-elven bard. She was in the same party as Doublelock, and had silver buttons on her clothes. No more explanation required, I should hope.
    
    "Don't make me call a lightning bolt down on your ass." - Merrinjal, Vah Shir shaman (Vah Shir are cat people, if you didn't know) She didn't have much patience, and the enchanter annoyed her more than he did everyone else.
    
    "What's this barrel full of? Oh, it's beer. I guess I could pour it out..."
    "BLASPHEMY!" - Monk and Alex the Dwarven cleric
    
    "Sixty damage."
    "It says ouch."
    "I'm thinking we should run away now." - Dwarf paladin and GM
    
    "I'll have one of those!"
    "Uh, Cinnamon, that just put two dwarves on the floor." - Cinnameron the gnomish enchanter and Merrinjal. Cinnameron was overfond of alcohol. Upon reaching a tavern, the dwarves ordered the strongest thing available, and after one drink, they passed out. And, added note, we could never remember his name, so we always called him Cinnamon.
    
    "I eat it." - Levi, the Ixxar monk (Ixxar are lizard people) If it was organic and not moving, he'd eat it. Sometimes he wasn't that picky.
    
    "You is an ugly." - a very, very stupid orc, who mistook a human rogue for an orc
    
    "I throw the gnome." - Willa Killsmash, barbarian warrior/shaman. She said that more often than you would expect.
    
    "It's not that big of a deal. If we run into something that'll stomp us, we just gate the hell out of here, and come back later."
    "I can't gate."
    "... Sucks to be you, then." - Gnome enchanter and Sasha the human thief
    
    "Hey, if we're in a publicly accessible prison, my dad's a freaking pirate." - Sasha
    
    "I fail to see why you need a thief."
    "We wanted your father, not you."
    "Take it up with the Freeport City Gaurd." - Sasha and the mayor of a halfling town
    
    "Oh lovely. Here we are, trying to stop someone that the gods themselves fear." - Sasha

37. Favorite Game Quotes

    #37

    "Remember, the best solution to any problem is to throw it."
    "Oh, okay."
    --Later--
    "The Imperial's slaves are cowering on the floor. When you look at them, they hide their faces."
    "I throw them!" -Luc, the Esper
    
    "Dwarfmonk no gots a Storm Fang! Why Dwarfmonk doesn't have a Storm Fang he don't? Dwarfmonk needs his insurance!" -Dwarfmonk, the Dwarven Monk
    
    "Get back, Dwarfmonk! This is MY STORM FANG!" -Asherak, Sorceror Extraordinare
    
    "I pick it up and shout 'Look what I found!'"
    "I'll go check it out."
    "He's holding some sort of egg. It's black and iridescent, and it's steaming."
    "Oh, gods. Luc, what have I told you about picking up strange eggs?" -Luc the Esper, Asherak, Sorceror Extraordinare, and GM

38. Favorite Game Quotes

    #38

    This is a series of quotes from everybody's favorite invincible orc, Grob!
    
    "Grob cold!"
    --Turns head to reveal giant sword sticking through his eye--
    "Er...Grob, are you feeling allright?"
    "NO! Grob just said he is cold! Why you no get it?!" -Grob and Gladfield the Halfling.
    
    "Grob falliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!" -Grob falling off a mountain.
    
    "Why you still staring at Grob?! Grob no like! MAKE GROB MAD!" -Grob getting mad.
    
    "Grob found cave, but little man no get cave because little man is STUPID!" -Grob finding a warm cave to sleep in.

39. Favorite Game Quotes

    #39

    DM:"There's a small 3 foot tall pyrimid 100 yards away, you notice that there are 4 different symbols on the sides. What do you do?"
    Tod:" Do I recognize any of the symbols?"
    DM:"Yes, the cleric wears on of the symbols on a chain around his neck"
    Vlad:"I pick up the cleric and toss him head first into that side of the pyrimid."
    DM:"Congradulations you have just suceeded in pissing off the cleric!"
    (or something like that, it was too long ago but we all laughed and such)
    
    Brother Brotha':"Praise be to... (brotha' searches for a specific religous symbol that hangs from his neck) uhhh... THIS ONE!"
    
    (Brother Brotha has like 50+ symbols that hang from his neck and he's always praying to one of them.)

40. Favorite Game Quotes

    #40

    From Dragon Magazine:
    
    Darkmantle Barbarian: Door! (Fails to bash open door) Not door?

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