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Humorous Links
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Re: Humorous Links
#121Give it a try here http://www.andkon.com/arcade/other/lineriderbeta2/ couldn't find a link on that page. Might have missed it though. MUCH harder than it looks. -
Re: Humorous Links
#124http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/07/web20_for_developers/
If you have time to step away from the iPhone, have a little giggle as "Verity Snob" has a piece on How to be an instant Web me-2.0 developer that includes the documented Web version numbers:
* Web 1.0: Programming model equivalent to that of a slightly up-market 3270 terminal. Forms are filled in with the sequence: tab tab tab tab tab tab bonk.
* Web 1.00001: The beginning of the rich web experience: the first ever, primitive Javascript code fragment is written. It generates an unwanted popup, and snaffles your credit card details.
* Web 1.1: No visible difference from Web 1.0, apart from IE showing the text 'Javascript error' in its status bar.
* Web 1.2: Standard buttons are upgraded with smart 3D-looking GIFs. These react to mouseover events by bobbing up and down politely over their drop shadows. Remember when we were excited by this sort of scriptery? (None of your CSS cleverness then.) It seems so quaint now. It makes me want to cry, thinking about the good old days of ugly web pages loading slowly.
* Web 1.3: When you get to the home page of a V1.2 site with FireFox, it displays badly. When you go to a V1.3 website such as www.fdms.com with FireFox, it tells you to eff off and get IE. (These traditionalists in fact would seem to prefer it if you used IE4.) The age of 'you aren't good enough for our website' has begun, reaching full fruition at Web 1.5, see below.
* Web 1.4: Basic client-side validation added. Forms are filled in with the sequence: tab tab tab tab tab What do you mean 'invalid post code' you bloody thing? The dread phrase 'next generation of 3d smileys' is encountered for the very first time.
* Web 1.5: Home page preceded by Flash animation designed by the man who thought (wrongly) he should have been asked to do the title sequence for the next Bond movie. In practice, this means the user stares at an animated 'Please wait' sign for half a minute, then goes somewhere else.
* Web 1.6: Date fields come with a little popup calendar to help you enter a valid date. Because of the differences in the box model as implemented by IE4, the Ok button is position beyond the edge of calendar's window, and it is impossible to use it to enter a date.
* Web 1.7: The presence of extra code interferes with the standard function of browser controls. Clicking the back button, instead of taking you back to the previous phase on the corporate workflow site so that you could point out the bug to your team leader, abruptly dumps you on the money-shot page of the gentleman's entertainment website that Porno Pete from accounts was showing you earlier on. You say.
* Web 1.8: Web pages at this level cannot be made to run on Windows Server 2003, no matter how many 'trusted zones' you add them to, nor how much you attempt to override Internet Explorer's Enhanced Security Configuration.
* Web 1.9: You stumble upon Desktop Tower Defense one lunchtime, and are surprised when you look up from the screen with tired, gummy eyes to notice that it has suddenly become tomorrow. But at least you have got your world ranking up to 912,417.
* Web 2.0: At last! You can get a fully fledged mail client in your browser. Now, wherever you are in the world, whatever time of day, without the need for your own PC, you are no more than a few minutes away from a screen that reads "Oops, something has gone wrong; we're sorry, try again in a few minutes".
Verity then goes on to discuss the Evolution of the programming model, What does the P in LAMP stand for?, We should pause to consider Ruby on Rails, and finally AJAX for a cleaner kitchen.
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Re: Humorous Links
#125Outsmart your opponents or bash their brains in? That is the question. Or used to be the question, until some moron invented THIS! Now you can do both.
:lol:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080716/ap_on_re_eu/chess_boxing
Rd 1: "Using Schlemmindinger's Seventh Defense, I will easily lure this bloke into my trap. After castling, queen-side, and moving into position, I will Zwischenzung him when he least expects it!"
Rd 5: "Hmm, I feel slightly dizzy and disoriented for some reason. Whose turn is it anyway?"
Rd 10: "Pretty, pretty pieces. Why can't I grab one?"
Rd 12: "Cheth hurts." -
Re: Humorous Links
#126http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U
and follow up with this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-kSZsvBY-A -
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#127Cows With Guns
http://www.youtube.com/v/FQMbXvn2RNI -
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#128[img width=400 height=133]http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/striphandler.ashx?stripid=2825d78f-a422-4c9c-9a71-b29c671f7779 -
Re: Humorous Links
#129Oh, Gisele... now that was painful fun.
More painful fun:
http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/wall street jpeg.JPG -
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#130[img width=400 height=138]http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/striphandler.ashx?stripid=50a1cdaa-9d09-40fc-949e-72bb5669d229 -
Re: Humorous Links
#131[img width=400 height=138]http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/striphandler.ashx?stripid=b1a038ba-e6ca-4f8f-9af3-533de482bca0 -
Re: Humorous Links
#132http://www.christian-thinktank.com/comic.html
How many Danielic late-daters does it take to change a light bulb?
They absolutely refuse to do it. They realized that no matter how good a job they did, someone, somewhere, sometime later would assert they they didnt do it at all (in spite of all their hard work)--and that the story of them changing the light bulb was a later literary fiction, made to look like ancient history. They realized that no matter what kind of bulb they used (e.g., flourescent, incandescent, energy-saving, UV, sunlamp) someone would argue that there was no evidence that that kind of bulb was used in that apartment complex at that time...and that therefore the story must be historically false...So, they refused to do it and walked out...man, am I glad the apartment builders weren't that smart!--i'd be sleeping in the rain...
How many Danielic late-daters does it take to change a light bulb?
Not sure we will ever know. They are hesitating about taking the job. They expressed worry that someone might later take their description of the work they performed, and make it look like a prophecy that they were going to do it (and the invoice would look like they pre-charged for the services, which is illegal in our locale...a sort of invoicium pre eventu).
How many Danielic late-daters does it take to change a light bulb?
I can't get them to take my request seriously. I called them up last week (after trying unsuccessfuly for years to get the people described below to do it!) They asked me how long it had been in need of repair, and I told them six years (since I started the ThinkTank), and they said 'impossible'. They said that the only evidence they had that it was burned out was from my phone call (then in progress), so that today's date was the only one they could use in determining when the bulb was actually burned out. And, since it had apparently only been burned out for a few minutes (according to their 'logic'), they would have to prioritize their repairs on the basis of more urgent outages at other residences. I honestly TRIED to explain about how it apparently burned out when the resident was on vacation, and that they didnt discover it for months later (the light is in the corner of the attic), and that they didn't even report it for months later (when they finally needed the light), and that I had called (unsuccessfully) many other people before them, and that their firm's name only appeared in the last edition of the phone book, etc...but they refused to allow any of this to make them re-date their 'it only burned out today' estimate...But at least I'm in their datebook now, so maybe, in a couple of years...
How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?
Unfortunately, I cannot get them to act. I show them the Maintenance Request Form, from the tenant, requesting the change, but they dismiss it as being a 'pious fraud' created by big and powerful lightbulb companies who think bulbs should be replaced BEFORE they burn out...
How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?
I still cannot get them to take the Request Form seriously! This time they decided that it could not be authentic since the request had come from the new apartment 10A and there were no prior incidences of this at all. They concluded that someone must have borrowed the form from some OTHER apartment, and simply put the request "on the lips of the tenant in 10A"...
How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?
I still cannot get them to act! This time they dismissed the darkness as a 'late apocalyptic image' that obviously was being appropriated to describe something much less severe, like indigestion or something.
How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?
I still cannot get them to act! This time they said that there PROBABLY had been some flicker in a bulb somewhere (or maybe a diming of light from a cloud passing overhead), but that the oral tradition behind the Maintenance Request Form had developed so freely that it was now historically impossible to find the actual apartment in which the problem PERHAPS showed up, and that we could not even be sure that it had occured in THIS landlord's tenure.
How many Form critics does it take to change a light bulb?
I still cannot get them to take the Maintenance Request Form seriously! This time they detected a 'contradiction' that was a sure sign of inauthenticity. They summarily dismissed the Form with the remark that "If the light bulb had been burned out, the tenant would not have been able to see to fill out the Form, silly! And arguing that they went into another room would be 'special pleading' or 'harmonization' of the most tendentious nature!"...go figure... -
Re: Humorous Links
#133In that vein
[img width=400 height=138]http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/striphandler.ashx?stripid=6541a892-d422-4a41-ab03-6b85ec699ed3 -
Re: Humorous Links
#134Dave Barry does it again, writing a summary of the last year. Read it in its entirety and enjoy.
(August)
In yet another troubling economic indicator, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac rob a liquor store.
Internationally, the big story is the Olympic games, which begin under a cloud of controversy when journalists in Beijing, who were promised unfettered Internet access by the Chinese government, discover that no matter what address they enter into their browsers, they wind up on Chairman Mao's Facebook page (he has 1.3 billion friends). But even the critics are blown away by the spectacular opening ceremony, which features the entire population of Asia performing the Electric Slide.
The games themselves are dominated by swimmer Michael Phelps, who wins eight gold medals, thus putting himself on a sounder financial footing than the U.S. Treasury. China wins the gold-medal count, although critics charge that some of China's 11-year-old female gymnasts are under the minimum age of 16. Chinese officials refute this charge by noting, correctly, that they have tanks.
Elsewhere abroad, war breaks out between Russia and Georgia over South Ossetia and Abkhazia, serving as a stark reminder that, in an increasingly uncertain world, we, as Americans, have no idea where these places are. -
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#135Good one, manfred! -
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#136A now for a more classical fun: Mac vs PC, this time for real.
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=uLbJ8YPHwXM -
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#137http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/88713-Star-Wars-Retold-by-Someone-Who-Never-Saw-It
great for anyone who knows anything about star wars. -
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#138That's...wow. I don't even have a funny link to respond with. Just...wow. -
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#139I laughed so hard that I have tears running down my face. I think I might have hurt myself -
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#140[img width=400 height=138]http://www.wulffmorgenthaler.com/striphandler.ashx?stripid=674598d6-6a8d-4358-ac42-0c2227fc3bcf -
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#141Tickle me Emo:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7IxliAPjAk -
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#142The Monty Python's declare the following (from here):
"For 3 years you YouTubers have been ripping us off, taking tens of thousands of our videos and putting them on YouTube. Now the tables are turned. It's time for us to take matters into our own hands.
We know who you are, we know where you live and we could come after you in ways too horrible to tell. But being the extraordinarily nice chaps we are, we've figured a better way to get our own back: We've launched our own Monty Python channel on YouTube.
No more of those crap quality videos you've been posting. We're giving you the real thing - HQ videos delivered straight from our vault.
What's more, we're taking our most viewed clips and uploading brand new HQ versions. And what's even more, we're letting you see absolutely everything for free. So there!
But we want something in return.
None of your driveling, mindless comments. Instead, we want you to click on the links, buy our movies & TV shows and soften our pain and disgust at being ripped off all these years."
Here be their channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MontyPython -
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#143So, me and MJS were out whaling and these fucks destroyed EVERYTHING! Curse you Spock!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYHfJks15jY -
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#144[img width=400 height=258]http://www.comicvsaudience.net/images/flow_heavymetal.jpg -
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#145Strolen's cat?
http://img245.imageshack.us/img245/430/beta163ps8.gif -
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#146Strolen kicking arse:
[img width=400 height=228]http://dontclickthis.whatingods.name/faceplant.gif -
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#147And this one is actually a little like me:
http://img249.imageshack.us/img249/383/alizeeanimph7.gif -
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#148Anyone ever puzzled by the large hadron collider?
Here is the scientific explanation for dummies:
[img width=380 height=400]http://www.fohguild.org/forums/attachments/screenshots/51473d1191008799-funny-strange-random-pics-scientist-ask-jump.jpg -
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#149I see your LHC, and raise you an "unneccesary complications."
[img width=400 height=320]http://d.furaffinity.net/art/skandrake/1233686789.skandrake_unnecessary_complications.jpg -
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#150Complications for sure! -
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#151Well, some public schools could do worse: Lovecraftian School Board Member Wants Madness Added To Curriculum
"Our schools are orderly, sanitary places where students dwell in blissful ignorance of the chaos that awaits," West said. "Should our facilities be repaired? No, they must be razed to the ground and rebuilt in the image of the Cyclopean dwellings of the Elder Gods, the very geometry of which will drive them to be possessed by visions of the realms beyond."
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#152"Artist's rendering of the Cthulhu, a hideous demon borne of pure malice that fewer than 3 percent of high school sophomores can identify."
Gee, that American education is really miserable. :D -
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#153http://www.theonion.com/content/video/experts_agree_giant_razor_clawed -
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#154Uncomfortable Plot Summaries
Some are hilarious, some strike too close for comfort indeed. Some are just mean... and many are all of it. See for yourself. -
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#155 -
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#156All beware of the attacking squirrels:
Trigger Happy T.V- Sqirrel Attack
In other news, American schools trail behind in aptitude of child soldiers:
Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers -
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#157What's on Earth tonight?
Courtesy of Strange Maps, a practical schema of what our alien neighbors see if they tune in to our primitive television signals. Look and see if anyone of them will ever choose to contact us. :D
The first tv images of World War II are about to hit Aldebaran star system, 65 light years away. If there?s anybody out there alive and with eyes to see it, the barrage of actual and dramatised footage of WW2 will keep them shocked and/or entertained for decades to come. Which is just as well, for they?ll have to wait quite a few years to catch the first episodes of such seminal series as The Twilight Zone and Bonanza (both 1959), just about now hitting the (putative) extraterrestrial biological entities of the Mu Arae area (appr. 50 ly). The Cosby Show, Miami Vice and Night Court (all 1984) should be all the rage on Fomalhaut (25 ly). Meanwhile, the sentient, tv-watching creatures near Alpha Centauri (4.4 ly), our closest extrasolar star, are just recovering from the infamous ?wardrobe malfunction? during Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake?s halftime show during the 2004 Superbowl.
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#159Somebody's got to put an end to this, and the first protests are already starting:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/advocacy_group_decries_petas#id97306
Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women -
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#160Found another page with pointless posters!
[img width=400 height=225]http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/celebrity-pictures-orlando-bloom-made-china.jpg
[img width=336 height=400]http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/celebrity-pictures-donald-pleasence-kitties-love.jpg?w=450&h=536
...and so on. Enjoy.