A toilet that teleports your feces onto the PottyPortal's Poop Hill.
'Are you tired of having to go all the way outside to go to the bathroom? Do you wish you had a toilet inside, but the stench would be too much? Well, the solution is here! The PottyPortal is a low-cost toilet that teleports your urine and feces onto our Poop Hill, where we deal with it. No more leaving the warmth of your homes to go to the bathroom. No more trudging through the elements to do a simple task. Simply go to the indoor bathroom, and do what you had to do!'
The PottyPortal is a cylinder, with a seat like that of a modern day toilet. It has a portal about a foot beneath the rim, which teleports the feces and urine to the PottyPortal's poop hill. The term 'hill,' though, captures the wrong image. Usually, the poop company will dig a pit for the poop. After two years of use, the hole full of poop will be covered off with the old dirt, making a hill.
Throughout the year, the PottyPortal manufacturers sell the poop. Though most city folk have no use, or any inclination to use, their feces, farmers, tanners, and other such groups. This creates a neat cycle, especially for the farmers; the farmers send crops to the cities, the cities convert it to poop, and the poop is uses to grow more crops.
Some PottyPortal manufacturers use earth or crap golems to guard these hills. Sometimes, valuable objects are hidden at the bottom (or the top) in airtight containers by nearby agencies. It is the perfect system; who would want to go for a swim in poop and urine, while fighting off golems of whichever type? As such, sometimes the companies selling PottyPortal's are paid to store such treasures discreetly in the current Poop Hill.
Scrolls
Twists, chapters, and details meant to stream with the submission — not general discussion.
No scrolls yet — leave one if you have a twist worth keeping.
Sign in to plant an idea scroll.
Enjoyed this? Sign in and cross blades for caesar193 — five clashes, up to 25 XP.
Sign in to cross the blades.
Discussion
Reader talk, questions, and feedback — not scrolls.
No comments yet — be the first voice in the hall.
Sign in to join the discussion.
Retellings
No Retellings yet — the best compliment on the Citadel is a Retelling.
Bonds
Curated bonds across the Citadel — sign in to bind a bond. Kindred Favors are another thread in the same weave.
Links to this article 1
- The Commoner's Tools Alongside caesar193 linked by caesar193
Use alongside
Submissions that pair well with this one at the table.
-
Carpenter's Ring
Made for a wealthy carpenter to ease his workload, those that have it can find other uses for it. Used to cut perfect holes in wood or create wood doll rods.
-
Everlasting Chalk
Need to know which way you took in the maze? Mark your path with chalk.
Leaving a message on the wall for your sleeping lover? Write it in chalk.
Got a …
-
Dungeoneer's flashlight
If you don't already know about this classic innovation, you really need to.
Used by farmers, you say? Sounds like a wizard collecting material for a specialized form of golem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEdOqYEwcT8
I've heard there are some impressive shitstorms over poop hill.
Fun.
Reminds me of a certain chamber pot..
I think this is good enough to be a normal idea and get some votes! LOL
Update: Acting on Strolen's advice, the PottyPortal is now a normal sub. I also added a bit about use and treasure. Have at it, voters.
I'll bite.
Eww, gross!