Items · Wand/Staff/ Arcane · Magical

Never-Burning Torch

Why won't this damn torch light?

190 xp 4,025 views

An Ordinary Torch?
A normal-looking wooden torch. It is slightly cool, and maybe a little rotted, but it should light fine.

What? It won't? Well, it should...

Magical Properties of a Never-Burning Torch
The Never-Burning Torch is a wonderful tool for anyone who needs to stick their hand in a fire. The wooden stick is absolutely immune to heat and flame, and grants this protection to almost everything within one foot of it.

The only thing that it does not grant this amazing protection to is actual normal wood. That will burn as usual.

Uses for a Never-Burning Torch
If ever you need to punch something on fire, simply clench it in your fist and punch away! You won't even singe your knuckle hairs.

If you fear the scalding power of hot coffee, all you need to do is stick a Never-Burning Torch in your belt. Feel free to challenge your friends to throw boiling water at your crotch.

Get a bunch of these, cover yourself in them, and walk unafraid into that portal to the Land of Elemental Fire. I hope it works on Elemental Fire... We haven't tested that yet.

How can I get a Never-Burning Torch?
I would like to say it's easy, but it's really not. Involved are many complicated chants and prayers (most ending with the unpronounceable names of elder gods), a large supple of fresh mortal souls (no more than 200 years old), and signing a Oath of Eternal Service with a major demon lord.

But, hey, fire immunity sounds good to me.

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Discussion

10 comments

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  1. slartibartfast

    You had me at the title. Silly, funny, and it would actually throw a lot of PCs for quite a loop. ("I don't get it; the damn stick radiates magic, its gotta light somehow...") Not a powerful item, but enterprising PCs could find a use. Very cute; I might actually try to use one of these.

    "The demon hits me with his fire blast? I'm holding the stick we found; that's gotta give me protection, right"

    "Sure; although the rest of you is incinerated, your hand is unscathed as it lies in the ashes that were once your character."

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  2. manfred

    Hey, and it's already got a little brother. :D

    Magical torches are fun!

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  3. axlerowes

    Fun idea, clearly written and funny. I like this alot. Somebody once said I think it was Murometz "For every uber-saga we need 1-2 of these intresting, ready-to-use, gaming items!"

    Thanks

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  4. Moonlake

    Echoing all the things said above, esp. Slart (this is definitely cute).

    I have a stub that I'm working into a sub that kinda echoes this (though it's not a torch). Will link it here once I finish.

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  5. Cheka Man

    Nice and not uber-powered because of it's size.

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  6. Dozus

    Neat! There are dozens of uses for this, very utilitarian.

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  7. Nocontrivedname

    Hey all,

    If you poke a buddist monk with it will they go out?

    nice stuff,

    NCN

    0 xp Reply +XP
  8. manfred

    Actually, what happens if you attempt to light it with an Ever-Burning Torch? Will they both explode? :)

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  9. Michael Jotne Slayer

    Not amazing, but still a ok idea.

    0 xp Reply +XP
  10. valadaar

    A neat item - bulky items are good!

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