Kitchen Gods- Modern Day Deities

I knew a lady who had her own 'kitchen god,' the Turnpike Goddess. This diety supposedly watched out for her while driving along turnpikes/highways/freeways. As long as she always did the right thing--use turn signals when changing lanes, etc.--then she would arrive safely at her destination on time. One of the Turnpike Goddess's rules was that no matter how fast you drove, someone would always pass you. By failing to placate the TG, this speeding person would zoom ahead into a line at the toll booth, which would then slow down so that whomever gave proper propriations would then get into the faster lane, and be further ahead than the speedster. While the TG's abilities extended only to open roads on long-distance journeys, she could supposedly always hear what was said about her, so it was ill-advised to make fun of someone professing belief in her.

One cannot forget one of the evil Kitchen Gods, the Arch-Demon Lag. Lag infects the computers of those who fail to offer up money at his temples (BestBuy, CircuitCity, computer retail outlet of choice)Anger lag and you will find your computer slowing, windows taking longer to open, games running slower and slower until you weep and gnash your teeth and tear at your breast.

Hard Drive Gnomes - These miniscule illusionists and mechanics keep computer hard drives functioning, and ensure all processes and programs run as they ought. They vary in disposition and skill, and tend to become frazzled and senile in their older age. When fresh and happy, the gnomes keep a computer running smooth and fast. Gnomes that become surly for whatever reason can wreak havoc on operating systems, causing program failures, cascading errors, and malfunctioning hardware. Aging or tired gnomes function just as poorly, though not maliciously. Gnomes do not like to be overworked and it is wise to shut down a computer every now and then to grant them some rest.

The Traffic Demon

A malevolent, spiteful entity whose sole existence, it seems, is to be the cause of those mysterious, inexplicable slowdowns, traffic jams, and other such events which make commuting in any large city an absolutely pain in the neck. Often seems to single out individual drivers and plague them for days at a time, then just as mysteriously turn its attention elsewhere.

Fnord, Spirit of Conspiracy

Often invoked by conspiracy theorists, Discordians, and others of similarly fringe nature, Fnord is the essence of the inexplicable when trying to explain it. Fnord is often blamed for almost anything, if a conspiracy can somehow be blamed for the event, however implausibly. Originally an innocent joke by the writers of the Principia Discordia, Fnord has taken on a dramatic life of its own in the lunatic fringe.

Trillian - Spirit of Chat

Breaking down all barriers to communication, Trillian is the Spirit of True Communication. Its powers are only begining. Eventually, as Trillian grows in power, the net will facilitate a higher degree of communication.. and increase Humanities (and AIs) ability to work as one.

For now, Trillian is the spirit of chat. It inspires people to write chat programs and add ons. It can ward against Gremils and improve latency of all blessed chat programs.

Done on another site:

They tended to be more serious than we.

http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?t=395825

Chapstick Demons

These malevolent little cold-weather demons demand offerings of chapstick or other lip balms. If they are not appeased, they attack the lips, often until they crack and bleed.

Bugster

Bugster is a higher spirit of chaos. It loves to infuse complex systems and new projects, where it creates large numbers of bugs, frustrating the developing, testing and maintenance departments. Some claim it is a mere aspect of Murphy, but that is not true. Where Murphy is perfectly content to produce the same bugs or hit in the most obvious places for extra annoyance, Bugster likes to be creative, often choosing the most obscures corners for the defects to lurch from. He never repeats himself, though the bugs may be reproducible.

It is possible to attract him with the proper rituals (or numerous meetings) or lure elsewhere. To banish him is very hard.

The Birds and the Bees

Common name for the spirits that watch over a child as he or she transitions into adulthood.

Davy Jones

A malignant water demon that exists only to drag sailors down to their deaths on the open ocean.