Cavern of Inane Natter · Legacy archive
Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#921
You'd think a guy named Universal Knowledge Allah would have been able to avoid arrest.
I want an "Upvote" button so badly right now. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#922Hairties are definitely one of mankind's better inventions. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#923
Hairties are definitely one of mankind's better inventions.
But only the ones that don't take a bunch of hair with them when taken out -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#924
But only the ones that don't take a bunch of hair with them when taken out
Eh, you lose a few hairs here and there just running your hands through your hair. Losing a few to a hairtie isn't all that much price to pay for not dying of heat-exhaustion. That said, mine only take hair when I'm lazy.
Should I feel bad for watching "Dirty Pair" and enjoying it? There are so many 80s stereotypes and the entire show has serious overtones of sexism, but it's just funny to watch two cute girls solving crimes (and occasionally blowing up planets). -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#925
[quote author=MysticMoon link=topic=588.msg82257#msg82257 date=1393032760]
But only the ones that don't take a bunch of hair with them when taken out
Eh, you lose a few hairs here and there just running your hands through your hair. Losing a few to a hairtie isn't all that much price to pay for not dying of heat-exhaustion. That said, mine only take hair when I'm lazy.
When your hair is close to 3' long... a couple strands can look like a cat went missing :P -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#926So my wife and I are playing our usual meandering long since should have been scrapped/retired game, and I revealed to her character that rather than having moved out of the state 2 years ago, she actually died and had spent most of that time in hell before being resurrected with her memories altered to forget her mortal demise, and replacing it with a vanilla fantasy of having lived in Texas for a while before accepting that she ran away because emotions.
She later said, 'Hell? Really? i know my character isn't a saint but did she really deserve to go to Hell?'
'Out of all the things that happened in that exchange,' I said, 'the part that you stick on is that after her death she went to hell?' At which point my wife nodded.
'Well,' I said, 'There really aren't words in the human language or experience to describe the condition of human souls after death in a setting where Cthulhu is real.'
'Can we just go back to her being in Hell? That was better,' she said.
' -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#927Where the hell is my "Like" button?! -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#928
Where the hell is my "Like" button?!
I've asked that on every post I've seen Scras make today. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#929These posts brought to you courtesy of stress, lack of sleep, and Ancient Age Kentucky Bourbon -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#930[img width=400 height=239]https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/p/6/005/056/0cf/03aa06c.jpg -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#931 -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#932I'm using the kaiju from Pacific Rim as inspiration for cosmic horrors in my home game -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#933Which is scarier: a yes with twinkling eyes or a no with scorn-quirked lips? One is over in an instant and the other... an enigma of possibilities stretching on through unknown quantities of time. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#934Of course, if the cultists do choose to accept me and don't sacrifice me to their Dark God, I'm still not exempt from being eaten. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#935I hit a car while riding my bike today. He rolled through a stop sign, not noticing me coming down the road. It was raining, by brakes were wet, and I ended up slamming into his driver's side door.
Tomorrow when I bring my tools home I have some work to do, my handlebars, front wheel and seat were all knocked out of alignment. He has a lot more work to do/money to spend because my bike gouged the bejesus out of his front quarter panel, driver side door, and rear driver side door.
Lesson learned: Don't brag about the rain not being able to stop my and my bike. Because a Ford Contour sure as shit did. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#936Yikes! Hope you didn't get too badly hurt.
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#937Damn, that sucks. I've nearly been hit a couple of times by cars that suddenly turned right without warning. If it'd been raining those times... well, it wouldn't have gone well for me. It's amazing how quickly one can turn when that adrenaline hits...
As someone who regularly commutes to work by bike (but never in the rain, unless it catches me unawares) I've noticed that most motorists are courteous and pay attention to some degree. The remainder are dangerous because they're either completely oblivious to their surroundings or total assholes. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#938
Damn, that sucks. I've nearly been hit a couple of times by cars that suddenly turned right without warning. If it'd been raining those times... well, it wouldn't have gone well for me. It's amazing how quickly one can turn when that adrenaline hits...
As someone who regularly commutes to work by bike (but never in the rain, unless it catches me unawares) I've noticed that most motorists are courteous and pay attention to some degree. The remainder are dangerous because they're either completely oblivious to their surroundings or total assholes.
For the most part, local motorists are more polite to me on my bike than they are to me in my little car. I drive a 01 Kia Rio, roughly the size of a matchbox car, and I can be doing 60 in a 45 and people will attempt vehicular murder/suicide to get around me. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#939 -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#940
When your hair is close to 3' long... a couple strands can look like a cat went missing :P
2 months later, this is becoming more and more true.
In a completely unrelated note, all those jokes about kidney stones being the closest a man can get to childbirth?
100% true. There are no words for that level of agony. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#941Words cannot express how happy it makes me to see this thread is still a thing. You're going to get some words anyway.
Suffering and Sandwich
Tongs. Salamander. Searing. Triangle. Ablated. Origami. Suzerain. Apollo. Tuscany. Lavender. Meat Fork.
Long hair and kidney stones? I've had these. The Hair only made it to about 1'6" and The Stone of Kidney was but a wee gem. Get it? Wee. Gem. I'm transforming.
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#942Hmm, the longest my hair has gotten in my life is probably 3" Yes, I'm uptight and square :P
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Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#943For the first several years, I kept my hair in a simple pony tail. What amazed me most is just how tangled that shit becomes after the slightest breeze... like the little suckers, when left to their own devices, can't help but wander about like cats. Probably 6 or so years ago, I started braiding it. Much safer, as they have not yet learned to work together. To explore, to grasp, to wander. If ever they do, the gods help me. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#944The longest hair I ever had was 3'2". What I remember the most was the nights, when my hair got stuck under my body and I had to shift entirely over, just to turn my head.
Also....
SUMMER! -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#945Kaiju? Yeah there are kaiju. The movies don't tell it like it is though.
Yeah I've seen the movies, the giant monsters rampaging, trashing cities and swatting jets out of the air. Messy affair. Stupid as hell too.
The veritechs have stand off missiles with ranges measured in miles. Old stompy never sees the jets pelting it with explosives. But that's not the biggie, things that big don't go down from explosives that small.
When a stomper comes tumbling out of a DFE, there are two weapons we use. C'mon boy, why do you think we have flying warships with massive cannons on the bottom. Those are the Kaiju killers. Even God-effing-zilla is going to hit the ground after a 12 round salvo from a flying battleship. The other thing is that kaijus are biological in nature, they are alive, and living things have metabolisms and biology, and that biology can be sabotaged with poison and chemicals.
Mustard gas, chlorine gas, nerve gas, they are all nice for cleaning out kaiju swarms and parasites. For the big ones, there are basically kaiju sized chem darts that we can fire from jets, and these things can be packed with liters of tranquilizer, poisons, anything we want. Cesium isotope laced nerve agents are popular, the monster gets a big dose of glow in the dark death juice. Tasty stuff.
Stay frosty, we're on clean up duty, making sure that the CZ (containment zone noob) stays clear until the navigators decide it's okay. Shoot anything that moves, even if it's human. Kaiju contamination is serious. Do you know how many plagues of the last century spread because of a soft heart in a containment line? Kaiju Flu, red and blue were both released in piss poor CZ procedure.
Remember how many died because a gunner has a soft spot for a diseased girl in a torn dress. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#946I am not as much around here as I'd like to be.
Damn.
Life is chock full of real life stuff, and I don't have enough time to hang around here, doing awesome stuff.
Shadoweagle: I am sorry for laxing. I want to game, but I procrastinate.
Coldforged players: Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. It feels kinda hard to start up the game again. I felt the "conflict" ruined the game for me. Sorry for being an overly emotional GM. I should "Murometz" such situations, but I can't. Bad character trait, I know. :(
One day I shalt return with vengeance... and a nice front page post! -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#947I, too, watch life continually swallow up what efforts I would love to pour into this most magical of places. So many plans to come back full bore have been thoughtlessly devoured by... dark things.
Still, I pull against the chains, endlessly.
Someday... some day. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#948The ghost of the famed logician Aleister Crowley informed me last night that I am in fact not a pair of britches, however he was unable to confirm nor deny my suspicion that Our Glorious Leader is in fact a shirt. More on this pending after the next commercial break. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#949But did you get a sizing chart on the shirt? The logo? Could be it was just the first piece of the puzzle. The first clue. Dammit, man, why didn't you look deeper?! -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#950This one time I was going to -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#951...unfortunately you were unable. It happens sometimes and I, for one, don't look down on you for it. The light fixtures on the other hand, they look down upon us all, and they smile in their bloodless way, and they wait until the time is right. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#952A field of fleshy daffodils hungers
The silvery sheen of oil stares
The putrid reek of gasoline tastes
The chill whispers of the storm caress -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#953Arterial blood's red, // Roses are red, // The walrus is dead,
Venous is blue. // Violets are blue. // it's lovers die too.
I'm still alive, // Dread Cthulhu lies dreaming, // I'll get you my pretty,
And I see you. // And Nyarlethotep watches you. // And your little dog, too. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#954Alright, it is time you mofos. I am straight going to talk about this nonsensical language shtuff that lazy writers use to make their characters names/lingos sound "foreign" to a non-Inglish ear. Because this is aimed primarily at native speakers of teh English (whether it be the Queen's or that collection of dialects known primarily as 'Murican) you foreign folks prolly only need to skim it, cause really, all you need to do to make something sound foreign to us rulers of the world (I don't want to hear anything from you Brits, we basically took over the whole primary world power thing from you, so I know that in you time you would've been slightly put out if anyone worth talking to didn't speak English) is use your native tongue.
Sin the First: Apostrophes. I mean, really, slapping an apostrophe in the middle of a word isn't just stupid, it's lazy. Unless if you're writing a Sco'ish character, there's really no reason to be using glottal stops just to sound special. Exceptions include: Scots, 'Arabs (yes, the "proper" transliteration of Arab would include an apostrophe seeing as the 'ayin is generally written with an apostrophe when transcribed into English because there's really no other way to write "I'm currently choking on a cock"); if your conlang actually has glottal stops or a voiced pharyngeal fricative (in the later case might I recommend ʕ as an approximation due to its use in IPA? No? I didn't think so... :c) feel free to use the apostrophe. Everyone else, can make ʕ noises around the gratuitous I will shove down your hatch.
Sin the Second: C/Ck/K diskishness. Where the First just reeks of laziness, the second is that of pretentiousness. Yes, there are real religions that think that Magick (with a capital M and a ck) are a thing, but I'm pretty sure that you're not writing about that in your fantasy setting. If you are, feel free to disregard and have fun with mages that can't fireball. Everyone else, STOP IT!!!!! You're not fooling anyone into thinking that you're "legit" or "have new ideas." In a fantasy setting magic == magick == magik, no ifs ands or buts, and that goes for anything else with a c that you're substituting a ck for, or a k you're subbing in a hard c for, it doesn't matter, don't do this. If you commit this sin you will be condemned to the ninth circle of hell, to warm Satan's juice crew for all of eternity (with your mouth). Do not pass go, do not collect 2,000 nuyen.
Sin the Third: Nu instead of new. I... Just... no... ... ... Please, don't... I mean, English isn't exactly the most logical, or beautiful, or perfect, or languagey language out there, but why. I may not have much respect for the language, but I'm not about to substitute a "u" for "ew" just because "it looks like a thing kids will do." If you still feel the need to do this, remember this one phrase "If I actually do this and I get famous, no kid anywhere will ever use that word ever" and you should be able to prevent yourself from butchering this poor defenseless language any more than it already has been by Shakespeare.
Sin the Fourth: *h****e. This is, combined with Sin the Second, is where we get names like Kharne (Carnage -> drop 2nd syllable -> C to K -> +*h***e = Kharne). Other words that follow this rule are therazine and theramine and roughly a gogool other words, all made up by someone that thought they were being hhote shhite, when they decided to do it but didn't realize that everyone else was doing it too. No matter how much to want to write that slashfic about your OC Phorne and his adventures with Spock, don't.
Sin the Fifth: Ps(pit it out you useless waste of air). The only reason we have "Ps" as an actual diphthong in the English language is because some highly educated idiots in the past decided out language wasn't already messed up enough by the Norman invasion, so why not throw some Greek and Latin false roots into the language, just so that eight year olds can will college scholarships for their amazing ability to spell words. DO. NOT. CONTINUE. THIS. ABUSE. OF. MY. LANGUAGE. I will personally hunt you down and shove those "Ps"'s so far past your colon you'll be tasting them when you burp, for a month. And before you say anything, no, it does not make you cool to creatively misspell words beginning in 's' solely to make your word look cooler. On a side note, I'm going to include the diphthong "ph" in this, because it really doesn't matter if you call your magical means of communication a phone or a fone, they're still the same thing (bad example, I know, but this whole sentence was written about the same time as the comment on ellipsises, so you can go phrack an asteroid.) Also "ae" when and "a" would do, and "gh" and... You know what, forget it, call them phayrighies for all I care, power to you, I hope you choke and die on all the extra letters.
Sin the Sixth: Doubling of consonants. "But Professor P," you're saying, "that fragment doesn't have a verb." My reply is to beat you with a turgid fish. At this point I'm nearing the point of incomprehensibility in my drunkeness, so you're going to have to accept my word that this is a Bad Thing™ and that you shouldn't do it. I will be honest with you and say that it's so far down the list I didn't even think of it until Tusserk decided to say something and accidentally doubled the k at the end of e's name, at which point I replied that while the use of hard vowels at the end of a name to signify your's is a warrior culture is a thing, it's not actually a crime against all languages everywhere, though it's close. In fact, compared to the others it's downright tame, mainnly because mosst peopple donn't go arounnd doubbling the midddle consonnant in their worrds. In case if you were still wondering why it's actually a bad thing, look ye to the preceding sentence.
Among those things that don't quite make it into the category of sins, but merely minor annoyances, are:::
Left to Right writing bias: Because most of our exposure to conlangs comes to us though a couple of phases transliterated into the Latin alphabet and the occasional name, this doesn't actually come up that often, but when you start seeing the actual characters in a language, how often are they presented right to left, as opposed to boustrophedon, left to right, up to down, or down to up? Those are all actual way of writing that have been (or still are) used in our world, ignoring such wonderful options as corkscrews, it doesn't matter, and "I write the words on bones and stick them in a bag, how the recipient reads them is up to the gods."
Subject, Verb, Object bias: Forgivable because most (SVO and SOV the two most common structures account for three quarters of sentencing in the world, wikipedia counted) of the languages spoken in meat space are of the SVO orientation, it is, however, not the only form of structure found in natural languages. But, I'm calling upon you oh nameless hordes of peoples making up languages to fill that empty hole in your life, make something that's VSO, or SOV, or even OSV. It can be done, the Warao people of the Guyanas did it, so I'm sure you can too.
Abuse of the Common Ellipsis: I will admit that I am a major abuser of this beautiful collection of dots. Every day I can be found using them, over and over and over... But it's all right, really. They exist to provide a visual cue for something that is lacking in a text based medium, namely the sound "um" or the physical action of rubbing your hand on the back of your head.
Umlauts (and other diacritics): If you're just using them because they look metal, don't. They have an actual meaning, and you are ruining them, you personally. If there is any higher power(s) s/he/they will take you behind the celestial outhouse and beat you with a hose if you use these beautiful symbols solely because they make Fáirïes happy. However if you're going to use them for their actual meaning, namely showing with a specificity just what particular vowel sound you're trying to use, feel free. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#955I don't know what the Professor is drinking, but I want some of it, and I think we should buy him some more of whatever it is.
Unless it's something like antifreeze, or bathtub gin -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#956Antifreeze is bad for you, it makes you blind, or puts hair on your palms, one of the two... Bathtub gin, on the other hand, is outstanding. And by bathtub gin I actually mean that awesome shine that my buddy James's uncle Jim makes. Yeah, their family is distinctly lacking in the unique name front, namely because James is actually a Jr, and his uncle is using his middle name... I gave up trying to figure out why they thought this was a good idea years ago. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#957I hate trying to come up with foreign sounding place names. I don't think I cross any of those sins, but it's possible. I just kinda stare at the keyboard (well, mentally speaking since my most oft-used keyboard has blank keys) and see what jumps out at me. And then, while reading a book on Etruscan history, I realize that some place name I thought I made up turns out to be a real one I probably saw on a map somewhere and it got stuck in my brain, until one day it just kind of fell out onto the page. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#958Yeah, sure, we'll post this here 'cause I don't really feel like making a whole new topic just to bitch.
My job doesn't pay me enough. No, seriously. I'm not talking about "industry standard", or "paying me what other professionals are worth", like I've bitched in the past. I'm talking about "for the level of work I do, my compensation is nowhere near enough".
A few months back, I was promoted (again), this time to Development Manager. Fancy words aside, this means I'm in charge of all software development company-wide, internal and external. Sounds great, right? Yeah, no. In the two months since they promoted me, there have been precisely 2 weeks when I haven't broken 40 hours, and both of those were so close to 40 they can be written off as anomalies. Every other week, I've broken 40 by a very healthy margin. And my compensation? Nowhere near enough. Yeah, sure, I got a raise along with the promotion. But it sure as hell doesn't cover the new responsibilities. -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#959When your promotion to team leader/supervisor and raise only offsets the latest hike in Health insurance premiums.
:Thud: -
Re: Re: The Call of Captain-thulhu part 3
#960That was probably the one good piece of job news I had this last month. Premiums didn't go up. Apparently they went down for our plan.