Strolen's Citadel

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Thirty Punchlines to Dwarven Dirty Jokes

by axlerowes

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....not included

135 xp 3,812 views

Quest entry

Quest - Guilds

The idea for Strolen Citadel Guilds has been around since the site first began. There have been many thoughts about it and all of them revolved around A LOT of code with the features all, more or less, automated. Well, t… Open the quest

Full quest brief

The idea for Strolen Citadel Guilds has been around since the site first began. There have been many thoughts about it and all of them revolved around A LOT of code with the features all, more or less, automated. Well, that won't happen so why fight my impulses.

So any submission that goes in for the next month with a Guild focused freetext will gain extra XP and the knowledge that you are here at the beginning of the Era of the Guilds!

Join or create a Guild today!

1  Where you going lad? it is your turn to work the bellows.

2  I said Mountain Hall not Mount Them All

3  Her husband looked up and said 'This tastes like soap'

4  Then the Gnome says 'I can't smell any gems in there but I will keep my nose in it'

5  All my spikes are flush

6  Yes that is a beard in my pants

7  Pull me a pint from Groemdigger's stout

8  Take it easy, don't forge it.

9  He ended up with a piece of blue-fairie pie

10  The mining guild member took out two wooden planks and said 'all tunnels need at least two pieces of shoring before a Guild member can work'

11  Humans

12  Two days later he pulled out a diamond

13  I don't understand, I have been hammering the dagger for hours and the steel still isn't pink

14  A beard in the hand is worth two in the bush

15  She is not what she a beard to be

16  A toothpick

17  Cause the next day you piss splinters

18  That is not a arquebus but it is loaded

19  The human would ride in the boat and tip the bar maid

20  Then the male goblin says let just stay here till we out number them

21  After 59 minutes the dwarf got up to leave saying, 'You said a 100 gold an hour, if I stayed another minute I would have to pay'

22  You said treat it like a masterwork sword, so I offered it to the king

23  The guild woman who usually does that part called in sick, but the Harriah will make you breakfast and Bella will take your money

24  Everyone knows Dwarves only eat once a day

25  You were supposed to look for shaved coins

26  She is just whistling while she works

27  That Gnome just spit on me!

28  Then the gold miner's daughter said 'I was just following the vein'

29  The entire mining guild is working the shaft, my lord

30  I thought you wanted red meat off the bone

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Discussion

7 comments

Reader talk, questions, and feedback — not scrolls.

  1. Mourngrymn

    Definitely dwarven, but not what I was expecting.

    5 xp Reply +XP
  2. Murometz

    This would be an easy 5 for me, if the jokes to the punchlines were included. Regardless, #'s 2,15,28, 29 made me laugh.

    6 xp Reply +XP
    1. axlerowes reply

      Why can't you tell jokes online timing

      1 xp Reply +XP
  3. Mourngrymn

    forgot to vote

    0 xp Reply +XP
  4. Strolen

    Some I just didn't get. Others were plainly obviously. At first I didn't like it, then I accepted it, then I enjoyed it.

    5 xp Reply +XP
  5. Dossta

    Amusing in its own right. I agree with Muro that including the jokes would improve the submission, but as it is I can still bring the PCs in at the tail end of a dwarven conversation (if you'll forgive the pun).

    5 xp Reply +XP
  6. valadaar

    I actually liked that you had to fill in the jokes yourself. It made me laugh :)

    5 xp Reply +XP

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