River's Coin

"Please, there must be something you can do. Oh if he'd just managed to keep his eyes open, two more minutes would have been enough."

There are many paths, you have not yet finished along yours. Go now, and continue your journey..

-Brother Marcus, Priest of the Goddess Alira, speaking the words that along with the coin would give this man another chance.


River's Coin

A golden coin, struck on both sides with a depiction of Alira, the goddess of mercy and truth.

At first glance this coin appears to be just like any other. The weight, size and colour being the same. Closer inspection will show her face and an inscription running around the coin.

Where do they come from?

These coins are minted when Alira petitions Polleus, Keeper of the Eternal Garden (more commonly known as the god of death), to return those that she deems worthy to life.

If Polleus refuses to return the requested soul to the land of the living even though it is his divine obligation to do so, he may give Alira two coins. That the departed soul used to pay entry into the Eternal Garden.

These coins are empowered as a form of consolation prize for Alira, as Polleus knows he is in the wrong for keeping a soul that he should have returned.

These coins then appear on the alters of Priests of Alira and are extremely rare. Due to their scarcity their existence is known to only a few.

Usage

People die, all the time. Some happy, some sad and others indifferent. Then there are those that die before their time, without the chance to achieve their destiny.

It is then that the Priests of Alira are summoned if the situation allows for it.

Each coin can be used once, and only if the deceased passed away less than nine hours ago. Otherwise it is too late and their soul will already have passed on into the next realm.

The coin sends the beneficiary back in time; nine minutes before they died. Only they, and no one else will have memories of their death. They will find a coin in their pocket, this time with Polleus' face on it.

Should the bearer survive, he or she will have a nice souvenir. The coin is then no longer magical and is just a coin.

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? Responses (60)-60

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Goto Author

I am having difficulty assigning a plausible history to this item. I don't want to tap into the same old clichés.

Penny for your thoughts?

Edit: Made a thread in the forums. http://strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,5929.msg72868.html#new


Goto Author

Instead of asking for help in the sub itself to possibly derail its purpose you should instead make a post in the Advice section of the forums with a link back to here that way the true comments on the sub are kept here but the advice on the growth of the sub stay hidden.

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Goto Author

Update: Updating after receiving some great ideas from Forganthus. Credited with co-author.

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Whoohoo! I like it. You rock, chilled.


Goto Author

I couldn't have made it without your help. Setting this to normal now, let's release it to the horde shall we!

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Short and concise. I like the 'grab and go' nature of this submission.

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Goto Author

This item is, to me, kind of a mixed bag. There are basically three parts to it, and I don't think that they entirely go together. What I mean is this:

First, the idea that the gods basically pay each other money in exchange for refusals and perhaps insults or whatever, a sort of divine recompense, I guess, is really neat. I love the idea that the god of death has a responsibility, and if he doesn't want to do it, he has to pay a price to another god, and also that the money used for such payments can end up in the hands of mortals. That's a cool idea.

Then you say that he pays the two coins which were used to get into the afterlife. The idea that the coins paid to get into the afterlife become magical is also a neat idea. But I feel that it lacks a certain degree of symbolism with the previous bit. If there's a connection between the money and why the death god is supposed to release the soul, then it makes sense why he's returning that specific money. But as is, it comes across as just being the money that he happens to have at hand, coincidentally the same amount, and that sort of robs the item of this interesting bit of background.

Finally, the actual thing that the item does. Sending people back in time to avoid their own death is an interesting idea, if a problematic one in an actual game scenario, I suspect. But again, I think it kind of lacks resonance with the rest of the bits. I don't think that dying and time share an inherent connection, so I think that this comes across as kind of a forced way to bring someone back to life.

In the end, I think that you have three good ideas here that are all kind of dangling off of each other, rather than firmly connected.


Goto Author

Hmm, while I don't see them to be dangling from each other, I know what you mean.

The time freetext with this submission is maybe pushing it a bit, it made sense to me at the time.

How would you suggest I 'connect' these ideas? What would you see changed/done differently?


Goto Author

Part of the concept is the admission that 'yes, here are three unrelated things (coins, mercy, time) that we are going to blenderize into an item.'

So it does seem a bit awkward, I guess.

I just imagine that the rudest thing that a goddess of mercy can do to the god of death is resurrect someone that is already dead. This is Polleus' way of letting Alira resurrect people without letting her rob him.

Can we add something about how many of Alira's greatest champions have these coins set onto their armor/staff/necklace? It might be interesting for a PC to learn why a high cleric of Alira is wearing a coin with Polleus on it.


Goto Author

I more or less have the same thoughts as Forganthus with regards to the underlying concept(s) for this sub. Personally, the write-up will get at least a 4 from me, though I also admit to not particularly liking the fact that as the sub currently stands, the coins seem to be a way for Alira to bypass Polleus and resurrect someone already dead even if her petition fails (although not a way that guarantees success but still a way) which then sort of defeats the purpose of Polleus not agreeing to the petition in the first place. But this new idea proposed by Forganthus fits this 'logic hole' nicely. Will wait till the new version and then vote.

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Goto Author

This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion.

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Goto Author

This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion.

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Goto Author

This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion.

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Goto Author

This is a good sub chilled - great job!

The older i get, the more connected i see time and death. A metephore for me is the never-stopping conveyer belt to oblivion.

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What val said!

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What val said!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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What val said 6 times!

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Also, this totally gives me a video game feel.

'Let's to go fight the dragon! I've still got an extra life!'

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Goto Author

The writeup seems a little confusing but I was able to get it after a few reads. It could probably be clearer if there was more. For instance, maybe a description of a specific soul who was held by Polleus (and why) followed by how the coins given to Alira's priests were used.

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Goto Author

I don't normally rate a short sub so highly, but I love the background and logic behind this piece. The system of barter between the gods of mercy and death hints at an entire culture just waiting to be explored. The only modification I would make if I were to use this, is just return the person to life, rather than send them back in time (but that's really a matter of personal taste; this would work just fine as is for someone who like time travel threads).

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Goto Author

It's ok.