NPCs · Minor · Knowledge/Lore
Parietal
Found in the ruins of a battle long commenced, Parietal is sure to leave players flabbergasted.
"YOU'VE COME BACK AFTER A THOUSAND YEARS TO FINISH THE JOB!"
The swordsman looked at his partner to the left. "Is that a talking skull?"
"OH PLEASE DON'T! I'M HAPPY WITH MY EXISTENCE! HAPPY!"
Appearance
Parietal is a human skull of generally normal size and shape. The surface is aged, devoid of all flesh, and slightly gnawed on by various vermin. Parietal has a large wound where the parietal bones of the skull are located- the primary reason for his name. The wound varies depending on the criteria below.
Being the former human's spirit housed in the skull, Parietal's eyes glow when he speaks, and the illumination is comparable to a torch, albeit of different colors ranging from red, blue and purple. Parietal speaks in a disembodied voice that listeners can determine come from the skull.
History
Caught in a ferocious battle, Parietal's unlife began when he suffered mortal wounds at the hands of someone wielding a historical artifact. Most prominently was the blow he received to the parietal bone of his skull, which caused his death. Parietal eventually gained awareness and control over his new state of existence, unable to leave the battlefield where he fell.
Personality
Parietal's memories of his life before the battle that ended his life slowly faded away. He fears the weapon that killed him, immediately recognizing it and whoever wields it as his master. Parietal falls into hysterics easily, courts melodrama whenever possible, and cannot conceive that his master does not actually want to kill him. Parietal is a constant nihilist, defeatist, and is prone to immediately proclaiming doom or impending catastrophe.
Parietal maintains his knowledge of history as of the time of his death, and any skills he may have had in his former life, albeit without the physical capability to utilize them.
Plot Hooks
Parietal is the last remnant of an evil tyrant whose death at the hands of a hero long forgotten allowed a greater evil to enter the world- and Parietal's past knowledge is the key to closing said portal, doorway to the void, or sending the evil back to whence it came. If players can convince the skull that they're not going to die.
Parietal's death was the sole evil use of a good artifact, and until that wrong is made right, the artifact is powerless.
Should a speaking/intelligent weapon be the cause of Parietal's death, they should constantly bicker as the weapon threatens the cynical skull.
"Oh, my god. We're dead. We are so dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. And it's your fault!"
"I'm a sword! I can't help it if a past owner decided you smelled bad!"
"I can't believe the monster that's going to kill me a second time is talking about how I smell!"
"I'm not going to kill you a second time!"
"DEAR HEAVENS SAVE ME! MURDERER LOOSE! DON'T LET HIM KILL ME!
Found in the ruins of a battle long commenced, Parietal is sure to leave players flabbergasted.
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LOL. Funny. Of course the skull might want to lure to the PCs to get them into danger.
I am reminded of the skeleton from the Last Unicorn, this is a positive. I imagine Parietal speaking his his voice, rhyming a bit and making a good deal of nonsense. On the other hand I must admit that I absolutely loathe his name. I would either have an ironic name such as so and so the Tall, or a funny name like Baron Skully. Alternately on a serious note the skull's eroded memories could leave it a tad demented where it recalls being any of a dozen famous people from myth and legend popular during it's mortal life.
I have an aspiring nurse among my players- the name is partly a small in-joke to him- if he's brushed up on the bones that comprise the human skull, that is.
It's a decent sub, though talking skulls and annoying ones to boot are no novelty, especially since Morte (Planescape: Torment)
Hence, I recommend checking out Morte.
Also, as a doctor, I don't really think the name is too good. It could use one that's easier to yell, especially in combination with "shut up!", and a funny one at that.
Interesting take on an animated skull. I really made me laugh, smile and think. Good work. Very solid submission.
I like it. Certainly a non-standard NPC. Could be used as a good guide from the DM's perspective.
This could be fun to
harasschallenge the players with. Sudden hysterics revealing the locations of the PCs as they try to hide, letting slip the slightest clue in the middle of pointless rambling, an investigation stymied by an unhelpful member of the party. Reminds me of an intelligent ring a character of mine once had and could not get rid of.Also reminds me a little of Bob from the Dresden Files.
I can certainly attest that Bob no doubt had some part to play in my conception of Parietal. My main concern was the link between the historical artifact my players have an a poor soul who died to its blade- a skull just seems very convenient to use.
That was darn amusing, and reminded me of the old school campy fun of my early D&D days.
You used the word Parietal a lot...impressive
I like this, but detest the name. Most people in Fantasy realms unless they are doctors/healers, are not going to know the word.