A rundown shop of old joys, now just a wreck, with a little touch of mystery.
The Bazaar isn't much to look at, a small, squat building between two empty lots. The faded paint and dirty concrete walls show the general age of the place. Tufts of weeds poke through the cracks in the blank gray cement of the parking lot, and windblown litter is almost constantly present. Inside, the Bazaar appears even older than it looks on the outside. Numerous mold spots speckle the walls and floor, and rat holes are in profusion. The hallways and rooms echo eerily when walked through, as if the thick dust coating everything had never before been disturbed. The doors hang off their hinges at odd angles, tilting to and fro in the breeze that usually enters through the many holes in the ceiling. All except one. In the basement, behind a stack of decaying crates, is a door. With its latch and hinges rusted, it stands in dim defiance of its ruinous surroundings.
Behind the silent portal lies another corridor, this one lit by flickering electric lights. At the end lies No one knows, a dark room, home to all the mobs secrets, the hidden workshop of a serial killer, or, perhaps, just another storage room.
Once, the Bazaar was new. With fresh whitewash, and plate glass windows. That was when Dempree Dupree first bought it. Dempree was a jovial, plump man, with a big laugh to go with his big neck. He started in business as a patent leather shoe salesman. He was extremely successful; apparently people enjoy being treated nicely. But he swiftly tired of the traveling, and bought a piece of land and hired some builders. When it was finished, Dempree Duprees Emporionic Bazaar was the talk of the town. Dempree sold anything and everything, from silver tablespoons to ancient artifacts.
The local newspaper ticketed it as a place to go if you need something, but don't know what. This was quite accurate; whoever entered the Bazaar, never left without something, even if its not what they came in looking for. But, once they got home, they found out that they actually needed whatever it was he caused them to buy.
For twelve happy years he ran the Bazaar, and then tragedy struck; Dempree collapsed one day. The doctors in the hospital said that it was a stroke. When he was released, Dempree closed down the Bazaar, and went into seclusion. He never sold the building, so, the Bazaar was locked up and left to decay.
Plot Hooks
-Dempree went half mad after his stroke, and now lives in the basement room. He wont like intruders, especially if they want to take any of the number of things left behind. Dempree is no longer a happy man, his mind is shattered, and he often falls into violent fits. The characters come in contact with the Bazaar when a collector of rare artifacts hires them to break in and try to find it, having the idea that it might have been bought once, and then, when the shop closed, it was just left on the shelves. Indeed, the McGuffin is on the dusty, cobwebbed shelves, but Dempree still keeps strict lists of his inventory, and is much averse to thieves. He might even go as far as to act as judge, jury, and executioner.
-In the mysterious back room lives Samuel Trippin, Demprees younger cousin, who suffers from a mild form of psychosis. Samuel is a recent escapee from the local sanitarium. Mainly harmless, he much prefers to sit in his room and paint the twisted dolls that he is so fond of making. The characters get involved when one of his dolls is found at the scene of a bloody murder. Dempree is sheltering Samuel in the Bazaar for the time being, until he can find a more permanent home for him in the country. The murder was committed by a third party, the doll got there by way of a dog that Samuel has befriended. If they are inspected, canine teeth marks can be found on the doll.
-Dempree has finally died, and his will made no stipulation for who the Bazaar will be left to. Now, a young businessman, named John Mitchell, has set his sights on the building. The basement room is just an old, empty storage room. John Mitchell hires the PCs to break into the Bazaar to fabricate a haunting, so as to discourage others from bidding on it.
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For me this is in need of a little bit more,maybe a couple of rooms with minor spooky encounters or perhaps some spooky things left over.However I really got a feel for exactly
what the place looked and even felt like,so big kudos for atmosphere.Ill give you a 3/5 for now but with a little bit more Ill raise my vote
I didn't do just that because I wanted to allow the idea to ferment in the DM's mind. I gave you the place, and what it is about, now it's up to you to specify the locations in your own game.
forgot to vote
Not that bad. :)
I have to say it is really well written. This is 850% better than anything else you have written to day. It is clear. It is descriptive. It meets the basics head on and keeps going.
It is a piece of art in its current state. Pretty to look at, not very useful.
I see where you could go with this. I see your point that the GM should mull over in his mind how to use it. It has a great deal of atmosphere. However there is little purpose for it, and the three plot lines are scant.
Take it from me, you need to lead people along to the conclusions and deductions and inferences that to you seem self evident. Have you seen a lot of my subs (who get banged on) that are small and direct, then I unleash this huge explanation in the comments, because people obviously didn't get it (or get what I wanted them to get from it). Learn from my mistake, as include these things in the first place.
To be useful, add some more "possible uses". Add some horror. Add some Scooby Doo. Add something useful for fantasy. keep going. It has potential, show us all of it.
This is rather sinister and very atmospheric Drackler, I hve to say I liked reading it, it seemed very much like a Tale of Terror submission. For that I say thank you and nicely done.
As others have said - well done Drackler!
And I think it is perfectly usable as is, though of course more would help.
Definitely your best to date, and quite frankly, I'm damn proud of you, for sticking it out (as so few do) and improving your work, despite past criticisms. It isn't even subtle (your improvement). It is plain to see!
Mmmm, a decaying and abandoned bazaar. Good sub! Useful and atmospheric.
Three Cheers for the Colonel!!