Personal Ad

1. Personal Ad

   #1

   Personal Ad:
   SDE (Single Diabolical Entity) seeks SHF (Single Human Female) 20-24 for long term companionship. Must enjoy long walks on the beach, bowling, ice cream socials (suggestive wink), and ocasionally "lending" me small amounts of your essence. All serious replies considered. Please send photograph.

2. Personal Ad

   #2

   :? :roll:
   
   :reddevil:

3. Personal Ad

   #3

   :shock: :what:

4. Personal Ad

   #4

   :? :shock: :? EEP!

5. Personal Ad

   #5

   *High five*
   All right!

6. Personal Ad

   #6

   :twisted:
   Oh the fun this could be.
   
   SPF (Single Pixie Female) seeks lonely Tentacle Beast for long nights. Must be slimey, not scaley!
   
   :pixie:

7. Hmmmm.

   #7

   So very, very hentai. (Or is there another name for the tenticle sex fetish?)

8. Personal Ad

   #8

   Echhi, maybe

9. Personal Ad

   #9

   Echi is the whole tentacle thing.
   Hentai just means pervert, and refers to anime porn in general.

10. Personal Ad

    #10

    Blech.

11. Personal Ad

    #11

    Your personal ad reminds me of the message you get when you click on a Pit Lord for a while in Warcraft III: Frozen Throne.
    
    "Welcome back to the Tanya Show. With us today we have Malinjeroth, Hunter of the Night, and his girlfriend, Kim. Now, Kim, you were told that you two were coming for a makeover, right?"
    "Right, Tanya."
    "Well, I think Malinjeroth has something to tell you."
    "Uuh...Kimmy...Uh..You know I love you and...Uh..."
    "Yes? What is it?"
    "I'm a demon."
    (Audience gasps and boos)
    "But..But...You told me you worked at the post office!"
    "Yeah...I'm really more of a Pit Lord, to tell you the truth..."

12. Personal Ad

    #12

    What? They seriously had that? And you get it by clicking the Pit Lord multiple times?
    
    Coooooollllll. I'm going to go check that right now!

13. Personal Ad

    #13

    SEF (Single Elven Female) looking for SHM (Single Human Male) for an Elven Fling. Must like to walk in the forest in the pale moon light, Elven cooking, fighting Orc hordes, and shopping. Not being afraid of heights a big plus, as I live in a generational tree. Elven fling should last all your human lifespan. I Promise to remember you and morn your passing with deep melancholy for the rest of time. Send Photo.

14. Personal Ad

    #14

    Would a painting do? The photo-taking-thing stil needs to be invented as far as I know..

15. Personal Ad

    #15

    :knight:
    
    SMT (Single Male Teen) with apocltpyic destiny looking for SFT (Single Female Teen). Likes hiking, biking, the occasional computer or video game frenzy, and everyonece and a while being caught in some mystical adventure. Must put up with bad timing and do not expect him to be punctual, apoclyptic destiny has a way of needing him at the worst time. 8)

16. Personal Ad

    #16

    SEG (Single Evil Genius) seeks female of compatable allignment. Must like walking in the graveyard, torturing foes, and defending SEG from heroic interference. Must not have "good" sister or brother, had a bad experience previously. Only applicants with serious weapons skill should apply.

17. Personal Ad

    #17

    SHM (single heroic male) looking for a forbidden tryst with female SESV (Single Evil Villian) or SEH (Single Evil Henchman). Looking for secret one or two time relationship with or without future dramatic entanglements. Females with a snake or green motiff are special turn ons. Please send mugshots/ wanted posters.

18. Personal Ad

    #18

    There's a whole "classifieds section" on the Midian site like this. Personal ads from characters, in-game adverts, games looking for players, and even real-world type classified ads. Most of them are plot-hook type job offers. I didn't make any of these up, these are player/fan posts.
    
    Personal ads include:
    
    

    Drackonius
    
    Single Gaijin Male seeks Single Female (race not important:)
    
    Hi my name is Drackonius, I am a redskinned gaijin male with blond hair and green eyes. I am 8' tall and weigh 350lbs. I like killing stuff, long walks on the beach, and......triangles. I am a marine in the Formorian military and plan on moving up. I am looking for a woman who likes the same things, is fit and has a wild streak.
    
    Please contact me I am in the Byzant empire 4 days south of Vridtown with the Iron Man guild run by Agonn.

    
    And
    

    Absitian Granitsol
    
    SBZD looking for some AWFB for a cassual dinner and random conversation, for brains are slowly liquifying. Hurry if this interrests you, you have little time to respond. (SBZD = Single Brown Zombiefied Dwarf) (AWFB = Anyone With Fresh Brains)

    
    
    My personal favourite:
    

    Gareth Strongbow
    
    SEEKING: Soldiers for hire to help rightful heir regain lands in Byzant. Experience not necessary, but loyalty and dedication a must. Pay is very good and commensurate with experience. ALSO SELLING FISHING BOAT

    
    
    And this pair of ads, one in reply to the other:
    

    Drackonius
    
    Baby for SALE!!! I found a baby in a cave and am looking to sell her. I was going to have my family take care of her but they don't want her. And seeing as how I travel a lot in the military, I would not be able to provide a happy home for her. Not sure what her name was but I call her Lucinda. If you want to buy her please contact me. I can be found in the Byzant empire about 4 days south of Vridtown. "Caveat Emptor, Caveat Canem"
    
    ~~~
    
    Lucius
    
    Regards the purchasing of certain soylent products, if you would have more of these biologicals, I would be willing to purchase them for 3 bezants per little head.

    The Latin quotes were due to the players' suspicion that the baby in question was a werewolf. I must confess that this particular orphaned child was from my own campaign. Drackonius turned out to be a good father after all, and Lucinda is now a teenager, and doing just fine.

19. Personal Ad

    #19

    In the Seeking Friends section
    
    Slightly used sidekick type looking for a hero to worship and follow around. Well travelled, versed in a number of skills, and willing to handle all the "funny parts" of the heroic job. Please send me clipping of your exploits and I will share mine.

20. Personal Ad

    #20

    SMK (Single Male Kraken) looking for SFK (Single Female Kraken) for possible loving relationship.SFK must have all her tentacles intact and an unscarred body.

21. Personal Ad

    #21

    SGLEBDTTS (Single Genderless Entity Beyond Description To The Sane) seeks SFS (Single Female Sacrafice) to scream and rave, and eventually transcend sanity into a lightless region of consciousness that most cannot even imagine. Must not be averse to endless mad vistas of unreality beyond the ken of man, or seafood. Nice eyes a plus!

22. Personal Ad

    #22

    SCG (Single Crazy Gnome) seeks FTS (Female Test Subject), must enjoy being poked and prodded with all sorts of wierd devices and drinking potions for unexplained reasons. Short hair is a plus, as is a high constitution score and not minding sitting in a cage for prolonged periods of time. I have room for two, bring a friend. - Wit Gignal, SCG.

23. Re: Personal Ad

    #23

    SHM (Single Heroic Male) looking for cause and a SDF (Single Dedicated Female) attached to said cause. Charismatic, good looking, and has serious combat skills. Willing to oppose any evil cause. Call me and we will have coffee.

24. Re: Personal Ad

    #24

    SDL (Single Deformed Lich) looking for a SHF (Single Human Female) that doens't mind boiling water, sitting in it, letting me cut off body parts, fetid smells, fungus, puss dripping, or parts of my skull showing through missing skin in the facial area.  Experienced screamers and applicants with a long history of being violently possessed a huge plus...send me a finger...or two...if interested.   :wink: 

25. Re: Personal Ad

    #25

    edsnipapc(extradimesional supernatural immortal polygamist avatar of pure chaos) seeks mlphf (multi limbed psychotic human female) to add to herd.
    must be willing to be killed and then ressurected in the name of convenience of use and kludged immortality as concubine.

26. Re: Personal Ad

    #26

    SHM Paladin (single human male)  seeks adventuring band which has no female tempation to smite Evil with. Groups with questionable males, too many elves, or "wine merchants" need not contact me.

27. Re: Personal Ad

    #27

    MEG (Mad Evil Genius) with a very busy schedule of conqueoring searching for unowned female robotic concubine. I don't have time to build my own; but if you need a new master, I am it. Must be willing to give over remote controls and be subjected to a trojan search.

28. Re: Personal Ad

    #28

    Single Female Dwarf looking for Male Dwarf with a Big Hammer and at least a small hoard to start a heroic lineage. Have Skalds sing of our children's deeds. Contact via mail drop at Three Pines.
    
    

29. Re: Personal Ad

    #29

    Widowed Drow Female seeks broad-minded Drow Male for companionship and good times.  Must love spiders.

30. Re: Personal Ad

    #30

    From across the alleyway:
    You: Batwinged Beauty, dark magic sword, betwitching violet eyes.
    Me: Rugged chin, Blue Cloak, Fire bolts.
    We locked eyes between opponents. I felt a connection, did you? Let us find a neutral place to meet and ... discuss this.

31. Re: Personal Ad

    #31

    Ancient Dragon seeks attractive young female humanoid to serve as lair centerpiece. Benefits include room, board, access to knowledge and secret lore from ages past. Willingness to look past xenophobic relationship barriers a plus. Contact at the Howling Winds Pass.
    
    ---
    
    SMDE (Single Male Destructive Entity) seeks SFI (Single Female Innocent) to temper impulses to go on rampage. Antimagic powers and/or good skill with subdual weapons a must.
    
    ---
    
    Newly ascended god seeks High Priest/ess. Protfolio not yet solidified, get in on ground floor today. Contact Bob at nearest pantheistic temple.

32. Re: Personal Ad

    #32

    A real listing
    
    Looking for anime buddy
    MF in STL looking for someone to view/ discuss anime with. Like hist,. sci-fi, fant., advent., action, horror anime. Dislikes most mecha, sports, romance anime. Hates Moe and shota/lolicon. No hentai, yahoi, uri. Likes the same in manga. Will debate anime for ridiculously long time. Am open minded to anything once. Loves J-culture, esp. fashion. Doesn't cosplay, but doesn't mind others doing it well. Will go to theatrical releases of anime. If interested in becoming an anime buddy, please email......
    
    

33. Re: Personal Ad

    #33

    I am aiming to misbehave. Must have Brown Political leanings and some skill shooting.
    
    Could you just not see this being posed up in a Serenity Game?

34. Re: Personal Ad

    #34

    LE entertainer with five years of experience looking for a compatible CG. Own talkshow under discussion.
    
    Reply under: Alignement Talk.

35. Re: Personal Ad

    #35

    A great sidekick with some useful skills looking for a Hero to have a man-crush on.  Please send a recounting of your recent heroic endevors.

36. Re: Personal Ad

    #36

    Scientific Genius having warehouse sale on this tuesday.  Dozens of seldom used Enators for your own Evil Schemes. Bring cash. No checks.  Contact BOX 66676 for referral details.
    

37. Re: Personal Ad

    #37

    Handsome Mad Evil Genius Male Roboticist looking for like-minded Nerdy Female Astronomer to make like Von Neumann Machines and take over the universe. Must love enslaving planets.
    
    I have a space station and robotic minions to cater to our every whim.  You have a list of planets to conquer and a lust for power. Together we will be overlords.
    
    Must be willing to travel to exotic locations. Spacesuit provided.
    
    
    
    

38. Re: Personal Ad

    #38

    WANTED: Loyal Lieutenant, Min 5 years exp, PR and organizational skills needed. Send Resume and references. Lack of conscience or scruples a bonus!
    
    WANTED: Henchmen, Union package, benefits. Not a leader? Excellent! Apply in person at Doom Island Personnel Office
    
    WANTED: Disgraced Scientists, disgruntled technicians and experiences engineers. Many positions available, entry level and executive level. No experience required, please send college transcripts, vitriol filled letter of disgrace or hit list, and resume to Doom Island Personnel Office ATTN Linda
    
    WANTED: Collection of useless skills? (Karate, pole dancing, poker) Ever consider being a femme fatal? Send resume and glamour shots to Doom Island Personnel Office ATTN Mr. Doom Skullgrin.
    
    WANTED: Landscaper and grounds keeper familiar with tropical island plant and animal life. Electrician and handyman skills a plus. Doom Island General Office, ATTN Dave

39. Re: Personal Ad

    #39

    WANTED:  Z69 Components.  Willing to trade some robots of some complexity for them. 
    
    MEG looking for romantic entanglement with appropriate female henchperson.  Looking for an interior designer, a martial artists, or cybernetics engineer.  Any useful skill set will be considered.  Please send photo or hologram.
    

40. Re: Personal Ad

    #40

    
    Murometz: WMMGM seeking single EPC for a Forum RP. Must love posting often, cats, and just cozying up in front of a fire with a good book or movie.
    

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