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Silly items
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Silly items
#1As if there was not enough siliness around...
One of the Items inspired me to a new one. Yet, I sense it would do no good to post it. Still, it might have its uses:
The Water Scroll
(The scroll with mighty water locked inside.)
Upon opening and reading the single word inscribed on the scroll ("Water" in arcane tongue), the caster gets a bucket full of it right into the face.
The effect comes directly from the scroll, but always hits the caster, it cannot be evaded. The scroll is always a bit wet, but in good condition otherwise.
Makes for a nice practical joke, but may be useful if you are catching on fire, or need refreshment equivalent to a shampoo/drink/chewing gum from a TV commercial. Handy in the desert.
Alright, anyone else can think of some silly item, to make fun of PCs?
(And if you think now of a scroll named "Fire", that burns your fingers instead of casting the desired spell, it was my idea first. :twisted: ) -
Silly items
#2*grin*
This is a typical: I want to use this on the barbarian. Shame he can not read and I think he never is going to learn either.
Many thanks,
Ylorea
Comming up with one of my own has to wait until tommorow... I am to drained to even be able to write english.... -
Silly items
#3The Ring of Tackiness
Now, most adventurers are way too smart to put on any jewelry found before having checked out first. The Ring of Tackiness is a very ugly, cheap ring that resembles a Cracker Jack prize. If held in the hand for more than half a minute, the ring puts itself on a finger, and cannot be removed by any means short of a "dispell curse" or something similar, or cutting the finger off. Putting on gloves will not help, as the ring will eat through the cloth. It always remains in sight. It does nothing else but look hideous. The command words "I found the prize!" will make the ring fall off and go inactive until the next poor sod comes along. -
Silly items
#4Two words: Whiffle Accelerator.
Not two words: Eastern Rabbit's Staff of Doom.
Necklace of reversal
When worn, turns the wearer's head around to his back. If taken off and worn again, matches wearer's body to his head; that is, now his whole body is backwards. If they try to walk forwards, it feels like they're walking backwards. The necklace must be taken off and put on again to completly negate effect.
The September Sword
An ordinary sword untill the month of september, when it becomes a sword of righteous slaying +100/+1000 vrs anything that moves. -
Silly items
#5Hmmm, I think that is way too mighty a sword. I think I would rahter have that a s a friday the 13th sword. -
Silly items
#6The Ring of Tackiness
Now, most adventurers are way too smart to put on any jewelry found before having checked out first. The Ring of Tackiness is a very ugly, cheap ring that resembles a Cracker Jack prize. If held in the hand for more than half a minute, the ring puts itself on a finger, and cannot be removed by any means short of a "dispell curse" or something similar, or cutting the finger off. Putting on gloves will not help, as the ring will eat through the cloth. It always remains in sight. It does nothing else but look hideous. The command words "I found the prize!" will make the ring fall off and go inactive until the next poor sod comes along.
"Now wait... why did the mighty Blue Wizard wear this ugly thing? Ahah! It must have great powers, and it is just masked! Hmmm... I musk ask someone if it is safe to wear... ahhh, help, it jumped on my finger! It wants to kill me!" (character rolls madly around...)
Thanks for this one! I assume it is also near-indestructible! :twisted: This could actually scare the player, as the curse (that is delayed) will have to be horrible. -
Silly items
#7The Black Amulet of the Pit- This dark amulet, fashioned in the shape of a demon's face, was forged in the Inferno by Zolgath the Sweaty, Demon of the 8th Pit. When worn, the Black Amulet of the Pit makes the wearer's armpits sweat profusely and stink, ruining any clothing the wearer may have on. It cannot be removed, except by Zolgath himself. -
Silly items
#8Recent Game:
A PC finds a scroll, and as he cannot read, he hands it to another character, without looking at it. The PC has a look, looks surprised, then very glad, and then puts the scroll right into his pack.
"Alright, we can go."
"And what was on it?"
"Err... nothing important. Should we go left or right now? I think we better..."
"WAIT! What was on that scroll?!"
"Ummm... it's not interesting. Now, ..."
After some talking the finder was allowed to see the scroll, and decided to keep it. He showed it later to a third character, who claimed for a moment it was lost, yet returned it at last.
All happened without any intervention, or intentional manipulation of the GM.
With this I present:
The Cursed Scroll of Phorn
This old-looking piece of parchment depicts several erotic scenes :shock: , masterfully painted and in extremely vivid colours. Those looking at it cannot help themselves, but say words like "Ohhh..." or "Hmmmm..." and keep it, won't allow others to look at it or even give someone else. (Needs an Int. save, or merely the statement of a PC he will keep it).
If the scroll is of a more powerful kind, the "pictures" change according to the viewer's personal preferences, otherwise it is for humans' tastes.
The scroll may cause its owner to spend large amounts of time with it alone, and be not willing to share it with anyone. It could break a group if more than one member knows about it, or somehow finds out, as usually more people want it at once. It could also fatally distract a lonely character while guarding his sleepy comrades, or being alone in some dangerous place. -
Silly items
#9I do ask myself if this item is cursed or merly erotic in nature......
I do like the idea and do not consider it silly, but it would be fun.
Yours,
Ylorea -
Silly items
#10I did not create it cursed, just an ordinary scroll... but somehow, somehow it almost worked that way. :?
(They were repeatedly assured by their emplyer there must be some treasure. Monsters always have treasure around, everyone knows that. They even accepted the scroll as treasure, so what? :cool: ) -
Silly items
#11The Box That Cannot Be Opened
This cube is about 1 feet large, dark red in colour, with veins of both light and still darker red. It feels like wood, gives off no scent. A fine line indicates it is really openable, and a keyhole suggests in what way. No hinges are visible. If shaken, something can be felt to hit on the inside, but no sound is heard. If magic is detected for, it is there, but it cannot be made certain of what kind, and in what amount.
The box can be found, it can be given as a gift, it could be sold, stolen, whatever.
The box can not be opened. No usual or unusual way works. A key is not present, and no other will not work. Picking the lock is a nightmare for the thief, and some have really gone crazy trying to achieve this. No tool can force the lock, nor can any force even scratch the box at all. Indeed, it is likely the frustrated owner will throw it from a very high place one day, to find the damned box be in perfect condition. Its colour cannot be changed, nor its surface.
Just right, it cannot be opened.
Throughout the centuries, the box had countless owners, and many rumours and almost myths have arisen around it.
- It comes from the Devil (or substitute with other evil deity/demon/whatever). If you buy it, you must sell it for a smaller price, or you are horribly cursed/your soul belongs to him/you will die in a month/etc.
- It is a prison for a horrible demon/a pure being/powerful wizard/... Or it will simply end the world if it is ever opened. That's why it came into that dungeon...
- It is a godly gift, and the gods themselves will grant one wish to the mortal that manages to open it.
- A great heap of gold/the secret of immortality/the greatest diamond ever/the cure for all diseases is locked inside, awaiting the lucky one.
- A terrible disease is hidden in it, waiting to be released.
- The true king shall open the box, and find some royal insignia to confirm his claim on the throne.
The truth?
...and thus spoke the godly ------- and the common ******* for a long time. But in time the mighty god was greatly annoyed by this low creature, and as found no other (non-violent...) way to get rid of him, he presented the box as a gift and puzzle, so he finds out how to open it, and then enjoys the gift. But they shall not speak again, until it happens.
The Box is a godly artifact, indestructible and unopenable, unless you are a god yourself. It is empty. -
Silly items
#12Okay I haven't read all of the posts yet. (too damn lazy)
But I had a funny idea a while back.
An adventurous party sit in a tavern hearing about a fabled staff that is guarded by hell itself. Upon finding the dimension gate leading to the fabled staff the party set through hell itself. After loosing about half of it's members and being seriously wounded, the staff lies just infront of them.
When they pick it up all the demons in hell regenerate and sit just outside the circle protecting the party. (The magic circle is around the staff though when the staff moves the circle doesn't) A mage in the party examines the staff to find that the maginificent ability is... (SUSPENSE) to make 3 litres of salyva once every 8 days. -
Silly items
#13ehhrrr oke.... what is Salyva? or is my elvish just failing me today?
so far this falls in the category: You know your GM is evil when ......
(Other then that, the item might very well be an item I am currently looking for) -
Silly items
#14I believe he meant "saliva". -
Silly items
#15OOPS. Typo. Saliva. Spit. Drool. WEEEE!!! -
Silly items
#16it looks like an ordinary cigar and in fact it smells like one too even smokes like one, but 30 seconds into the cigar the smoker starts to laugh uncontrolably, every thing is funny (kinda like when you havent slept in a while) then all of a sudden nothing is funny anymore and they relize they have just crapped their pants. that one is a favorite among my traveling companions. -
Silly items
#17Sheesh. Wish I had a red pen. -
I found a red pen!
#18it looks like an ordinary cigar and in fact it smells like one too even smokes like one, but 30 seconds into the cigar the smoker starts to laugh uncontrolably, every thing is funny (kinda like when you havent slept in a while) then all of a sudden nothing is funny anymore and they relize they have just crapped their pants. that one is a favorite among my traveling companions.
I have marked down spelling and punctuation errors. -
Silly items
#19Translator of Political Corectness
Some items simply go wrong, that happens from time to time. But some are created by weird minds, even downright deranged ones, minds too sick to be healed. Guess where comes this item from.
Resembling a small bronze head of a venerable sage, the translator is perfectly able to understand any language used by intelligent beings, via a telepathical link (the speaker must understand his/her/its own words, of course). Activated through a mere touch, and a command, it then translates into any language of the users choosing. That was the good part.
Whether through a mistake, or some strange ideals imparted from its creator, the translator considers all creatures equal and good at their heart, and wants to bring more kindness into the world. If everyone can be helped to understand the other, the world will be a nicer place. In a polite tone, with its cultivated voice, it will speak like people SHOULD speak...
---
An ugly brute of an ogre swings its club, and screams something in its own language. Quickly, what does it say?
- "Get over here, skinnies!"
Good Morning, I am very glad to meet you. Let us have a discussion about our cultural differences!
- "Smash yer heads and eat da rest, me hungry!"
I am particularly interested in a creative debate on the topic of hunters and gatherers societies, as opposed to agrarian ones. I eagerly await your arguments.
- "The little one looks tasty! Others wolf-fodder. But Grush will eat you all!"
I find the present hobbit a very peculiar and interesting person, but I nonetheless accept the others as worthy partners and members of their respective races.
---
...maybe a bit over-done, but it shows the point. The translator can be (relatively) relied upon in calm business or other factual negotiations. Otherwise, it gets more and more annoying over time. Activated with a mere touch, it often ends up to being slapped or downright hit by its users. The head can be argued with, and will defend its views with the same calm flowery speech it uses always. Sadly, it has a very dim intellect, and its memory is very short. It cannot be convinced to change in any way. -
Silly items
#20it looks like an ordinary cigar and in fact it smells like one too even smokes like one, but 30 seconds into the cigar the smoker starts to laugh uncontrolably, every thing is funny (kinda like when you havent slept in a while) then all of a sudden nothing is funny anymore and they relize they have just crapped their pants. that one is a favorite among my traveling companions.
Personally, I just get rabidly vicious when I haven't slept for a while... -
Silly items
#21The Bloodthirsty Sword
Another miscreation from magic users that simply try too hard. Attempting to create another super-weapon, it failed to grow in power in exchange for blood.
The longsword is finely balanced, and has good bonuses both to-hit and to damage caused. If it comes into contact with blood, it soaks it up like a sponge. Unfortunately, it does not grow in power afterwards, it only _grows_. While it does not grow very much, the growth ruins its edge and significantly reduces the damage caused. Barely noticeable at first, the user will soon find that bloody combat transforms it into a nicely shaped steel club. The effect reverts after several days, or after "drying" it close to fire.
(There is probably a limit on the amount of blood it can soak up, though no one has tried yet. But massive quantities will certainly cause it to grow too large, and become too brittle, and breaking it would destroy its magic. A way to distill it might be researched, for purposes like transporting the blood of certain creatures.) -
Silly items
#22That Stupid Lighter
The lighter used to have a very useful function: the first two strokes produce little sparks, but the third lights any item the user concentrates on. And it was useful to its owner and creator, until the old wizard absent-mindedly tried to light his pipe, while reading an ancient parchment. Of course, he was just intensely concentrated on the wrong item, and the precious document was set aflame! He cursed the lighter and threw out of his window, and tried to save his other papers. The lighter has had many owners ever since, and most have thrown it away sooner or later.
Power: with the third stroke, the lighter lights randomly either the thing its user concentrates on most, or second such thing. If in doubt, use the last thing the person payed attention to. It is not rare for a person the user just talked to start mildly burning (or at least their clothes, rarely the hair or backpack).
"One, two, three... what, nothing?"
"Heh, doesn't work, huh?"
"*sniff* *sniff* ...but something burns... hey, that's YOU!"
"What? Not me... aaaaaAAAHH!" *rolls madly around*
The lighter can light only flammable materials (flammable under normal conditions, of course). The flame starts small, though it can spread like any fire. -
Silly items
#23The Box That Cannot Be Opened
- It comes from the Devil (or substitute...
Mmmmm Devil Substitute -
Silly items
#24These actually turned out to be very effective:
The Frog grenade. This package of 1d4 grenades explodes as per a normal grenade. All caught in the blast radius are turned into frogs.
Two Liter Spirit Club. In future set game, a two liter cola bottle filled with holy water. used as a club against spirits.
And, one I'd never heard much more than the name of: The Great Golden Pixie Thwacker. Beyond the power to turn things pink, use your own imagination.
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