Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

1. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #41

   No humbug! Only bah!

2. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #42

   so YOU say, I have my own insult/ignoring statement.

3. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #43

   Urbulzog.

4. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #44

   Begone with Ye!

5. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #45

   Okay.

6. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #46

   wow, that was surprisingly easy.

7. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #47

   :lol: I don't know maybe you just have away with flightless birds!

8. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #48

   its entirely possible.

9. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

   #49

   :roll: It's your charm! :lol:

10. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #50

    well, at least I have 1, I thought I was a loser!

11. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #51

    Lalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
    
    I was so sad without you, sniperspy, ya' shoulda' seen it!

12. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #52

    Come on sniperspy their are no losers here! There may be dragons, elves, faries, wolves and occasoinal pengiun but no losers! :wink: And I would have been sad if I were here ot realize that you had retired be for you came out of retirment!

13. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #53

    ya im like micheal jordan there!! j/k
    thnx though

14. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #54

    :D No problem! Micheal! :roll:

15. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #55

    didnt you see the j/k???
    Thats the problem with folks these days, never pay attention to details!!!!!

16. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #56

    My mistake.................. Micheal! :wink:

17. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #57

    I think your missing the point here :D

18. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #58

    Your right I probably am why don't you refresh my memory! :D

19. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #59

    Hmmm..........
    We know that they are fools, but the question remains, gentleman, what kind of fools are they?
    :?

20. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #60

    The kind that eat flightless birds for dinner :dracoliche:

21. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #61

    That's what you think!

22. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #62

    :D Nope thats what I know just be glad that it's time for dessert and everybody knows penguin is only good as an appetizer!

23. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #63

    ya, you would be a fool for eating a flightless bird for dinner. Everyone knows they are appetizers!!!

24. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #64

    No actually penguin soup is excellent for dinner and penguin ca-bobs is great for an appetizer but they are no good for dessert

25. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #65

    right, who wants a leathery aftertaste?

26. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #66

    You should really try elf. It's kinda' sweet, like lamb, except it's aftertaste is salty.

27. Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #67

    I discourage canibalism so will never try elf myself. You all can help yourselves as long as you do not kill the elf just to eat it.

28. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #68

    Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack...
    
    Genius name!
    
    Wonder what kind of reproductive organs them beholders have anyway... The eleventh eye? "Eye of Offspring"... Perhaps the tongue serves a special purpose? Perhaps it bites into a host, alien-wise, and then thrusts its tongue into the flesh of the host, to lay eggs that will hatch. Then one day fledgling beholders are gonna... burst out of the blood vessels?
    
    If they have more regular ways... Well, I kind of imagine two balloons trying to get it on...
    
    Must suck to be a beholder!

29. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #69

    Lewd Beholder's Love Shack...
    
    The Love Shack of Lewd Beholder...
    
    What sort of place would that be?
    
    I'm picturing some sort of decadent tavern, deep within the earth.

30. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #70

    As a demon/angel anomily(sp?) mutt, I would have to say the Luv-Shack of Lewd Beholder would have to be underground, as beholders tend to live there from my personal experience. Terrible menaces, with the spells and the teeth and the constant hovering. They taste quite good when roasted with a fireball though.

31. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #71

    What most people do not know is that the internal composition of a Beholder is nearly 45% reproductive organs. Much like starfish or sea urchins, each beholder produces literally millions of offspring during their lifespan, the great majority of which do not reach even a year in age before falling prey to native micropredators and their most pressing foe, other beholders.

32. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #72

    I’m not sure that your hypothesis is universally accurate, as beholders vary wildly in appearance and anatomy.  I suspect that while many beholders haphazardly release millions of nearly helpless spawn, gleefully devouring any of the revolting little parasites that remain near their lairs, beholders reaching the end of their lifespan carefully select and groom their “heirs”.  These creatures kill all but a handful of their spawn, and then select one from the surviving remnant to survive.  Invariably choosing the beholderling that looks most like them, they shape their descendant to be their exact double.  Upon the death of the elder orb, the spawn generally devours its ancestor.  A few keep the dead beholder around as a memento, hollowing it out like a gruesome piñata.
    
    While it may be true that beholders have more in common with starfish and other invertebrates than is commonly supposed, that sidesteps the burning question of what sort of “Luv Shack”  a beholder would prefer.  I have this image of walls covered with shag carpet (padding, in case the reproductive activities of the orbs grow too frenzied) with multicolored disco balls providing suggestive illumination.  Enslaved minstrels playing Barry Manilow’s greatest hits (Mandy, anyone?) complete the terrifying picture…

33. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #73

    :shock: That's a, errr, wonderful mental picture there Wulf...  *shudder*

34. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #74

    Not the worst type of shack I've ever heard of, well, seen, *shudder*, however, still very disturbing.

35. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #75

    Woo!

36. Re: Lewd Beholder's Luv-Shack!

    #76

    Maybe... just maybe...
    Beholder's could- no... uh.. anyone remember that picture of a beholder wearing a thong? It was on the cover of an issue of Dragon magazine. Wait.. or was the beholder eating a thong? well... not a thong... but a bathing suit type of thong. If anyone can recall that a little more clearly or provide a link to a picture (not that I really want to see it again, mind you), that would be appreciated so I dont seem like more of a gibbering mouther... well, I'll be in this corner here:

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