Tomes and Illusions · Legacy archive

Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

Started by Agar Jun 25, 2003 28 posts Locked

  1. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #1
    This is just the movie, not any of the many game titles, books, or the Role playing game. You remember, the one with the Wayans brother, and the 'bad-ass' with the BLUE lipstick? Open up your own can of whoop ass and tell us how you really feel.

    :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
  2. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #2
    That movie was a total SHITFEST.
    It was as bad as Bill O'Reilly, one of the few people in the universe that I actually hate.
    It is was total crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrappitycrap!
    I wanted to use one of my katanas* to chop it into tiny peices!
    I wanted to burn it and stomp on it and kill the people who made it.

    And I made fun of it by calling that Dragon Staff thingy the "Crystal Wife-Beater".

    *Yes, I really do own katanas(samurai swords). I actually have six.
  3. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #3
    It sucked a gorilla's ass.
    It sucked on ice.
    It sucked here and there.
    It sucked everywhere.
    It sucked on a train.
    It sucked on a plane.
    It sucked with a fox.
    It sucked in a box.

    The D&D movie blows goats.

    Heh-heh. Crystal Wife-Beater. Heh.
  4. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #4
    lol you got CP going :P :hyper:
  5. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #5
    Oh dear God no...
  6. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #6
    You know those anthrax letters that went to Washington D.C.? Well, those were actually sent by me to the people who made the D&D movie, but by some strange twist of fate, they were sent to politicians instead.

    I would like to buy a copy and then summon Cthulhu to devour it.
  7. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #7
    well, if you take out the fact that its supposed to be D&D, the movie is ok. Its not very good, but its not THAT bad either!
  8. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #8
    Oh, yes. It IS THAT bad.

    In the name of all that is holy....WHYYYYYYYY??????


    There were a couple parts that I said, "Oh, cool." Some of the graphics were way cool. That is why I can't understand why they wasted it on such cheese and made so many parts so unrealistic and had such corny lines seeded throughout. Who was their target audience? 2nd graders? But then with all the dragon violence, that can't be right. And since when were dragons brainless tools? I am trying to remember the Dragonlance series to know if they were just horses with wings but I can't remember...

    Either way, I only had the heart to watch it once and have been to scared, no embarrassed, to rent it to give it one more look so my memory might be poor, but I know I hated it and cried afterwards. It had limitless potential and they turned it into crap.
  9. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #9
    Im with strolen. and wtf was up with that dwarf guy, his armor looked like plastic hah. and that dude with the blue lipstick lol :lol: :lol: :lol:
  10. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #10
    Hehhehheh! Crystal Wife-Beater! Hehhehheh!
  11. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #11
    What the HELL was the ending? Did that make any sense at all?
  12. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #12
    no of course the ending made no sence the movie is a crock of poo that has been freshly thrown by a monkey. :what:

    heh crystal wife-beater :lol:
  13. The same writers that made these movies

    #13
    The same writers that wrote this movie must of written all the MARVEL Movies before X-Men. You Know... Punisher. The Captain America Movie. The Fantastic Four Movie... a movie so bad that the production company refused to release it.

    The HORROR! The HORRORR!!

    Just when we think gaming will become a respectable main stream hobby, a blight like this movie occurs.

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  14. Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #14
    hey, I still say the movie was pretty good! The ending was explained too. Snails was the mage/peasants best friend. He gave his life for their cause. They are all going off to see Snails again, and become protectors of the realm! Its pretty easy to decipher once you stop saying "Oh how horrible!"
  15. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #15
    Now I know this topic has been quiet for a long time, but there was something I felt compelled to warn the citadel about.

    You might not have guessed this but they made a sequel.

    There is a second part. I couldnt sit through the entirety of the first movie, and after handling the box of the second I had to go wash my hands in hot bleach and soap.

    you got it, released straight to DVD, no namable actors or actresses...
  16. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #16
    DAMN YOU.

    I usually watch a move in the evening after a hardcore day of studying and when I was looking, because of this post, I kept going back to it reading the back, looking at the cheesy picture, putting it back on the wall resisting. But, like a siren, it was in my head, beckoning, calling, pleading that I view it. So....I have it....that and Heat so if it sucks bad I won't totally ruin my relaxation time.

    Will watch and tell.
  17. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #17
    Well, I can't remember the first one too much...blocked it from my memory, but the failing of it as a movie is that it seems to try and be a game session in the movies. It isn't that they use all the ideas from D&D but it is that they actually do D&D on the screen. It just doesn't directly translate into movies. From the view of a gaming session(s) it would have been a great game to play in. As far as a movie, naaaah. I didn't hate any of the characters as I seem to remember in the first, but it was still lacking and plot holes that would only be overlooked in a real gaming session.

    I wish they would just dump the D&D crap in the film and instead just use the ideas of the D&D world and build an actual movie around it instead of from it. All said, I didn't feel like I had my life sucked away like the first one...but that might be because of the extremely low expectations I had for it.

    I had to cringe watching the extras as the cast and crew talked so lovingly about it.
  18. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #18
    You are right... the first movie was so insanly maddening terrible, that I actualy thought that it would be impossilbe to make something that was more silly, more stupid, more terrible.... The sequel just HAD to be better.......

    The incredible thing happened, it is worse as the orgininal.... How did they manage that?

    With kind regards,

    Ylorea
  19. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #19
    I thought it was alot better than the first.  The characters had more depth...(were better actors as well) 
    I enjoyed the antics of the lich the most I think.  I would be lying if I said I thought the movie was terrible....although I do agree it lacked in certain areas...it is really hard to say that a movie failed when I found that I really enjoyed watching it.  (made me feel like I was watching a gaming session I had played once)  It was worth watching, just for that reason alone. 
  20. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #20
    Ylorea, you forgot the rule of sequels.  "If it has a nuber other than one in its name, then chances are 99 to 1 that it will be worst than the previous movie."
  21. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #21
    well, if you take out the fact that its supposed to be D&D, the movie is ok. Its not very good, but its not THAT bad either!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Now I know this topic has been quiet for a long time, but there was something I felt compelled to warn the citadel about.

    You might not have guessed this but they made a sequel.

    There is a second part. I couldnt sit through the entirety of the first movie, and after handling the box of the second I had to go wash my hands in hot bleach and soap.

    you got it, released straight to DVD, no namable actors or actresses...


    Oh my God! Nooo!

    I try to convince people that roleplaying is a genre. That sixteen year olds have their games and thirty year olds have other games... Kind of like how kids watch cartoons and grown ups watch drama, comedies, action and thriller movies. Kind of like how kids read Donald Duck and grown ups read the New York Times.

    As long as trash like this is published, roleplaying will never become socially acceptable
  22. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #22
    ... Now, you stay stuff like this as if I wasn't a twenty-two year old who still watches cartoons (and I don't mean just anime, I mean actual cartoons) and loathed reading the news.

    Who wants to be socially acceptable anyway?
  23. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #23
    what if you read the paper while tuned to Cartoon Network? What about channeling Dilbert into Fox News?
  24. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #24
    Oh you two! You are impossible!

    You understood what I meant! *gargh*

    ;)
  25. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #25
    Of course we did.  That's why we felt the need to mock you.  :twisted:

    And I still want to know what's the big draw about being socially acceptable.  *EG*
  26. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #26
    When people talk about their scuba diving, golf and horseback riding hobbies, I want to talk about roleplaying. Preferably without being branded as an anti-christ underground cult leader. Without being branded as an imbecile. Like the last time I talked about it with some people I had not met before (but who had played when they were teens). When I told them I GMed for a roleplaying group, they rolled their eyes and one of them exclaimed: "You STILL roleplay? I quit that when I was 17!"

    It is even worse with people who haven't played before.
  27. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #27
    I rather liked the sequel.  Had it been released as the original--and the first one instead released as the bigger-budget sequel--both would have done far better in total sales, and both would have been far better received.
  28. Re: Popular Fantasy: D&D the Movie

    #28
    Well, I finally watched the entire movie, the first one that is.

    Pros
    Damon Waynes as Snails was pretty funny, being the only sane one, dragons and mages, lets forget that, lay low and then come back and rob EVERYBODY! that was funny.

    The pert little Empress in the gold armor, sans dragon, pretty cool.

    The Master of Thieves guild, suitably slimey and weaselly

    Cons
    Riddley...sucked
    balf guy with blue lipstick...kept thinking of that episode of friends
    The over-acting evil mage
    Mages Versus Dragons
    Dragons sucked
    Naive twit mage referred to as Low-Level in the movie!
    Poor attempt at noble/commoner disputes as mage/commoner setting
    The black elf chick with the steel breast plate...with steel breasts

    Gah...it still sucked

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