Help needed with an Ocean submission

1. Help needed with an Ocean submission

   #1

   http://www.strolen.com/content.php?node=5763 (the link)
   
   I spent two days on it, it certainly is Quest-worthy, but it's also a huge mess. But I like the idea of it.

2. Re: Help needed with an Ocean submission

   #2

   I second Val in that I think the sub needs section headings. While on the whole I find the sub not hard to read in that each paragraph is short, it really needs sub-headings so you can separate out different content and make the piece flow. My suggestion is to break it up into the following sections: Description; Offense Capabilities- Man Power (I can't think of a better term but basically I mean fighting b/w marines); Offense apabilities- Cannons; Engagement/Communication with other ships; the Navy and its Fighting History.
   
   Hope that helps.
   
   

3. Re: Help needed with an Ocean submission

   #3

   yes what moonlake says is right and i agree with him... my inner felling always says this
   
   
   
   

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