Dragon muck

1. Dragon muck

   #1

   Any self-respecting dragon would not want to have faeces cluttering up his lair, so where do they go?
   
   1. Do they have manure-heaps in the valleys near to their cave?
   2. Do they excrete in flight and leave streaks of dragon-muck across swathes of deserted moorland?
   
   I'm just interested if anyone knows.
   
   ephe!

2. Dragon muck

   #2

   Here's an idea!
   
   They convert their waste into their breath weapons!

3. Dragon muck

   #3

   possible. I think they spread it in mid flight. This is why many grounds that require no care are always fertile!

4. Dragon muck

   #4

   But what if they happened to go on a cart?
   Ker_Plat! totally ick :o

5. Dragon muck

   #5

   they are probably vsin and wont do it if any humans are anywhere near!

6. Intelligent ones...

   #6

   They probably sell it to people for fertilizer.
   
   Other than that, they probably do what every cave dweller does, bury it outside.

7. Dragon muck

   #7

   a dragon thats intelligent would know better than to deal with humans. They tend to be panicky.

8. Dragon muck

   #8

   Whadya talkin about?
   
   All dragons are "that intelligent".
   They just don't want to deal with stupid, weak mortals!

9. Dragon muck

   #9

   yes, we would rather kill a dragon than bargain with it!

10. Dragon muck

    #10

    Here's an idea!
    
    They convert their waste into their breath weapons!

    
    
    While initially all I could think of was them eating it...but perhaps any waste they have from their food is internally turned into fuel for the breath weapon. They would HAVE to breathe their weapon periodically to purge the building up 'waste.'

11. Dragon muck

    #11

    thats possible! Actually a good idea!

12. Dragon muck

    #12

    Wouldn't their muck be dependent on their diet? Considering the numbers of brave knights and gentle damsels an average dragon is reputed to eat, wouldn't a dragon cave be littered with steel ignots and wads of silk? :twisted:

13. Dragon muck

    #13

    no, they eat people whole, cloathing and all!

14. Dragon muck

    #14

    Of course they eat them whole, the large lump of steel that is an ignot would be what comes out the other end...
    
    Hmmm. Could the digestive process make the steel into a new alloy with great properties for weaponsmiths? But how would they get ahold of it? Put a notice up and watch all the adventurers say "You want me to fill a wheel barrow with WHAT?"

15. Dragon muck

    #15

    no, with the fire in the dragins belly, the steel would be melted down along with the rest of the body.

16. Dragon muck

    #16

    :twisted: That might prove to be an interesting origin for adamantium or mithril ore...

17. Dragon muck

    #17

    thats possible, when the ancient dragons died, they were buried under many layers fo earth, As things tend to happen, and are now being dug up for their "waste"!!!!

18. Dragon muck

    #18

    I am glad at least somewhere the debate keeps the noble standards we try to uphold. :wink:
    
    
    Of Wyrmic Excrements
    
    It is a long and heated debate between sages and experts on the dragonkind about the details of a dragon's digestive system. While in some cases one may do the research through asking or simply peeking, the dragons are well-known for their need of privacy. Unfortunately, the other thing well-known about them is that any would-be researcher is likely to meet that digestive system in persona. Until we find a safer way, we can only create new and new theories... here come some.
    
    OK, what do we know about dragons:
    - dragons are large and powerful winged reptilias
    - most dragons are very intelligent and have sharp senses
    - dragons easily survive on a diet of knights and damsels, obviously flesh-eaters
    - on the other hand, they are reported to sleep for hundreds of years, not needing to eat
    - dragons seem to have a need of hoarding valuable items
    - dragons usually look down upon humans
    - they also have a dangerous breath weapon, usually of the fiery kind
    - dragons are said to be magic-knowing, and may be magical creatures themselves
    
    So, what can we deduce from this?
    
    Beings that eat, must naturally defecate in some sense. Certainly not all food cannot be used for growth, movement, or whatever. Advanced life-forms often find uses even for some parts of the undigestible substances. Hair and nails are only one example. Still, if something goes IN, something always must go OUT, so stuff can get in again.
    
    A great breath-weapon? If it is dependant on food, the dragon must eat to use it, and must use it to defecate. Would a starving dragon be unable to breath fire? Could it be possible, that this kind of digestion makes all dragons as aggressive as they are portrayed? I personally think The Breath (tm) is more tied to the dragon's magical nature, though I may be wrong. Sleep 500 years with a full bladder? Hmmmm....
    
    On the other hand, a truly magical creature could convert foodstuff into fire.
    
    If we agree on the existence of truly material excrements, we can ask the most obvious question: Where does it go?
    
    

    The heroes, magically silenced, advanced into the main hall. There, amidst cuntless heaps of gold and treasures, lays the sleeping dragon. One nod is enough, and the Maxi-Magical-Ballista (tm) is aimed and shoots...
    
    A great explosion thunders and the dragon's body swiftly vanishes, being only an illusion.
    ???!? :shock: The heroes are horrified. Another booming sound is heard, this time like the rushing of thousand rivers. A massive gate they somehow overlooked opens (marked with a strange golden double-zero symbol), and the dragon sitting on the toilet screams furiosly:
    "What are you doing there?!"
    

    
    It could be even this way.
    
    
    Dragons flying around and relieving themselves... sounds unprobable, but may be true. I think it was in The Hobbit or somewhere: "...a dragon can sleep very long, and when he wakes up, on the once bleak foothills grow mighty oaks hundreds of years old." But how could these begin to grow on bleak foothills, eh? Maybe a bit of 'fertiliser' was added after eating all those fat dwarwes?
    
    
    Dragons trading with humans? Much depends on the true reasons why dragons hoard wealth. As Groth Dragonslayer claimed: "They only do it to to irritate us!" (tragically deceased at first attempted dragon-slaying). Should this be true, dragons would gladly sell their excrements to humans, with a VERY bride smile.
    
    Some sages speculate dragons value the treasure not only for its value, but also for the challenge its former owners were. Capturing damsels to lure great heroes would make much more sense this way! So a hoard is not only a hoard, it is an ego-booster, and may mean prestige in the dragon community (speculating here). Therefore, trading to gain wealth would be very degrading for dragons. Unless it is a weak and desperate dragon, perhaps.
    
    ...and as for bad relations with humans, middlemen or middlecreatures can always be found.
    
    
    One final thought: what if the dragon 'marks' all his items? Dragons are said to be able of always finding their treasure. Maybe they can smell it? Think about it, before you bathe in that heap of gold! Even if you killed this one, other dragons exist...
    "Dragons want their items back." is the saying.
    
    
    (To Eph: "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." ~ Edgar Allen Poe
    
    Ahem... of what exactly do YOU dream? Dragons - OK. Dragons that fly - good. Dragons that fly and.... :what: )

19. Dragon muck

    #19

    One final thought: what if the dragon 'marks' all his items? Dragons are said to be able of always finding their treasure. Maybe they can smell it? Think about it, before you bathe in that heap of gold! Even if you killed this one, other dragons exist...
    "Dragons want their items back." is the saying.
    

    
    
    .... :what:
    
    By the way, wouldn't it kinda hurt to bathe in a heap of gold?

20. Dragon muck

    #20

    Where are you getting all of your information on dragons? It seems to me you share all the views of only one author (Tolkein). While Im not saying all of his stuff is wrong, I think that he improvised his own vision into the creation. The best info. is from a vast array of sources.

21. Dragon muck

    #21

    The reason is that most gaming systems do follow Tolkien's view of dragons, and Tolkien was only following the views of the Medieval British.

22. Dragon muck

    #22

    works, but as I said, I believe you need several views, and put them together to get the true sight!

23. Dragon muck

    #23

    Manfred has linked us to buried treasure!
    
    I keep getting these images of a man wheeling his cart along, when suddenly, a massive shadow passes over, and he's blasted with dragon-crap.

24. Dragon muck

    #24

    Maybe if a Dragon is angry with a village but not enough to destroy it, he/she divebombs it with poo and urine as a warning to the inhabitants. :twisted:

25. Dragon muck

    #25

    It could get twice as ironic, if the land was getting poor, but this great fertiliser produced fantastic harvest! Bet the farmers will welcome the dragon the next he flies around...

26. Dragon muck

    #26

    I always thought that dragons would be like owls, squishing all non-digestible matter into small pellets, then "releasing" them.
    
    Or maybe its up to we Dragonlords to shovel it....

27. Dragon muck

    #27

    Where does the dragon get its gold? While it can be argued that some comes from adventurers & would-be dragon slayers, the vast size of a stereotypical dragon hoard cannot be accounted for by such meal-remnants as what the dragon slayers had on them. Stealing from nearby peasants will never result in great wealth, and stealing from a king or other person of import will only bring down the wrath of an army upon the dragon.
    
    Maybe the gold is from some other source. Maybe it's not really gold at all.. maybe the hoard only coloured gold after it passes through the dragon...

28. Dragon muck

    #28

    Oh, I can just about imagine the faces of my players as they finally realize they just stole half the crap of the dragon's hoard... It does raise the question whether dragons are some kind of sickos, as they know the location of every single piece of their hoard..... (Deep, rumbling voice) "Some crap is missing!"

29. Dragon muck

    #29

    Manfred has linked us to buried treasure!
    
    I keep getting these images of a man wheeling his cart along, when suddenly, a massive shadow passes over, and he's blasted with dragon-crap.

    
    
    Maybe if the dragon was an exceptionally good shot. Or had eaten too much the night previously.
    
    Thanks, Cap. Now I'm afraid to go adventuring without bringing a +1 umbrella with protection from dung.

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