[DELETED] Destiny

1. [DELETED] Destiny

   #1

   Destiny | Angel | Other | Deaths pathway | Male | Author: foxylady13
   
   She is deaths pathway she choses your destiny after life. Your whole future depends on her.
   
   
   Equipment
   A necklace which holds a red ruby which cannot be broken or removed from Destiny it holds the key to death
   
   Appearance
   She has long black straight hair which has streaks of golden blonde. She is a resonable height, her eyes are a dark black or blue depending on where she is sending them. She wears a long deep red dress. She hair is always down.
   
   Background
   She doesnt really have a history ever since she was born she had been the chosen one. She never had any friends or anything more all she had was herself. Thats the way she learnt to deal with things.
   | | Hits 158 | Added 09.07.04 13:30 | Votes 3 Rating 1.00
   
   Comments
   EchoMirage Submitted: 09.08.04 09:33
   
   Uh-kay.
   I did not get it. Who is it? What does she do? How is this post supposed to be used?
   
   And please, correct the 'no histor' thing. Will you? *puppy eyes* pwetty pweeze!
   Taxus Submitted: 09.08.04 10:28
   
   I cannot vote. It just says "thank you for voting for this item" although, I haven't voted.
   Taxus Submitted: 09.08.04 10:41
   
   Might as well comment on this one then. Basically, check your punctuation and grammar. It makes it a lot easier for us to read your post if it written using proper language and so on. And it usually gives you a better rating too, so it's worthwile to check your post after posting it. We don't aim for perfect English here, just something, that can be read with ease.
   
   Also, when you are posting keep these things in mind: What makes this post unique, something that we enjoy or want to read? Is it something that can be used in other games with the information you provide? Is it something that is worth using? If you keep these things in mind and read your own post through, I think, you will notice yourself that especially the background-section needs more details. Of course she has a history, eventhough she is "the chosen one". Sha hasn't just popped up as an adult somewhere, has she? And also, what does it mean, if she's "the chosen one"? What does she do then? It doesn't help us if you tell us that "She's the great goopretalgoron(not a real word)" if we don't know what does it mean, or what does she do. If you give more details and try to be unique, I'm sure you'll get better ratings. Check some of the 5 rated NPC's to see what kind of posts are appreciated (in details, not in style. Your style is your own).
   MoonHunter Submitted: 09.08.04 12:08
   
   A good idea with potential, so badly executed that it is laughable. Please look at some of the 4 and 5 star characters are edit this character to meet at least the standards of a 3 star.
   
   
   Maggot Submitted: 11.05.04 06:27
   
   I guess foxy lady doesn't really care what we think,aye?
   

   
   
   Prepared for the next week. It will probably not change until then.

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