Quotes...got any? — Legacy Forums

Re: Quotes...got any?

#81

" Thou shalt not believe anything you read" - principia discordia
"you shall cut down the tallest tree in the forest, with ... A HERRING!" - the quest for the holy grail
"when the coppers see us, at first they pull their guns, but when they see us walking towards they turn around and run" - the band skrewdriver

Re: Quotes...got any?

#82

CaptainPenguin - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL THINKING
CaptainPenguin - "WHY REGISTER? WHY BUY THE COW WHEN I GET THE MILK FOR FREE?"
CaptainPenguin - WHY?
CaptainPenguin - THE JOYS OF CONTRIBUTING, OF COURSE....
CaptainPenguin - AS WELL AS THE WARM FUZZY FEELING OF BEING PART OF A COMMUNITY OF FRIENDS!
CaptainPenguin - JOIN TODAY!
Roack - BUT CAPTAIN, IS IT TRUE THAT STROLEN'S CITADEL MAY INCREASE BAD CHOLESTEROL?
CaptainPenguin - NO, IN FACT, IN STUDIES, STROLEN'S CITADEL HAS BEEN SHOWN TO ACTUALLY
CaptainPenguin - KICK YOUR HEART'S ASS INTO GEAR, AND GET THAT LITTLE BASTARD PUMPIN'
CaptainPenguin - PUSHING OUT BAD CHOLESTEROL.
CaptainPenguin - IT CAN ALSO CAUSE YOU TO BE A BETTER LOVER!
CaptainPenguin - SIDE EFFECTS OF STROLEN'S CITADEL ARE MINIMAL BUT CAN INCLUDE WINNING MILLIONS OF DOLLARS
CaptainPenguin - AND GETTING FREE PIZZAS
CaptainPenguin - STROLEN'S CITADEL WILL DEFINITELY CURE YOUR ACNE
CaptainPenguin - AND I *KNOW* YOU HAVE IT

----------------------------------------------

CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:19am) Hello there, anonymous Guests.
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:19am) How are you this fine evening?
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:19am) I ENCOURAGE ALL OF YOU
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:19am) TO LOOK OVER HERE
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:19am) AND SEE THIS MESSAGE:
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:19am) Join the Citadel!
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:19am) Get comradeship, creativity, and community!
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:20am) WOOHOO
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:20am) Being a member of this site is a great big party ALL THE TIME
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:20am) EXCEPT WHEN THERE'S NOBODY TO TALK TO!
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:20am) SO JOIN UP AND TALK TO ME, YOU HOSERS!
Rei: (Sunday, 1:31am) WAOH!! Easy captain!
Roack: (Sunday, 1:35am) What type of Party?
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:54am) A political party.
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 1:54am) We're the Mutagenic Revolutionary Robot's Alliance
Roack: (Sunday, 2:05am) um.. hooray?
Andimia: (Sunday, 2:09am) sounds fun
CaptainPenguin: (Sunday, 2:31am) Oh, you have NO idea.
EchoMirage: (Sunday, 5:14am) yeehaw, I guess.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#83

Someone besides me has actually heard The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged? I can die happy!

Note that if there's no source, then it's because the person I stole the quote from didn't care to tell me who they stole it from.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

"Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear brighter before they speak"

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going, and the intelligent survive."

"Correct a wise man, and he will thank you. Correct a fool, and he will hate you."

"Leave the presence of a fool" - The Bible

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." - Bertrand Russell

"Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends" - Francis Bacon

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain

Re: Quotes...got any?

#84

Soylent Green is people!

Re: Quotes...got any?

#85

"no son of a bitch ever won a war by dying for his country, he won it by giving the other goddamn son of a bitch the chance to die for his country." patton

"well, it's been a good fight, you only won 'cause you had more irish than us." - General Lee to grant.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#86

"Quack, d**n you." - Jamie, MythBusters

"Oh my God, I'm as crazy as my mother!" - Rodney, Robots

"All is chaos under heaven, and the situation is excellent." - Chairman Mao (I think, I could be wrong.)

Re: Quotes...got any?

#87

"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty."
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

"Wit is educated insolence."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

"Become who you are." (advice to gamers)
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Ideas are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny."
- Carl Schurz (1829-1906)

"Destiny is not a matter of change, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."
- William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)

Upon thinking about posting on the site.
"Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’."
- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
- Tom Clancy (1947-), paraphrasing Mark Twain

"For there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so."
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet, II.ii

"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better."
- A. J. Liebling (1904-1963)

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)

"Vote early and vote often."
- Al Capone (1899-1947)

"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
- Dennis Wholey (1937-)

"The average person thinks he isn’t."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni

Truth
"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

The Truth only hurts when it ought too.
- :)

"Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong."
- Ayn Rand (1905-1982)

"I have no data yet. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts."
- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930), Sherlock Holmes

"We must have strong minds, ready to accept facts as they are."
- Harry S Truman (1884-1972)

Some general favorites
"Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."
- Proverb

"You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same."
- Unknown

"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

"Good teaching is one-forth preparation and three-fourths theater."
- Gail Godwin

"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity."
- Irving Kristol (1920-)

"When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail."
- Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)

"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock."
- Orson Welles (1915-1985)

"Religion hinges upon faith, politics hinges upon who can tell the most convincing lies or maybe just shout the loudest, but science hinges upon whether its conclusions resemble what actually happens."
- Ian Stewart (1945-)

Just Fun
"If everything is under control, you are going too slow."
- Mario Andretti (1940-)

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die."
- Klingon Proverb, Star Trek

Re: Quotes...got any?

#88

Quotes from C.S. Lewis that I find particularly enlightening.

"100 per cent of us die, and the percentage cannot be increased."

"Whenever you find a man who says he doesn't believe in a real Right and Wrong, you will find the same man going back on this a moment later."

"Reality, in fact, is always something you couldn't have guessed. That's one of the reasons I believe Christianity. It's a religion you couldn't have guessed."

"Disobedience to conscience is voluntary; bad poetry, on the other hand, is usually not made on purpose."

"Only the skilled can judge the skillfulness, but that is not the same as judging the value of the result."

"In the midst of a world of light and love, of song and feast and dance, could find nothing to think of more interesting than his own prestige."

"A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional...values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process."

"If the universe is so bad...how on earth did human beings ever come to attribute it to the activity of a wise and good Creator?"

"Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment."

"We regard God as an airman regards his parachute; it's there for emergencies but he hopes he'll never have to use it."

"'You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve,' said Aslan. 'And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor in earth.'"

"A young man who wishes to remain a sound Atheist cannot be too careful of his reading. There are traps everywhere--'Bibles laid open, millions of surprises,' as Herbert says, 'fine nets and stratagems.' God is, if I may say it, very unscrupulous."

"The human mind has no more power of inventing a new value than of planting a new sun in the sky or a new primary colour in the spectrum..."

"The very idea of freedom presupposes some objective moral law which overarches rulers and ruled alike...Unless we return to the crude and nursery-like belief in objective values, we perish."

"Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning..."

"Unless thought is valid we have no reason to believe in the real universe."

"Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst."

"You cannot study Pleasure in the moment of the nuptial embrace, nor repentance while repenting, nor analyze the nature of humour while roaring with laughter."

"The surest way of spoiling a pleasure to start examining your satisfaction."

"Where, except in the present, can the Eternal be met?"

"The claim to equality, outside the strictly political field, is made only by those who feel themselves to be in some way inferior."

"The true enjoyments must be spontaneous and compulsive and look to no remoter end."

"Many things--such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly--are done worst when we try hardest to do them."

"Now that I am a Christian I do not have moods in which the whole thing looks very improbable: but when I was an atheist I had moods in which Christianity looked terribly probable."

"No philosophical theory which I have yet come across is a radical improvement on the words of Genesis, that 'In the beginning God made Heaven and Earth'."

"Mercy, detached from Justice, grows unmerciful."

"Some people probably think of the Resurrection as a desperate last moment expedient to save the Hero from a situation which had got out of the Author's control."

'We do not truly see light, we only see slower things lit by it, so that for us light is on the edge--the last thing we know before things become too swift for us.'"

"These things are not strange, Small One, though they are beyond our senses."

"A creature revolting against a creator is revolting against the source of his own powers--including even his power to revolt...It is like the scent of a flower trying to destroy the flower."

"Really, a young Atheist cannot guard his faith too carefully. Dangers lie in wait for him on every side."

"And then she understood the devilish cunning of the enemies' plan. By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lie far stronger."

"Hatred obscures all distinctions."

"The essence of religion, in my view, is the thirst for an end higher than natural ends..."

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

"In coming to understand anything we are rejecting the facts as they are for us in favour of the facts as they are."

Re: Quotes...got any?

#89

"Holding onto anger is like grabbing onto a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone in the end your the one who gets burned."

-Buhdda

Re: Quotes...got any?

#90

Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Re: Quotes...got any?

#91

Disney Movies get very little credit.

Milo: Will you look at the size of this? It's gotta be half a mile, at least. It-It must have taken hundred... No, thousands of years to carve this thing.
[Vinny blows it up, and it falls down over a chasm]
Vinny: Hey, look, I made a bridge. It only took me like, what? Ten seconds? Eleven, tops.

Mercs, the story of my PCs.
Milo: I know, I know. Sometimes I get a little carried away. But, hey, you know, that's what this is all about, right? I mean, discovery, teamwork, adventure. Unless, maybe, you're just in it for the money.
Audrey: Money.
Wilhelmina: Money.
Dr. Sweet: Money.
Mole: Money.
Vinny: I'm gonna have to say... money.
Milo: Well, I guess I set myself up for that one.

Milo: So, I guess this is how it ends, huh? Fine, you win. You're wiping out an entire civilization, but, hey, you'll be rich. Congratulations, Audrey. Guess you and your dad will be able to open that second garage after all. And, Vinny, you-you can start a whole chain of flower shops. I'm sure your family's going to be very proud. But that's what it's all about, right? Money.
Commander Rourke: Get off your soapbox, Thatch. You've read Darwin. It's called natural selection. We're just helping it along.

Yummy...
Cookie: I got your four basic food groups! Beans, bacon, whisky and lard.

Princess Kida: You are a scholar, are you not? Judging from your diminished physique and large forehead, you are suited for nothing else!

Vinny: We've done a lot of things we're not proud of. Robbing graves, plundering tombs, double parking. But, nobody got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.

Commander Rourke: "Mercenary"? I prefer the term "adventure capitalist".

Milo: Excuse me, you dropped your dy... dy... dynamite!
[Nervous laugh]
Milo: What else have you, uh, got in there?
Vinny: Oh, er... gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and... paper clips, big ones. You know, just, uh, office supplies.

This is why I hate the doctor's.
Dr. Sweet: Milo Thatch... You're my three o'clock.
[Pulls out a huge saw]
Milo: Oh boy!
Dr. Sweet: Nice, uh? The catalog says this little baby can saw through a femur in twenty-eight seconds. I'm betting I can cut that time in half.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#92

"I'm not a baby, I am a man.
I am an anchorman!"

-Ron Burgundy

Re: Quotes...got any?

#93

From as of yet unnamed and unfinished story--

"So what now, Kyler, son of Lukis? Do you return in triumph to the capital, turning me over to the authorities to put me on trial for my many crimes?"
"Uh, no, actually. What happens now is that I kill you, then go home, loot the nearest tomb, get roaring drunk, and hopefully pass out in the arms of some busty serving wench after some heavy breathing."
"WHAT?!"
"Oh, I see the problem. You've confused my with a hero. I'm just a guy with a destiny I didn't want. All I want is to make sure my friends and family are as safe as I can reasonably expect them to be. Well, that, a s**tload of money and girls falling all over me, but really, who doesn't want that?"
- Evil Overlord and Kyler, Thief Extraordinare

"Don't worry. We're here to help. For your own protection, you should leave the premises. But first, give us all of your medical supplies, money, and any and all shiny objects." - Laranya, Warrior

"You have nothing to worry about. My sister and I are experts in the fine art of tomb and temple looting." - Kyler

And other stuff-

"You mean, does anything really matter? Here's a better question. Does it matter if it matters?" - Wrench, Antihero for Hire

"Shut your stupidity hole. I don't care what your plan is. Chances are it's needlessly complicated and orbital." - Shadehawk, Antihero for Hire

"All I know is, I touched it, then this thing jumped out and proceeded to kill itself." - my brother

Re: Quotes...got any?

#94

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself."
Peter O'Toole.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#95

"Anything grows in everything."
That's a personal quote. I came up with that beauty very late at night.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#96

Which is better: to have fun with fungi or to have Idiocy with ideology, to have wars because of words, to have tomorrow's misdeeds out of yesterday's miscreeds?
-Aldous Huxley

The vast majority of human beings dislike and even actually dread all notions with which they are not familiar... Hence it comes about that at their first appearance innovators have generally been persecuted, and always derided as fools and madmen -Aldous Huxley

The traveller's-eye view of men and women is not satisfying. A man might spend his life in trains and restaurants and know nothing of humanity at the end. To know, one must be an actor as well as a spectator.
-Aldous Huxley

There is no substitute for talent. Industry and all its virtues are of no avail.
-Aldous Huxley

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which mean never losing your enthusiasm.
-Aldous Huxley

The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different.
-Aldous Huxley

That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep.
-Aldous Huxley

Re: Quotes...got any?

#97

I am an animal lover and own many; horses, hounds, falcons, peasants...
-Lord Sir Edric Morgandale

Re: Quotes...got any?

#98

"I love lamp" - Brick Tamlin

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction there, and he merely hoped there wasn't an afterlife." - Douglas Adams

"Well, tell her you'll have your entourage of milatant Jewish people bludgeon her to death with kosher meats." That's one of my own. :up:

"There's a pack of snarling bananas in my bathroom and a giant cucumber in my kitchen." -Steve Dallas, The Bloom County Picayune.

"Did Doogie Houser just steal my car?"- Harold Lee, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.

"It's like a scum-bag yard sale"- Murphy MacManus, The Boondock Saints.

"I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't reproduce to save it's species"- Narrator, Fight Club.

"They need panda porn" - Jon Stewart, The Daily Show

"There comes a time in everyone's life when the must choose between the path that is easy, and the path that is right."... I can't remember who said that.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#99

What I've Learned: Homer Simpson
Nuclear-power-plant safety inspector, 39, Springfield

When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word.

There is no such thing as a bad doughnut.

Kids are like monkeys, only louder.

If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.

There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: They were invented by a giant, superintelligent slug named Dennis.

You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me -- it'll save you a lot of hassle.

You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.

I enjoy the great taste of Duff. Yes, Duff is the only beer for me. Smooth, creamy Duff . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies.

You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions.

There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.

The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.

There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them -- starting with 8. I've always hated 8.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "My God! He's covered in some sort of goo," I'd be a rich man.

Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.

I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now.

Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler.

I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.

Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.

Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.

Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean.

I never ate an animal I didn't like.

A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something.

I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off.

Never leave your car keys in a reactor core.

Always trust your first instinct -- unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray.

When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.

If a spaceship landed and aliens took me back to their planet and made me their leader, and I got to spend the rest of my life eating doughnuts and watching alien dancing girls and ruling with a swift and merciless hand? That would be sweet.

I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest.

Never throw a butcher knife in anger.

The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there.

My favorite color is chocolate.

Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.

The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts.

If doctors are so right, why am I still alive?

I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger.

Always have plenty of clean white shirts and blue pants.

When that guy turned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of us Duff drinkers.

I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work.

When I'm dead, I'm going to sleep. Oh, man, am I going to sleep.

What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway?

Re: Quotes...got any?

#100

"I don't write my characters. I just write what they do."

"Wow, this scene is turning out a lot differently than I expected it would. These characters have minds of their own."
- Crack of Crack and Doom Productions.

"Being surprised by your own characters is the sign of good characters."
- Doom's (of Crack and Doom Productions) writing professor

"I know these things happen, I understand that. I just wish they'd stop happening to me." - me

"It was never impossible, just harder." - Sidney Poitier

"There goes the power... There goes the window... There goes my brother... There goes the meeting." - untitled story

"Think of all the possibilities! Ransom! Bait! Revenge!"
"... The Phantom has good taste."
"Good! Good! Personal pleasure, I overlooked that one!"
- Xander Drax and Cabai Sang, The Phantom

"I'm of the opinion that one should love everybody who ain't a jerk." - EchoMirage

"I assure you, being a jackass is it's own punishment." - Wulfhere

"He's not God. He's just a judge." - overheard at the County Courthouse

"They're violent and they're dangerous, but they're all nice guys." - Quatre Raebera Winner, Gundam Wing

I can't brain today because I have the dumb.

"I don't like being watched. I like to conduct my evil deeds in private." - Murometz

Life's wierd. Enjoy it.

"Sometimes you have to close your eyes to see." - Bon Jovi, "Wherever You Are"

"I have no wish to fight you. But I will if I must." - StarFire, Teen Titans

"I can be very dangerous when I don't know what I'm doing." - The Doctor, Doctor Who

"I will not read your book of meanness and swirls!" - StarFire, Teen Titans

Re: Quotes...got any?

#101

"There are some who desire knowledge merely for its own sake; and that is shameful curiosity. And there are others who desire to know, in order that they may themselves be known; and that is vanity, disgraceful too. Others again desire knowledge in order to acquire money or preferment by it; that too is a discreditable quest. But there are also some who desire knowledge, that they may build up the souls of others with it; and that is charity. Others, again, desire it that they may themselves be built up thereby; and that is prudence. Of all these types, only the last two put knowledge to the right use."
-St. Bernard

"The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins - but in the heart of its strength lies weakness: one lone candle is enough to hold it back.
Love is more than a candle.
Love can ignite the stars."
-Matthew Stover, Revenge of the Sith

"Your analogies really are the best."
"I know. I'm like a shark. I just have to... keep making analogies."
-Tycho and Gabe, Penny Arcade

"If you see the Noid, tell him if he ruins the freshness of my pizza, I'll snap his neck."
-Adam West

"Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"
-Fry, Futurama

Re: Quotes...got any?

#102

"Dude your phone's ringing."
"Phone's rining Dude."
-The Big Lebowski

Re: Quotes...got any?

#103

"It's candy that tastes like chicken, if chicken were candy." -Toki Wartooth

"Holy crap, are those arms?" -Cyanide and Happiness

"Live and don't learn, that's us." -Calvin & Hobbes

"You...you know about the rubber band thingy?" -Bucky Katt, Get Fuzzy

"God hates New Jersey." -T-shirt

"I'll get you a satanic mechanic." -Dr. Frank N' Furter, Rocky Horror Picture Show

"So bitter is it that death is little more" -Dante, Divine Comedy

"Any day I can say quirk, is a good day." :D

Re: Quotes...got any?

#104

"Guys! Guys! Guys, you're scaring the straights!" - Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters II

"Ray, I would like to shoot the monster, can you move please?" - Dr. Egon Spengler, Ghostbusters II

"Why am I drippings with goo?" - Yanash, Ghostbusters II

"We made our toaster dance." - Winston, Ghostbusters II

Anyone want to guess what I've been watching?

Re: Quotes...got any?

#105

I blame Ria for all of this.......

[business is terrible at Ghostbusters]
Janine Melnitz: [answers the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters... Yes, of course they're serious... You do?... You have?... No kidding. Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you
[hangs up]
Janine Melnitz: WE GOT ONE!

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gozer: [Evil voice] Are you a God?
Dr Ray Stantz: [Looks at Peter, Peter nods] No.
Gozer: Then... DIE!
[Electrocutes the Ghostbusters; pushing them to the edge of the apartment building; people screaming]
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a *God*, you say "YES"!

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Dr. Peter Venkman: That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.

>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Right. That's bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nice shootin', Tex!

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [the team walks toward Gozer] Grab your sticks.
Dr Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore, Dr. Egon Spengler: HOLDING!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'um up!
Dr Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore, Dr. Egon Spengler: SMOKIN'!
[Gozer growls]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Bang 'em hard!
Dr Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore, Dr. Egon Spengler: READY!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric &^%$@ how we do thing downtown. THROW IT!

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Winston Zeddemore: Hey, wait a minute. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hold it. Now, are we actually gonna go before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian God is going to drop in on Central Park West, and start tearing up the city?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sumerian, not Babylonian.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah. Big difference.
Winston Zeddemore: No offense, guys, but I've gotta get my own lawyer.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. All my readings point to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.
Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh,okay. I get it. We only get one chance at this people. Close your minds. Don't think of anything.
Gozer: (Instantly) The Choice is made!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Ho! Ho! Whoa-oa!
Gozer: The Traveller has come!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nobody choosed anything!
[turns to Egon]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Did you choose anything?
Dr. Egon Spengler: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Winston] Did YOU?
Winston Zeddemore: My mind is totally blank.
Dr. Peter Venkman: *I* didn't choose anything...
[long pause, Peter, Egon and Winston all look at Ray]
Dr Ray Stantz: I couldn't help it. It just popped in there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What? *What* "just popped in there?"
Dr Ray Stantz: I... I... I tried to think...
Dr. Egon Spengler: LOOK!
[they all look over one side of the roof]
Dr Ray Stantz: No! It CAN'T be!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What is it?
Dr Ray Stantz: It CAN'T be!
Winston Zeddemore: What did you DO, Ray?
Dr Ray Stantz: Oh, s**t!
[they all see a giant cubic white head topped with a sailor hat, Peter looks at Ray]
Dr Ray Stantz: It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Dr. Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong, this Mr. Stay Puft's okay, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.

Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no dick.
Walter Peck: Jeez!
[Charges at Venkman]
Mayor: Break it up! Hey, break this up! Break it up!
Walter Peck: All right, all right, all right!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's what I heard!

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dana Barrett: [possessed by Zuul] Do you want this body?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question?

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Winston Zeddemore: Do you believe in God?
Dr Ray Stantz: Never met him.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Dr. Peter Venkman: Hee hee. "Get her." That was your whole plan. I like it; it was scientific.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Library Administrator: What's has that got to do with it?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

>>>>>>>>>>>>
And a personal favorite
Dr. Peter Venkman: I've been slimed.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#106

Glad to be of service. My turn. Of course, you've already gotten most of the good ones.

Dana Barrett (to Peter Venkman): "You are so odd...

----------------

Egon Spengler: "Venkman, shorten your stream! I don't want my face burned off!"

----------------

Ray Stantz: "Your girlfriend is living in the corner penthouse of Spook Central."

----------------

Dana Barrett (possessed by Zuul): "There is no Dana. Only Zuul."

----------------

Peter Venkman: "What are we doing today, Zuulie?"

Yeah, I'm a dork.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#107

I can only think of one at the moment.

Step 1. Find your cousin.
Step 2. Get your cousin in the cannon.
Step 3. Find another cousin. - Fodder Cannon, Magic the Gathering

a lot of rp characters stay in inns, here are some real-life houskeeping quotes.

#108

these are some work quotes, may not be as funny as when you're surrounded by other women in maid outfits (I work in a fancy 10 room upscale inn that dosent allow children)
bear in mind that we could make a sailor blush, so if you're faint of heart read no further. and do keep in mind we're joking,but it makes being a maid enjoyable... slightly.

most common quote said by me while cleaning bathrooms/showers:
"Oh god I hope that's soap"

my boss (who's 26) instructing somebody on cleaning the whirlpool:
worker: "How many hairs can i leave in here?"
boss: "this is a five star hotel so only two max. Holiday Inn allows eight."

myself when I feel a strange object wrapped in the bed sheets:
"Oh god I hope that's the remote."

one of my co-workers cleaning a bathroom floor:
"I'm dead serious, Sasquach must have been sighted in here last night. no human could shed this much in one day."

maid one: "Is that a pillow fort?"
maid two: "I think its more like a pyramid."

"Don't look at me, all I'm good for is cleaning toilets."

coworker explaining to me why it's important to make sure the door to the service stairs is locked:
"It like being in an insane asylum, we want to keep all the crazy people up there."

Boss: "If we ever find a dead person in a room I quit."
myself: "Amen."
co-worker: "me too."

"I don't want to find any more suprises in this room unless it's in the form of a large tip."

"We're going to need some serious therapy after cleaning this room."

a peaceful afternoon hand-pressing sheets in the ironing room:
"Quiet blondie or thoes nylons will become a permanent part of your skin."
followed by a pause and the speaker trying to maintain a serious face

so next time you run a campaign and an inn is involved, give a small cameo to the housekeeping staff. they've seen things that would make an ordinary person insane.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#109

Quotes to Ponder for Writers

VOLTAIRE - "Art must entertain and enlighten. To do only one, is a waste of time and effort."

HARLAN ELLISON - "Put everything down on paper, you can edit the crap out later."

FRANK SINATRA - "Work as if immediately after finishing the project you are going to drop dead, and it is by this one thing, and this one thing only, that you will be remembered...or forgotten."

HOWARD HAWKS - "There are five simple rules for telling a good story: you must have a scene where everybody cheers the hero, and a scene where they all boo the villain, a scene where they gasp in horror, a scene where they burst into laughter, and DON'T *$#% UP THE REST!"

ERNEST HEMINGWAY - "From page one, light a fire under the reader that is only extinguished with the words 'The End'."

ROBERT A. HEINLEIN - "The first line of a novel denotes the basic thrust of the entire work."

FAULKNER - "There is truly only one plot in all of fiction - the human heart in
conflict with itself."

Re: Quotes...got any?

#110

"Iron Spike: 1
Stone Giant: 0"

--Shadoweagle, after stuffing a foot of iron into a giant's adam's apple.

Re: Quotes...got any?

#111

That one should be in http://www.strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,284.0.html

Re: Quotes...got any?

#112

"There's definitely a very slim chance we might survive." - Egon Spengler, Ghostbusters

Re: Quotes...got any?

#113

That should be in http://www.strolen.com/guild/index.php/topic,127.210.html

I feel like I should have a little yellow flag or some yellow cards and a black and white shirt. Tweet! Foul. Posting in the Wrong Thread, Offense. 5 yards!

Re: Quotes...got any?

#114

And you posted how many Ghostbusters quotes on the previous page?

Re: Quotes...got any?

#115

I know. I should be flogged. I think I posted them in both.

So more quotes anyone?

Re: Quotes...got any?

#116

"Axe dude on your back, parasite on your lef- did you just shoot that guy in the crotch?" - me

Re: Quotes...got any?

#117

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. " - Albert Eistein(1879-1955) German-born American Physicist

"Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own." - Aesop(620-560BC) Legendary Greek Fabulist

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. - Dale Carnegie(1888-1955) American Educator

"Four things to learn in life: To think clearly without hurry or confusion; To love everybody sincerely; To act in everything with the highest motives; To trust God unhesitatingly. " - Helen Keller(1880-1968) American Blind/Deaf Author, Lecturer, Amorist

"Don't wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day." - Albert Camus(1913-1960) Algerian-French Novelist, Essayist, Playwright

Found a source for quotes www.yuni.com

Re: Quotes...got any?

#118

More work quotes (reminder: I work in a hotel)

Meghan (my boss): "I'm almost as good as Jesus!"

Meghan: "You suck at your job, no offense."
Me: "None taken."

Me: "the water looks blue"
Sheila: "It's green"
Me: "It's blue"
Sheila: "It's green"
Me: "that's not a very positive color for bathtub water"
Sheila: "Green is a positive color you bitch!"

Meghan: "They're just jealous because we get to drink on the job." (we don't I swear)

Meghan examining sheets: "is this chocolate or blood?"
Me: "for our sanity its chocolate, but contaminated chocolate, have some gloves."

Meghan: "This bed is the hardest to make because you have to work around this darn pole."
Me: "I thought that you're good at working around poles, BAZZZZZZZZZING!"

Me (singing to my boss): "Anger doesn't look good on you."
Meghan: "have you ever heard of the word insubordination!" (it's her favorite word)

Re: Quotes...got any?

#119

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're a chaos god, not a Barbie doll!"
"But... it's soft..."
- A friend and me, during a very bizarre conversation

Re: Quotes...got any?

#120

"Nooooo! My bad-asses! Curse you, force field!" - Me, don't ask