EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

1. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #1

   Evil is overcoming Strolen GET OUT BEFORE Voldemort strikes you with the strongest spell ever..
   Die!!You will not survive in this game with me around
   i am stronger than the Administrators so what newbie?!!I am Voldemort!!

2. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #2

   *laughs histerrically* You? Powerful? Dont make me laugh...
   Good luck with your "plans" to take over strolen... *laughs a little more*

3. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #3

   I do not suffer fools gladly.
   Put a pin in your ballooning ego.

4. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #4

   Yeah, see, imaginary power is nothing compared to actual power.

5. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #5

   I actually hate getting my soul sucked out of my chest. The last time somebody said "Die!!" to me I think I had to blow my nose. But I had a cold so wasn't sure that it was the spell or pollen in the air.
   
   I love the enthusiasm though!!!

6. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #6

   ...Laddie-o, be quiet before I eat you.

7. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #7

   ...And before you think of threatening to kill me with "the strongest spell ever", I should warn you that I used to hang around a Chaos Adept. Spells that can be measured don't really stack up against that...

8. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #8

   Ra entered the scenario. He was 6’3” tall, very thin, with pale skin and dark pits of eyes. His hair was a deep copper. He looked about the courtyard, or was it a tavern? Some kind of magic was being worked here to confuse his senses. He looked at the others. There were 5 guys and a really cute chick, but she’d better not hear him thinking that. He hoped she wasn’t telepathic.
   
   One of the five guys was pretty rough looking, you know, that kind of jaded appearance that comes with serving evil. Ra sensed that the magic was emanating from this dude, and that the others had been stunned into inaction by some enchantment. His hand went automatically for the hilt of Excalibur, but he could not draw it. He looked into the dark one’s eyes, and saw………..
   
   eternity within those eyes. History had no meaning for this creature. It was from before the dawn of time. Obviously this was going to take more than a magic sword.
   
   ‘I know you!!!’ said Ra. ‘Did anyone catch his name?’ he cast about to the assembled group.

9. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

   #9

   *falls our of his leather padded chair in his comfortable office and rolls on the floor laughing his ass off*
   
   wow some body been reading to much harry pothead or hanging over the bong tube too long.
   
   *laughs so bad he accdiently steps on voldermorts over inflated ego, oops, keeps on laughing*

10. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

    #10

    Don't encourage him, boys.

11. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

    #11

    Ra looked down at his hand. Instead of a sword, his hand held a strange plastic tube. A beer glass in front of him morphed into a computer. He looked at the screen. It appeared to be some kind of Forum. He read on. What was Luke going on about? This was serious stuff. He looked around the room. He was alone. He looked at the plastic tube in his hand. ‘It’s a sword’ he thought, and the plastic tube turned back into Excalibur. He hauled the sword out of his scabbard and thrust it deep into the CPU. The scene changed and he saw the creature on the end of his sword.
    
    ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘I thought you were a computer. *I do hope your character can withstand this kind of thing.*’
    
    ‘Must have caught a virus!’ he quipped to the others. They groaned. Ra was famous mainly for his BAD sense of humour. He wondered if he’d interfered with some strange religious ceremony?
    
    ‘Damn!!!’, he thought, ‘She must’ve heard m…..’ he laughed, slightly nervously, and looked at the ground.
    
    ‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘was that your pet?’ He wiped the sticky green ooze off his sword as the creature turned into a pretty butterfly that was snapped up by a chequered chameleon. The chameleon was sitting on a chess board, but it was obviously colour blind as the chess board was black and white, whereas the chameleon was green and pink. This gave him an unnerving sense that he’d done something wrong. ‘So….. how’s tricks?’ He waited….. ‘It’s not so bad, I didn’t cut him to PCs’ They groaned again, louder and longer this time. Ra decided to shut up.
    
    *Actually, I’ve never read Harry P. I’m so vain, I probably think this book’s about me. If you look closely, my name is cunningly spelt backwards in Harry. You may wonder how I used the sword. Well, it was silly of the creature to turn into a computer, when I have an automatic spell covering DOS. Hi Jo!!!! Loads of love!!!!!*
    
    The chameleon looked malevolently at Ra, then turned into a bat the size of a large house, and flapped away. Slowly, the green and pink chequers faded into a sick shade of puce. Ra sheathed his sword and held out his hand.
    
    ‘Hi, I’m Ra. Pleased to meet you.’ He tried to smile cheerfully, but it just looked like a smirk, as people often told him. It wasn’t that he was smug, just that it was physically impossible for him to smile nicely. He gave up and opened his mouth, which made him look gormless. ‘Better than smug.’ he thought, ‘Perhaps they’ll think I’m stupid.’ He identified quickly with Homer Simpson, a character these natives should be unfamiliar with, unless they had TVs.

12. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

    #12

    "Oh, don't worry, it was just one of the computer gremlins. Remind me to set up an appointment to have the exterminator come by the citadel." Ria pushed her spectacles up. "So. Now what do we do?"

13. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

    #13

    ‘Well, I suppose we wait till the evil one returns,’ said Ra, ‘but in the meantime we could get into some really jolly adventures.’ He immediately realised that in this language, he was sounding like a nineteen fifties school boy. He cursed language research and tried again. ‘What I mean is, surely there will be other mountains to clim…..’ Now he sounded like a bad poet. If only….. ‘I didn’t catch your name.’ he said quickly, changing the subject.
    
    *But seriously, I’m writing a book, and I’m looking for some action. It’s a book about a book about a book, and I’m looking for a co-writer. It’s Science Fiction/Fantasy with a spy story and strong social satire. It’s also ‘supposed’ to be very funny at times, and sad, and certainly outrageous. I’ve got 100 or so pages packed with action and plot. There’s virtually no filler at all, and I’ve got about another 70 that need sorting and writing up, and the whole plot sorted. It could be finished within a month or so. I don’t know if you write, but if you do, you might be interested as this is a very complete project that just needs polishing up. I’ve been working on it for many years now, and I’m pretty sure it’ll make Ian M Banks seem straight forward. The plot is so complex that it requires two writers to make sure it makes sense to the reader. And there’s short stories as the book within the book within the book. The book within the book is a ‘true’ story. The book is about the co-writers experience of putting the book together. So, that’s my suggestion of what to do now.*

14. EVIL-Amateurs must read!!

    #14

    ‘but in the meantime we could get into some really jolly adventures.’

    
    
    Hear hear!

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