*Coughs discreetly*

1. *Coughs discreetly*

   #1

   At long last, I offer myself up to the assembled throng for comment and - doubtless - random abuse and nonsense. As some of you may have noticed, I've been submitting for a while but... well... frankly, you're all frighteningly unhinged and it's only Dutch courage that's got me through the door.
   
   *Hic*
   
   So anyway, blancmange turtles floating in a thunderstruck sky.
   
   Random enough?

2. *Coughs discreetly*

   #2

   Morphs into a ferret with antlers and begins singing "OH DANNY BOY... THE PIPES THE PIPES ARE CALLING."
   
   Oh... Nearly forgot. Begins eating daffodils and begins to glow green. Then when the old song is over starts singing the irish national anthem.
   
   WEEE!!! randomness

3. *Coughs discreetly*

   #3

   Kassil leans out the door of his lair (it used to be a stable, before he got hold of it) and offers a box of doughnuts. "Welcome, welcome. Have a doughnut, relax. We're not very dangerous, really."
   
   (And yes, you were just offered doughnuts by a 20-foot-long dragon with a 20-foot-long tail.)

4. *Coughs discreetly*

   #4

   A massive sloshing barrel rockets over the top of the wall and smashes over a very large brown spot on the lawn. A foaming green liquid splashes out and expands the brown spot, killing all grass it touches. A whistling sound drifts from above, and a figure splashes down into the pond of grog.
   "D'ARR!"
   The figure is a short penguin, dressed in a ridiculous pirate get-up. He wears a tattered seaman's jacket, a floppy black hat with a ridiculous purple feather plume, rose-lensed goggles, and a wooden toy sword painted gold.
   "YARR! I be Cap'n Penguin, an' I be welcomin' yeh' to our Citadel!"
   He then looks strangely confused.
   "Err...Eh, usually I have somethin' witty teh' say, but, uh...."

5. *Coughs discreetly*

   #5

   *Never got offered donuts when he entered. He came when Kassil was away, and Capt'Penguin was temporarily absent ;_; so he got no grog either*

6. *Coughs discreetly*

   #6

   Kassil flicks his tail absently - my, that's a rather long, wickedly sharp-looking spike on the tip - and a doughnut lazily (if something moving a slingshot speeds can be called lazy) smacks into a tray being held up by a random passerby next to Shadoweagle. Said stranger (a half-breed dark elf, by the looks of it) hands the tray over to Shadoweagle, and promptly Gates away.
   
   "Enjoy."

7. *Coughs discreetly*

   #7

   *Blinks, shakes his head, then shrugs, munching on said donut* Yay!

8. *Coughs discreetly*

   #8

   A figure creeps into the thread sidling into the shadows and looking around suspeciously at all these... er... creatures. After a while it stands up straighter and looks around with a wave to Lands "Gteetings and welcome :) ... this place is not as weird as it looks... eh yes, really" looks slightly aprehencive "Er. then again" eyes Kassil and decides to hide under one of those nice haystacks... yes safe

9. *Coughs discreetly*

   #9

   They be wierd. Not me. I'm just, ah, shall we say, different...
   
   In any case, welcome. Avoid the dragons and don't ever ever pick up purple gemstones.

10. *Coughs discreetly*

    #10

    "Exit, Kassil is a dragon." A short, brown-haired woman ambles up, pushing her spectacles up her nose. "Don't worry. We're a bunch of crazies, true, but we're reasonably harmless. I'm Ria Hawk, by the way."

11. *Coughs discreetly*

    #11

    YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
    
    ((can't think of anything intelligent to say))

12. *Coughs discreetly*

    #12

    Hello exit whats up man and strolen you never have anything intellegent to say

13. *Coughs discreetly*

    #13

    Dude!?!?!?!
    
    You can't even spell intelligent correct when it is right there for you to copy!!!

14. *Coughs discreetly*

    #14

    Well, he does claim to be the only one with multiple personalities, even though I have three active other personalities.
    
    And why are these people hiding from me? I'm harmless unless annoyed!

15. *Coughs discreetly*

    #15

    Why couldn't you be a dragon with an extreme tolerance for the inane parts of life? ...or are you?

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