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Cap'n Geezo's Secret
Despite his lackluster personal hygiene, Captain Geezo has a certain magnetism...
The Charisma of the Cap'n
In the annals of history, few buccaneers have been as feared as the treacherous Captain Zebediah Geezo. Commander of the dreaded Gyrfalcon, many a treasure ship has fallen prey to his predatory cunning.
When the faded scarlet sails of the Gyrfalcon appear, terrified captains often heave to immediately, praying that their families can raise the gold to ransom them from the bloodthirsty pirate.
In port, rakish Cap'n Geezo cuts a similarly-destructive swath through the wenches, stylishly dressed in a lace-edged shirt and silken doublet. His dark, piercing gaze and strong features complement his strangely understanding caress.
Few men are aware of the secret to his charisma.
A Rough Man of the Sea
Once, Zebediah Geezo was just another pirate, one like a hundred others involved in that vicious trade. He was unremarkable, with no more prospects than any other corsair: A short life, an ugly death, and his body sent to Davy Jones' embrace when it ended.
Then, one night in the notorious pirate haven of Sanderport, he decided to spend his booty on the most delicious of wenches, "Sweet Lamia", a lady reputed to drain men of their very souls, yet leave them begging for more of her caresses.
Determined to keep a souvenir of his memorable encounter, Geezo snatched the houri's silken undergarments as he was pulling on his own clothes and fled, half-dressed, out of the inn. Hiding the stolen items under his coat as he ran back to his ship, the pirate soon became conscious of unusual, admiring glances from passerby. Apparently, the stolen attire had been crafted with a potent magic of attraction!
A Few Frilly Comforts...
Worn beneath the Captain's fashionable garb, Sweet Lamia's delicate underthings provide Zebediah with an unusual level of comfort as well as providing a potent magical enhancement to his personal magnetism and presence.
Admittedly, the corset can chafe at times, and the garters are a bit snug, but the camisole is pure luxury and the stockings have held up remarkably well. Since he began wearing the undergarments, Geezo has had an unaccountable urge to wear eye liner, but his men have not asked, as he is reputed to be an excellent swordsman.
Meanwhile, Back in Sanderport...
Sweet Lamia is a woman of considerable charms, even without her magical enhancements. She has made it clear that she will give a substantial reward to anyone who returns her stolen things (without mentioning their magical abilities), and offers an even healthier reward to anyone who brings her certain body parts belonging to the notorious Cap'n Geezo.
The items' original creator, Hindell the Invoker, was well past his original infatuation with Sweet Lamia when her things were stolen, so he has advised her that he will not enchant another set of such remarkable attire. He would find it amusing to have the items returned to him, for he would dearly love to restore the garments and bestow them upon his newest paramour (whoever she may be).
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As I read this sub I could not help but think of the infamous Jack Sparrow and grin. And there is nothing quite like a stolen pair of magical frillies to make your day!
Yarr matey, a jolly good Talk like a Pirate Day submission.
Something had to explain that unaccountable charisma...
Ahar! A right' proper Pirate Sub indeed! Yahar!
laugh out loud funny sub!
brilliant to put in a campaign when you're doing a funny one off, eg: chrismas holiday special, or even better: Talk like a pirate day special!
I can just imagine what would happen should his men find out! no enchantment can possibly be strong enough to stop his entire life being ruined...
...perhaps the fate that the adventurers reserve fro him is nicer!
brilliant!
In order to protect himself, Captain Geezo may have recruited an "inner circle" of pirates serving him who each have their own dark secrets...
"Aye! An' these be me mates! Thet un's called 'Silks' Jorgmite, he's 'Muffin' Fortens, and the other scalawag is 'Showers' McGrue! Every one of 'em's an able hand and true!"
I also could not help but think of good old Jack.
I can use this right away. just last week I fudged stats on an pirate captain and this is a great reason and possibly an adventure hook for my PCs.
thank you.
Muahahahahah! Oh, what a silly beauty this is!
Excellent work, Wulf. You've made me laugh, and see the whole Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy in a new light. :)
It was fun and, for you, short. It'd be nice to use it on a villain of the PCs. My players always thoroughly loot their victims! :D
I too thought of Jack Sparrow. It is just wierd enough to be a good pirate yarn and strange enough to be something that a PC did.
I love the write up. That is top knotch. It makes me want to say, "Good job Wulfie. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."
Simply hilarious!